Deeper Trust
One of the hardest lessons to be learned in the Spiritual life is the letting go of our idols that we create that we think are God. So, as we age, and hopefully mature, these idols are smashed and another one arises, though hopefully closer to the heart of who and what God is. I believe that is a never-ending process.
When the God of our understanding fails us, it is then that a crisis of sorts happens and we either have to deepen our faith through prayer and yes study, or we back away. All relationships go through this crisis. It leads, hopefully, to a revaluation and a maturing of the relationship.
One trail that must be gone through is the experience of God’s absence, or withdrawal. This must happen, for if it does not, the soul becomes stuck in a relationship mostly with ‘self’, often the harsher aspects. We all understand anger, rejection, and unforgiveness. So, we place this human way of responding to hurt, betrayal, and emotional pain by withdrawing and protecting ourselves. This is projected onto our understanding of God.
This is a common question that is often asked of me: “Where is God? I no longer feel the joy or presence of the Lord”. Well, our emotional state does not in any way change God’s relationship with all of His children. When we are in the desert, a place that is dry, and where prayer is a struggle, it is at that time that we have to go deeper and make a hard, but free choice, to love God for Himself, and not for what we can get out of Him. It is in that withdrawal that our idols one by one turn to sand and we draw closer to the Infinite light of God’s love.
Jesus came as a child, a humble revelation of God. He entered into our experience, all of them, yet never lost trust in the Father’s love. His reason for coming was to show us the Father. To see Jesus is to see the Father.
Any Christian spirituality that does not line up with the “Parable of the Prodigal Son” is off the mark. Hence the need for the desert experience to draw us deeper into trust that is beyond our feelings and emotions. It is a hard lesson to learn, and I believe for most it is a lifetime journey.
We are the cross we must carry. Yet, when allowing the healing love of Christ Jesus to become a reality, it does become lighter because we learn to not always trust our emotions and feelings, as important as they are.
So pray with hope, even when it is a struggle. Continue in prayer when feeling overwhelmed with distraction. Pray when in the grip of one’s weakness. Pray when joyful and full of trust. No matter how we feel, or what deep emotions we are feeling, God is with us, loving us, leading us all into deeper trust. -Br-MD
