Well, I was right. My T threatened me with hospitalization if I couldn't contract.
So I contracted. To call Jarrod before I did anything, to email her before I did anything, and to tell my NP everything.
However, I won't have email for a week since we are going out of town and my NP cancelled the appointment for today. So I am stuck and all I have is Jarrod.
Of course, that should be enough to keep me safe. I just don't see myself actually calling him late at night, partially bc it would give away to my parents what's been going on.
Yes. My NP cancelled. Jarrod was going to go with me and talk with her about hospitalizing me for observation while doing a med switch, bc he's seen how I get when I'm put on another medication that's meant to be an AD... yet more suicidal. Ugh. And I don't need that right now, obviously.
Two years ago today I was discharged from the psych ward (hos) for the last time. Until now, that is. I'm expecting to eventually go in there, if things continue like this. :-(
Why do things have to be so complicated? why can't I just be "normal" (whatever that is)?
And tomorrow is my 20th birthday.
We're celebrating it today, have gotten some books that I asked for as well as a lovely surprise package from my sister. Yey! and Jarrod and I went on a hike along the edge of a canyon (state park near us)... it was lovely. So my day is a bit better than yesterday and the day before. Hopefully tomorrow will be bearable?
So I contracted. To call Jarrod before I did anything, to email her before I did anything, and to tell my NP everything.
However, I won't have email for a week since we are going out of town and my NP cancelled the appointment for today. So I am stuck and all I have is Jarrod.
Of course, that should be enough to keep me safe. I just don't see myself actually calling him late at night, partially bc it would give away to my parents what's been going on.
Yes. My NP cancelled. Jarrod was going to go with me and talk with her about hospitalizing me for observation while doing a med switch, bc he's seen how I get when I'm put on another medication that's meant to be an AD... yet more suicidal. Ugh. And I don't need that right now, obviously.
Two years ago today I was discharged from the psych ward (hos) for the last time. Until now, that is. I'm expecting to eventually go in there, if things continue like this. :-(
Why do things have to be so complicated? why can't I just be "normal" (whatever that is)?
And tomorrow is my 20th birthday.
We're celebrating it today, have gotten some books that I asked for as well as a lovely surprise package from my sister. Yey! and Jarrod and I went on a hike along the edge of a canyon (state park near us)... it was lovely. So my day is a bit better than yesterday and the day before. Hopefully tomorrow will be bearable?
