I woke up after a half sleepless night and another bad dream and I faced reality.
I can't live in my dreams and lately I don't want too as they've been nightmares. So I've accepted this...my friends are gone and have since moved on. Some of our friendships are on hiatus for now will they be renewed or canceled is yet to be determined. I've accepted that.
Now I get to grieve them properly.
Outside of that. I said goodbye to J today. I really don't want too but I know I have too. I recognize that things haven't been healthy between us. I don't know if they ever have to be honest. I recognize that.
I need to process T a bit more. I picked up a book about a verbal abusive relationship and I need to explore the recesses of my mind that I've ignored for the last year.
One thing I noticed the other day is that T destroyed most of my dreams or my beliefs in my dreams. Now I want to see what exists and what is truly for me.
I broke my own heart tonight by saying goodbye but maybe its for the best. Maybe.
I can't live in my dreams and lately I don't want too as they've been nightmares. So I've accepted this...my friends are gone and have since moved on. Some of our friendships are on hiatus for now will they be renewed or canceled is yet to be determined. I've accepted that.
Now I get to grieve them properly.
Outside of that. I said goodbye to J today. I really don't want too but I know I have too. I recognize that things haven't been healthy between us. I don't know if they ever have to be honest. I recognize that.
I need to process T a bit more. I picked up a book about a verbal abusive relationship and I need to explore the recesses of my mind that I've ignored for the last year.
One thing I noticed the other day is that T destroyed most of my dreams or my beliefs in my dreams. Now I want to see what exists and what is truly for me.
I broke my own heart tonight by saying goodbye but maybe its for the best. Maybe.