Well my dad is back for the weekend and I know it bothers my mom alot and I can tell. I bought food for everyone ...and when we got home my mom didn't help me carry the food in she just storms off...
I can't do it, I always do it. I love my mom so much but I hate how I have to hold everything in, my pain...their pain.. and I just have to push it aside.
Already my parents are fighting...I'm just like man.. My cousin is abou5 to be married, my friend is going on a cruise and about to propose to his girlfriend...
And here I am, still lonely and alone..and still in this shxtty mess.
Worrying about my dumb brother who is being manipulated by a pastor and walks and hour long in the streets sometimes bc he can't wake up...then keeping my mom happy... Not sure how to feel about my dad..
Then I have to be happy for my friends who've made it out of their hell. I just..
If I had one friend near me,with me, that I can see,feel,touch and hear...it would make all the difference in the world.
Now I get why I'm depressed. I just wish I had someone(other than God..please don't comment that. I'm letting you know ahead of time it will be deleted)
Ill be okay... I just wish I didn't feel so alone...and I don't want the rest of my life to be like this... I just ...Idk
Like..God.. Why could I be lily Singh? YouTube famous, writing novels and just being amazing... Why couldn't I be her? Why did I have to be me?
I just feel so sad atm.... I just want to be successful..., I just want to be happy
I can't do it, I always do it. I love my mom so much but I hate how I have to hold everything in, my pain...their pain.. and I just have to push it aside.
Already my parents are fighting...I'm just like man.. My cousin is abou5 to be married, my friend is going on a cruise and about to propose to his girlfriend...
And here I am, still lonely and alone..and still in this shxtty mess.
Worrying about my dumb brother who is being manipulated by a pastor and walks and hour long in the streets sometimes bc he can't wake up...then keeping my mom happy... Not sure how to feel about my dad..
Then I have to be happy for my friends who've made it out of their hell. I just..
If I had one friend near me,with me, that I can see,feel,touch and hear...it would make all the difference in the world.
Now I get why I'm depressed. I just wish I had someone(other than God..please don't comment that. I'm letting you know ahead of time it will be deleted)
Ill be okay... I just wish I didn't feel so alone...and I don't want the rest of my life to be like this... I just ...Idk
Like..God.. Why could I be lily Singh? YouTube famous, writing novels and just being amazing... Why couldn't I be her? Why did I have to be me?
I just feel so sad atm.... I just want to be successful..., I just want to be happy