from old blog Septemeber 25, 2007
Dear Jesus,
I don't even know where to start or what to say. I give up. I'm at that breaking point, Lord. So. What now. I just don't care anymore.
I've prayed you clear my understanding. Now I just feel sad and like everything is for not. I don't want to feel this way. If this message is from you why would you send it that way. If this is not from you please show me what the true message is. This message is tearing me up. It crushes me so hard it makes the pain in my flesh heart nothing. I'm told to lay everything at your feet. I was under the understanding we'd already been there and done that. I had such peace with that. So now what. Start all over. I don't know when I'll be back to write you, Lord. I just don't know if I can do this anymore.
You know my heart, Lord. Help me know and understand. I'm laying broken and bleeding at your feet. I'm staying right there until I understand, Lord. You know what I've been through. I've lived twenty lives. They've been empty, broken, shattered, abused, tormented, rejected, and just plain stupid. I keep hoping. I keep trusting. I keep praying. I keep faitheing. Now this. I'm just plain mad now. So what now. I won't tell you I'm not mad. I won't lie to you Lord. So now what.
I am nothing if not for you
Dear Jesus,
I don't even know where to start or what to say. I give up. I'm at that breaking point, Lord. So. What now. I just don't care anymore.
I've prayed you clear my understanding. Now I just feel sad and like everything is for not. I don't want to feel this way. If this message is from you why would you send it that way. If this is not from you please show me what the true message is. This message is tearing me up. It crushes me so hard it makes the pain in my flesh heart nothing. I'm told to lay everything at your feet. I was under the understanding we'd already been there and done that. I had such peace with that. So now what. Start all over. I don't know when I'll be back to write you, Lord. I just don't know if I can do this anymore.
You know my heart, Lord. Help me know and understand. I'm laying broken and bleeding at your feet. I'm staying right there until I understand, Lord. You know what I've been through. I've lived twenty lives. They've been empty, broken, shattered, abused, tormented, rejected, and just plain stupid. I keep hoping. I keep trusting. I keep praying. I keep faitheing. Now this. I'm just plain mad now. So what now. I won't tell you I'm not mad. I won't lie to you Lord. So now what.
I am nothing if not for you
