Back again.... Not hiding... forced hiding

Not that interested in being on the computer writing blogs... Usually Im writing lots of blogs when I have to. When I feel seclusion coming on and I need to hide for a month, I write blogs... However, Im feeling frightened from the world; I want to go outside.. Im afraid... bad mean people out there are keeping me from my good.. I have to learn to trust God and keep working with him... Its times like this I want to give up on the outside world. Why should I be treated with such contempt and disrespect....

I have a very hard time talking to people.. I feel I have nothing to offer them in the real world.. I will be judged.... I will be compared to others.. This hurts...

I like it when I go through my withdrawn phases... I stay inside...

It would be grand to be around more educated people...

I dont know which way this world is closing... it seems to have gotten allot worse in a short time... strikingly worse in some areas... I suppose its better in some areas... Im not sure what those would be... Would be interesting to find out...

I need a real stronger relationship with God.... Much stronger.. a relationship that will protect me from the outside world...