My tongue has not been quiet the past few days. My entire body is tense as I wait for the final straw that will break the proverbial camel’s back. I feel rough, gritty and everyone else is rubbing against my grain…causing more and more agitation until the friction reaches a burning point and out of my mouth protrudes a vicious slew of words that pierce the hearts of those around me. Yep, I’ve become that girl…again. Ugh…I finally get naughty reigned in and under control. Fabulous! One point Kim, zero Satan. Stubborn Kim starts to soften..2 points Kim, zero the evil one. Then we come to the issues of temper, anger, and controlling my words. I have done well, made great progress, and then just these last couple of days I am so irritable, especially with my children who are not listening or claiming not to hear the instructions that I repeated 5 separate times, in a very clear tone, only for that tone to change from assertive to downright nasty by repeat number 5. Even as I type this I feel tension in my shoulders that could hold up a major bridge during rush hour.
Ok, let’s figure this out, look for the cause…how did I get back here? How? How my friends? Because I am a sinner pure and simple. That no matter what I do, I will eventually fall. There is no such thing as perfection in this lifetime and while each and every day I will strive to do better, to improve, I am going to fall…flat on my face in a not so graceful way… And I am going to do this over and over and over again.
My goal is not perfection and to fix all that is wrong. No, for this is an impossible task. My plan is to improve, just a little bit each and every day, each moment if I can. To find pleasure in praise, grace in gratitude…with a heart fixed above, by a girl who needs a Savior more than she needs air. If I did not have Jesus walking with me on the adventure of life, I would not survive, I could never make it. But with Him, not only can I survive, but I can also thrive.
So friends, I am going to attempt to rub away the rough edges of my being today and polish my life with the gift of praise and a heart of gratitude.
Lord, thank you for saving me from myself. I am a giant mess, but one that You know well, better than I know myself and You love every single stinkin’ part of the mess that I am. Thank you for loving me in-spite of me and walking on this beautiful journey of life with me together… Please rub away my roughness today as I focus on You. Help your healing love mend my broken places and pour over into all areas of my life. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen!
Ok, let’s figure this out, look for the cause…how did I get back here? How? How my friends? Because I am a sinner pure and simple. That no matter what I do, I will eventually fall. There is no such thing as perfection in this lifetime and while each and every day I will strive to do better, to improve, I am going to fall…flat on my face in a not so graceful way… And I am going to do this over and over and over again.
My goal is not perfection and to fix all that is wrong. No, for this is an impossible task. My plan is to improve, just a little bit each and every day, each moment if I can. To find pleasure in praise, grace in gratitude…with a heart fixed above, by a girl who needs a Savior more than she needs air. If I did not have Jesus walking with me on the adventure of life, I would not survive, I could never make it. But with Him, not only can I survive, but I can also thrive.
So friends, I am going to attempt to rub away the rough edges of my being today and polish my life with the gift of praise and a heart of gratitude.
Lord, thank you for saving me from myself. I am a giant mess, but one that You know well, better than I know myself and You love every single stinkin’ part of the mess that I am. Thank you for loving me in-spite of me and walking on this beautiful journey of life with me together… Please rub away my roughness today as I focus on You. Help your healing love mend my broken places and pour over into all areas of my life. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen!
