http://www.christianforums.com/t7823433/
The OP for this one is way too long to copy here, so I would just refer the reader to the link above. I actually thought the chaplain's advice was pretty solid; I just wanted to add my own tuppence to the mix.
Dear Writer,
Either your friend is the victim of extremely domineering and controlling parents and family (which is pretty typical for "missionaries" -- I mean come on, these are people who think nothing of destroying entire centuries of indigenous culture and tradition in order to spread their beliefs like viral plagues) or she does not wish to continue the friendship but is too uncomfortable (nervous or afraid) to tell you herself and her Mum stepped in to extricate her.
In either case -- at least for now, until you are able to communicate with her directly somehow to verify which it is -- there's nothing further you can do. Sadly, you must let her go.
If you are a man of faith yourself (as I assume you must be), I would suggest specifically praying against familial bondage. It is not without reason that family has been called "the ties that bind," and Erma Bombeck's witty book title which adds "... and gag!" to that statement is often no less true. While it may make some sense (well, for people dedicated to familial bondage anyway) to keep tight reins on a child or even a teenager -- and tenfold moreso when the child or teen in question is a daughter rather than a son -- it is entirely, absolutely, and unequivocally inappropriate to continue multi-noose maintenance upon a young adult of either gender. Nobody truly both loving AND intelligent would ever imagine that attempting to protect individuals past the age of accountability from making their own mistakes in life is the way to go. There is simply no excuse whatsoever for that type of agenda.
So, armed with the knowledge that this is both bondage and that it is utterly inappropriate in every sense of the word (not to mention spiritually and psychologically unhealthy in the extreme!) for ANY adult to have every personal aspect of his or her life dictated and controlled by familial nooses, smothering, and over-sheltering, we can now turn to the words of Jesus Christ himself for further insight. Just how does our Lord and Saviour regard the matter of familial bondage?
The answer is very clear from Matthew 10:34-37 and Luke 12:51-53. When it comes to following Christ -- which also includes just doing what is right in general -- the scriptures are very clear that familial bonds take a very far back seat position of secondary, even tertiary, consideration. Loyalty to Christ comes first, but loyalty to Christ also includes an entire host of other things that are involved in that loyalty, namely, how we treat one another, how we maintain our relationships, how we demonstrate respect and caring for each other, particularly other "members of the household of faith."
Being blood kin is not a free pass to interfere in these matters. Just check out what Jesus had to say when his blood kin turned up at random and just happened to interrupt him whilst he was about "his Father's business." Mark 3:31-35 is one telling of this incident. While he did not disown his blood kin, he made it abundantly clear that blood relation is basically meaningless when it comes to the distinction of "family." A person of age is free to choose his "family" as he wishes -- and genuine family is not based on circumstances over which nobody has control -- who you were born to, who they in turn were born to, who else was born as a result, etc. -- but upon the matter of kinship in heart and spirit.
I would say given the situation, and given Jesus' complete endorsement of your position in it, you have nothing to lose. Start speaking in authority over her in your prayer life and destroying those familial bondages! One day she may even turn up again after she's free, and when she learns you played a role in that it will only strengthen the healthy, happy bond of your renewed friendship.
Happy bondage-breaking!
Your Clandestine CF Chaplain, who routinely burns bootstraps and melts shackles in addition to exploding erroneous stereotypical thought processes.
The OP for this one is way too long to copy here, so I would just refer the reader to the link above. I actually thought the chaplain's advice was pretty solid; I just wanted to add my own tuppence to the mix.
Dear Writer,
Either your friend is the victim of extremely domineering and controlling parents and family (which is pretty typical for "missionaries" -- I mean come on, these are people who think nothing of destroying entire centuries of indigenous culture and tradition in order to spread their beliefs like viral plagues) or she does not wish to continue the friendship but is too uncomfortable (nervous or afraid) to tell you herself and her Mum stepped in to extricate her.
In either case -- at least for now, until you are able to communicate with her directly somehow to verify which it is -- there's nothing further you can do. Sadly, you must let her go.
If you are a man of faith yourself (as I assume you must be), I would suggest specifically praying against familial bondage. It is not without reason that family has been called "the ties that bind," and Erma Bombeck's witty book title which adds "... and gag!" to that statement is often no less true. While it may make some sense (well, for people dedicated to familial bondage anyway) to keep tight reins on a child or even a teenager -- and tenfold moreso when the child or teen in question is a daughter rather than a son -- it is entirely, absolutely, and unequivocally inappropriate to continue multi-noose maintenance upon a young adult of either gender. Nobody truly both loving AND intelligent would ever imagine that attempting to protect individuals past the age of accountability from making their own mistakes in life is the way to go. There is simply no excuse whatsoever for that type of agenda.
So, armed with the knowledge that this is both bondage and that it is utterly inappropriate in every sense of the word (not to mention spiritually and psychologically unhealthy in the extreme!) for ANY adult to have every personal aspect of his or her life dictated and controlled by familial nooses, smothering, and over-sheltering, we can now turn to the words of Jesus Christ himself for further insight. Just how does our Lord and Saviour regard the matter of familial bondage?
The answer is very clear from Matthew 10:34-37 and Luke 12:51-53. When it comes to following Christ -- which also includes just doing what is right in general -- the scriptures are very clear that familial bonds take a very far back seat position of secondary, even tertiary, consideration. Loyalty to Christ comes first, but loyalty to Christ also includes an entire host of other things that are involved in that loyalty, namely, how we treat one another, how we maintain our relationships, how we demonstrate respect and caring for each other, particularly other "members of the household of faith."
Being blood kin is not a free pass to interfere in these matters. Just check out what Jesus had to say when his blood kin turned up at random and just happened to interrupt him whilst he was about "his Father's business." Mark 3:31-35 is one telling of this incident. While he did not disown his blood kin, he made it abundantly clear that blood relation is basically meaningless when it comes to the distinction of "family." A person of age is free to choose his "family" as he wishes -- and genuine family is not based on circumstances over which nobody has control -- who you were born to, who they in turn were born to, who else was born as a result, etc. -- but upon the matter of kinship in heart and spirit.
I would say given the situation, and given Jesus' complete endorsement of your position in it, you have nothing to lose. Start speaking in authority over her in your prayer life and destroying those familial bondages! One day she may even turn up again after she's free, and when she learns you played a role in that it will only strengthen the healthy, happy bond of your renewed friendship.
Happy bondage-breaking!
Your Clandestine CF Chaplain, who routinely burns bootstraps and melts shackles in addition to exploding erroneous stereotypical thought processes.
