Well, today is a new day. I thank God for the wisdom he has granted me so far. I feel the enemy is still attacking me mentally and prayer is all I have. My fiance have been fasting since last saturday. This was my first time fasting and I thought I was going to give in the first day. I prayed to God for strength and he held me out for 3 full days. We drank a cup of milk a night and the connection you get with God is amazing!
I gave in on monday morning. I had to eat. I was shakey, and felt sick. So I ate a banana and some yogurt. My fiance continued to fast tho. I felt guilty and felt like I abandoned her as a fasting support. So I continued to go again. Well, I had a stress cardio test booked for tues. So once again, I had to eat. I felt horrible when I was eating and I knew she wasn't. So I began to fast again.
We had some tough days coming up, that involved her ex husband and the divorce lawyer, plus they had their citizenship ceremony to go to. I stayed back from both events. I did not want to see or deal with her ex husband, not because I hate him, but because I feel ridiculous when I am near him. (let alone having over and over to explain our situation). I love Norma deeply and I have to learn to deal with humility, to throw away any pride that I have and I have to learn to die to self as well.
So after the ceremony was over, we went with some special friends from church to lunch. We both gave in and ate as a celebration for our victory. Now we are back to fasting again.
I pray Lord Jesus, that you bless me with that connection again, and hope to keep that connection strong with you always. I also pray Lord that you can bless Norma and I with strength for this fast again. I know Jesus that you have done so much for us and I have nothing to give you in return. I wish to serve you more Lord Jesus! I love you Jesus, in Jesus Christ's Name....Amen!!
I gave in on monday morning. I had to eat. I was shakey, and felt sick. So I ate a banana and some yogurt. My fiance continued to fast tho. I felt guilty and felt like I abandoned her as a fasting support. So I continued to go again. Well, I had a stress cardio test booked for tues. So once again, I had to eat. I felt horrible when I was eating and I knew she wasn't. So I began to fast again.
We had some tough days coming up, that involved her ex husband and the divorce lawyer, plus they had their citizenship ceremony to go to. I stayed back from both events. I did not want to see or deal with her ex husband, not because I hate him, but because I feel ridiculous when I am near him. (let alone having over and over to explain our situation). I love Norma deeply and I have to learn to deal with humility, to throw away any pride that I have and I have to learn to die to self as well.
So after the ceremony was over, we went with some special friends from church to lunch. We both gave in and ate as a celebration for our victory. Now we are back to fasting again.
I pray Lord Jesus, that you bless me with that connection again, and hope to keep that connection strong with you always. I also pray Lord that you can bless Norma and I with strength for this fast again. I know Jesus that you have done so much for us and I have nothing to give you in return. I wish to serve you more Lord Jesus! I love you Jesus, in Jesus Christ's Name....Amen!!
