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I cant handle reality! I cant handle it all at once. Its possible to float down the river one piece of wood at a time! One idea at a time.
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My mother had a deep satanic hatred for me! Sadistic! I have no idea what it was about! possibly she was jealous because she had no life! I do not care whY ! I do not need to know why she had this kind of core hatred for me! abusive hatred! from the beginning! Evil demonic active aggressive hatred!

The goal is to forget about her and move on!