"Nobody likes me. They all seem to hate."
When on earth am I going to grow up? These thoughts are constantly on my mind.
I hate compulsing. It just runs my life. It enslaves me. When do I get to be in charge of my life?
Today I found out that these neighbors, who I really wanted to get know for ungodly reasons, connected with other neighbors in my apartment complex. These neighbors were not very friendly to me. Now, all I could think about is, what is wrong with me? They pass by and ignore me; but they connect with other neighbors. This is what I hate about myself. Why do I care? They are drug addicts.
I guess it's my narcissism that wants me to be this well-liked person.
People are going to pass away; I know this. So why do I obcess whether they like me or not? I don't know. But it is hard to be in a relationship with the Almighty God when I think of all the people I've reached out to and got rejected. I haven't even gotten over my past rejections.
Narcissism is a disease. It's a selfish, self-loving, arrogant attitude that keeps me from loving people the way Jesus said to love. I am enslave to narcissism.
I tried make myself happy by telling myself that I don't need people to like me. I would say this over and over again. But it made my compulsion stronger. The truth is I want to be liked by my neighbors and anyone I come in contact with. But they don't. There is something unappealing about me, and that sucks.
I need to figure out a way to be alone and be OKAY. I need to have "my cup is half full attitude, not my cup is mostly empty attitude" because I want friends.
I NEED TO GROW UP!!!
When on earth am I going to grow up? These thoughts are constantly on my mind.
I hate compulsing. It just runs my life. It enslaves me. When do I get to be in charge of my life?
Today I found out that these neighbors, who I really wanted to get know for ungodly reasons, connected with other neighbors in my apartment complex. These neighbors were not very friendly to me. Now, all I could think about is, what is wrong with me? They pass by and ignore me; but they connect with other neighbors. This is what I hate about myself. Why do I care? They are drug addicts.
I guess it's my narcissism that wants me to be this well-liked person.
People are going to pass away; I know this. So why do I obcess whether they like me or not? I don't know. But it is hard to be in a relationship with the Almighty God when I think of all the people I've reached out to and got rejected. I haven't even gotten over my past rejections.
Narcissism is a disease. It's a selfish, self-loving, arrogant attitude that keeps me from loving people the way Jesus said to love. I am enslave to narcissism.
I tried make myself happy by telling myself that I don't need people to like me. I would say this over and over again. But it made my compulsion stronger. The truth is I want to be liked by my neighbors and anyone I come in contact with. But they don't. There is something unappealing about me, and that sucks.
I need to figure out a way to be alone and be OKAY. I need to have "my cup is half full attitude, not my cup is mostly empty attitude" because I want friends.
I NEED TO GROW UP!!!
