a miracle?

I am tired but feel the need to post here. I started a diet couple days ago and am actually pretty excited about it. I need to losr weight for me. Because it will really help my self esteem and I'm motivated. My husband continues to do everything hr can to restore our marriage and I am still hurt and doubtful about our future. I am doubtful of many things. God is trying to help me to change my perspective but it is exhausting looking to him for answers and hanging on to the truth. I plan to continue to look to him for direction and hope that the discouragement doesn't get the best of me. I am really concerned about what ill do if my husbands flaming arrows.. his poisonous arrows start flying again because I'm working to build my self esteem and just cannot take it. I think ill seriously have to get a divorce which is a major step. He assures me it won't happen again but he's said that before again and again. . I just can't take it anymore. I don't know what will happen but I do know that if this marriage and baby hope have a chance than god will need to do a miracle and my husband will have to change. Will he is the question.