ITs preliminary work; Its starting. Im starting to prepare a place for myself in the world. Im slowly moving.
Im feeling, sending out feelers! thats the best way to describe it. Im sending out missiles in front of me to take my rightful place among the people. Its very slow. its hard earned. Ive earned my way the hard way, up the hard ropes! and Im biting at the top end of the chain. Im not at the top. Im securely swinging three quarters of the way up. Or less. maybe 60%. Im not sure.
I know Im getting more solid because Im getting more real, and intimate and honest. And Im practicing these things in front of people and very slowly with people.
Im practicing basic child things in front of people. meaning, the basics of the basics.
My situation is sad, but it is what it is! and it is sad.
I am practicing with good people! I mean, you can't ask for better! their great!
The problem is; Im sick! and Im practicing therapeutic stuff with them! and they did not ask to be therapists working with me!
Im finding that taking the chance is the biggest deal. This is where the growth lies.
I understand Im not with friends and I never was. Im alone and I'm going to end up alone! and I was never with friends in the first place.
This hurts. I have to trust God.
Things are tuff. They are getting better. Im doing things alone. Its slow going, and others see that Im alone! and so they are not with me and never will be, yet, Im getting stronger.
Girls in the meetings are deceptive. Its as simple as that. They lie! and it does not bother them, and they date liars and it does not bother them..
I create some hatred with others; Im on the side of God and Im bringing up God things around people that are in the dark, so lots of hate exists.
Its about talking to God and working with God and trusting God.
Im feeling, sending out feelers! thats the best way to describe it. Im sending out missiles in front of me to take my rightful place among the people. Its very slow. its hard earned. Ive earned my way the hard way, up the hard ropes! and Im biting at the top end of the chain. Im not at the top. Im securely swinging three quarters of the way up. Or less. maybe 60%. Im not sure.
I know Im getting more solid because Im getting more real, and intimate and honest. And Im practicing these things in front of people and very slowly with people.
Im practicing basic child things in front of people. meaning, the basics of the basics.
My situation is sad, but it is what it is! and it is sad.
I am practicing with good people! I mean, you can't ask for better! their great!
The problem is; Im sick! and Im practicing therapeutic stuff with them! and they did not ask to be therapists working with me!
Im finding that taking the chance is the biggest deal. This is where the growth lies.
I understand Im not with friends and I never was. Im alone and I'm going to end up alone! and I was never with friends in the first place.
This hurts. I have to trust God.
Things are tuff. They are getting better. Im doing things alone. Its slow going, and others see that Im alone! and so they are not with me and never will be, yet, Im getting stronger.
Girls in the meetings are deceptive. Its as simple as that. They lie! and it does not bother them, and they date liars and it does not bother them..
I create some hatred with others; Im on the side of God and Im bringing up God things around people that are in the dark, so lots of hate exists.
Its about talking to God and working with God and trusting God.
