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littlestar
- Author cflittlestar
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Why i keep expecting, when I know often it's disappointment.
I am disappointed. About the number of ...s .
Not sure what's wrong, the section. It's like there's a flu that spreading and infecting many in the section.
I feel depress that I have got no email , no messages and replies of any sort.
I tried to get use to loneliness but .....
So much problem, so weak, so wish to do something, so depress.
Need to rest my brain.
I feel very insecure, I can't help it. I wish I am not, but I am. I know there's God, I don't need to feel insecure, but I still am.
Feeling....
Just don't feel ....
coz no one.....
why....
I don't really...
can't get thru....
I was reading the "internet addiction" post and someone replied, suggesting to use a timer, which I think it's a good idea.
I WAS looking for an online timer, with "music", coz the (fire) alarm sound will scare me in a sudden.
There are some online to download, but then I don't know if they...
Fall again and again, or i never get up?
spent too much time on pc again.
After when happen tonight, I am so tire, I really don't feel like shower (feel guilty about it), i just want to go straight to sleep.
eat
check email
laundry
wash beans
outline pattern
shower
I found that I cannot talk to her at all, coz she would drive me mad.
I wish I am dead, if she is not dead.
7:30 pm eat, hope so.....
8:45 pm prepare, wash nose....
then prepare things for shower....
9:30 pm shower.....
So many things happen...
waiting
dinner
unsure
hard food
lazy person
throw food away
.....
so many things happen, not like anyone would understand even if I tell anyone....
Next door (young people group) is partying for new year, i can hear in my bed room. I feel sad, I hope I have friends like that too.
dusted off the big table, havent sort things yet.
will do the laundry and meanwhile do the sorting.
Not taking shower again.... coz too late....
Hard to go by myself, hard.
Also, weather...
If it's FH home, I can go by myself, much much nearer than s home.
I need to clear out the to-be-clear-out first.
Then some of the hair piece.
Then some accessories.
Meanwhile, try some pants too.