Today was a harder day. I was able to go to church but was not able to concentrate well. I kept remembering all the things done to me by my kidnapper at church. It was hard to remember those things. It just showed me how much I was and am hated by my kidnapper. I have been listening to Christian inspirational music to heal myself today. I have been listening to Kari Jobe and her music is very soothing. Her music reminds me that I am precious to Jesus, even though I am broken. I sometimes feel so heavy in my heart that I want to die, but Jesus reminds me of his love. Sometimes I want Jesus to take me into heaven now, peacefully- but I know he is not finished with me yet on earth. In my church service I tried to pray and listen to my pastor but it was difficult. I could only think of how much I have been abused for being Christian. I prayed to God in service that he would help heal my memories so that I do not have to think so much about what was done to me.
Today I thought about a woman who throughout my life has visited our home. She is a Jehovah Witness and very beautiful and humble. I admire her. Thinking of her helped me today. She is very close to God. She wears long skirts and a top and has a kind face. I hope to be like her when I am older. Thinking of her devotion to God and her care for my family brought me some peace today.
Today I thought about a woman who throughout my life has visited our home. She is a Jehovah Witness and very beautiful and humble. I admire her. Thinking of her helped me today. She is very close to God. She wears long skirts and a top and has a kind face. I hope to be like her when I am older. Thinking of her devotion to God and her care for my family brought me some peace today.
