Well today I went to a career expo to see where my future could be. It was rather hard to admit that I am a teacher who is not teaching. People do give you a bit of a weird look as if to say "what is wrong with you?" I don't think they would have appreciated me answering "well I am just waiting on the Lord right now" so I just smiled and made some lame excuse about just coming back from Korea and then moved on. I guess you can say that I am more than struggling with my lack of employment. 
I have calculated that it has now been over 2 months since I last worked which is horrific and terrifying for me. I feel absolutaly useless and sort of loosing grip on all sanity. I have tried many doors at the moment and all of them seem to closing fast. Other than moving overseas to become an ESL teacher again I really am running out of hope. Melbourne has not been fun from the start and there is no way I can go back and work in England.
Oh dear, I seem to be complaining a lot. I guess I feel a lot down at the moment. I am leaving Melbourne soon so hopefully then I will get my life back on track. Melbourne has been an interesting learning curve. I love the church that I have been going to as well as meet a new friend. But then hanging out with one of my old friends enabled me to fall back into some old habits and ended up lost for a moment between the old and new. There is nothing like a reality to check to wake you up! I didn't realise how much I had changed until now. I also realised that I could not live here in Melbourne. I love my friend immensely but I have chosen a different path to the one that she is walking and I don't think that I can (nor do I want to) go back. Part of me doesn't want to leave her behind but then I also know that some decisions are hers and that God will help her in more ways than I could (even if I was sharing a house with her).
Anyway life is like that at the moment. I will be glad to get out of here and can't wait until I have some answers to the problems I keep praying about.
I have calculated that it has now been over 2 months since I last worked which is horrific and terrifying for me. I feel absolutaly useless and sort of loosing grip on all sanity. I have tried many doors at the moment and all of them seem to closing fast. Other than moving overseas to become an ESL teacher again I really am running out of hope. Melbourne has not been fun from the start and there is no way I can go back and work in England. Oh dear, I seem to be complaining a lot. I guess I feel a lot down at the moment. I am leaving Melbourne soon so hopefully then I will get my life back on track. Melbourne has been an interesting learning curve. I love the church that I have been going to as well as meet a new friend. But then hanging out with one of my old friends enabled me to fall back into some old habits and ended up lost for a moment between the old and new. There is nothing like a reality to check to wake you up! I didn't realise how much I had changed until now. I also realised that I could not live here in Melbourne. I love my friend immensely but I have chosen a different path to the one that she is walking and I don't think that I can (nor do I want to) go back. Part of me doesn't want to leave her behind but then I also know that some decisions are hers and that God will help her in more ways than I could (even if I was sharing a house with her).
Anyway life is like that at the moment. I will be glad to get out of here and can't wait until I have some answers to the problems I keep praying about.
