So I noticed in the church thread that I posted yesterday that there are some people who have a hard time going because they feel uncomfortable, because they don't know others. I just wanted to share with you my experience on this, even though it is stll a work in progress. So I begin:
I have struggled with church for years, with feeling that churches do not welcome people and people get lost within the cracks. I feel very strongly that if I were not a christian, I would not attend church. I am a Christian and many times I have struggled with going to church. Why would I, if I was a non believer, go to church when it seems that even christians don't want to go, don't find it is very important, or don't even act friendly?
"I walk into church, make my way through the crowd of people, and find myself a seat. I listen to the sermon. I sing along with the worship. When it is over I make my way back to the car, no one to greet me or talk with; I barely even remember what was said in the sermon."
How many have felt that way? Is it not wonder that it is so easy to skip church or to stop going. Why go to a place when one isn't getting anything out of it? Why go to a place when it makes us feel left out, a loner, and not accepted?
I know the feeling. I still get the feeling. Currently I attend a church that has some of the same issues. I am beginning to think that a lot of churches struggle with these things. Most specifically, connection with others. I love the sermon that the pastor gives. My pastor is very gifted (and this I know, as I have tended many churches in my town to see what was available) and I look forward each week to hearing more from the Word through God using my pastor.
Yet, there is the little issue of fellowship. I go to church...and feel lost. I know a few people, but the rest are strangers. I have tried to connect with people my age, but they don't connect. I found this in a lot of churches. I just complained, did my best to go to events....no luck. People just don't seem to go or care. So I changed my plan of attack. I went to see my pastor.
My pastor listened as I expressed my feelings. He agreed. He said that they have tried to get people my age to connect but for some reason, they are failing. However, he believed that I could find the spiritual fellowship that I was longing for and looking for in the church. He asked me to give him a chance to help make that happen to me. He invited me to attend his cell group with him.
Since then, I have not gotten the connection that I was hoping for, but I am still hoping. Speaking with the pastor made me realize something. We need to do our best to connect. Often I have gone to church expecting THEM to reach out to me since they belong to the church. True. I still believe that THIS should be the case. However, I am not a helpless person. I can realize that yes, christians are fallen sinners and that we struggle with outreach and connection with others. So, I can't just sit down and let it be.
I have found some things to do so that I may connect. For one, I am going to attend cell group whenever there are activities. This way I can get to know a few more people and make friendships that way. Secondly, have started to participate in Bible studies.
I am going to be meeting with some of the leaders in the church for different ministries. If I want to feel connected, I need to get involved. I need to use the gifts that God has given me to serve.
So why should we go to church anyway? I think one reason is because the Bible (Hebrews 10:25) tells us to not stop meeting together. Church is about fellowship (although if we don't feel it there....that makes it difficult...hence MY frustrations, hence my trying to get more involved). I also think that we should go so that we can encourage others. We have gifts, we have things that we can give to the body. We all have different functions:
"Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members so not have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesysins, let him use in in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully." (Romans 12:4-8)
And I think that one of the biggest disatisfactions as a Christian is not knowing one's purpose...and more so...not being able do one's purpose. I think that church is a good place to start, to serve. To give back to God. I don't think we are supposed to just go to church to just make friends or to get fed by the word (often the only time we get anything from scripture).
I know this has become long, perhaps not even helpful to any of you. I know that for myself I am not free of disatisfaction and that I have a long way to go in finding my place in church. Yet I just felt that there is great disatisfaction from church...and just wanted to throw out some ideas...perhaps some encouragement.
I have struggled with church for years, with feeling that churches do not welcome people and people get lost within the cracks. I feel very strongly that if I were not a christian, I would not attend church. I am a Christian and many times I have struggled with going to church. Why would I, if I was a non believer, go to church when it seems that even christians don't want to go, don't find it is very important, or don't even act friendly?
"I walk into church, make my way through the crowd of people, and find myself a seat. I listen to the sermon. I sing along with the worship. When it is over I make my way back to the car, no one to greet me or talk with; I barely even remember what was said in the sermon."
How many have felt that way? Is it not wonder that it is so easy to skip church or to stop going. Why go to a place when one isn't getting anything out of it? Why go to a place when it makes us feel left out, a loner, and not accepted?
I know the feeling. I still get the feeling. Currently I attend a church that has some of the same issues. I am beginning to think that a lot of churches struggle with these things. Most specifically, connection with others. I love the sermon that the pastor gives. My pastor is very gifted (and this I know, as I have tended many churches in my town to see what was available) and I look forward each week to hearing more from the Word through God using my pastor.
Yet, there is the little issue of fellowship. I go to church...and feel lost. I know a few people, but the rest are strangers. I have tried to connect with people my age, but they don't connect. I found this in a lot of churches. I just complained, did my best to go to events....no luck. People just don't seem to go or care. So I changed my plan of attack. I went to see my pastor.
My pastor listened as I expressed my feelings. He agreed. He said that they have tried to get people my age to connect but for some reason, they are failing. However, he believed that I could find the spiritual fellowship that I was longing for and looking for in the church. He asked me to give him a chance to help make that happen to me. He invited me to attend his cell group with him.
Since then, I have not gotten the connection that I was hoping for, but I am still hoping. Speaking with the pastor made me realize something. We need to do our best to connect. Often I have gone to church expecting THEM to reach out to me since they belong to the church. True. I still believe that THIS should be the case. However, I am not a helpless person. I can realize that yes, christians are fallen sinners and that we struggle with outreach and connection with others. So, I can't just sit down and let it be.
I have found some things to do so that I may connect. For one, I am going to attend cell group whenever there are activities. This way I can get to know a few more people and make friendships that way. Secondly, have started to participate in Bible studies.
I am going to be meeting with some of the leaders in the church for different ministries. If I want to feel connected, I need to get involved. I need to use the gifts that God has given me to serve.
So why should we go to church anyway? I think one reason is because the Bible (Hebrews 10:25) tells us to not stop meeting together. Church is about fellowship (although if we don't feel it there....that makes it difficult...hence MY frustrations, hence my trying to get more involved). I also think that we should go so that we can encourage others. We have gifts, we have things that we can give to the body. We all have different functions:
"Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members so not have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesysins, let him use in in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully." (Romans 12:4-8)
And I think that one of the biggest disatisfactions as a Christian is not knowing one's purpose...and more so...not being able do one's purpose. I think that church is a good place to start, to serve. To give back to God. I don't think we are supposed to just go to church to just make friends or to get fed by the word (often the only time we get anything from scripture).
I know this has become long, perhaps not even helpful to any of you. I know that for myself I am not free of disatisfaction and that I have a long way to go in finding my place in church. Yet I just felt that there is great disatisfaction from church...and just wanted to throw out some ideas...perhaps some encouragement.
