I remember now Lord, When i was 15, Maybe I was 16 allready...Yeah I was 16...I had an affinity for heavymetal...I loved it even, The intensity of the lyrics, and the music. At that time it was the most complex thing i had heard. I remeber You told me to let it Go. I told people, Friends,..etc...they thought I was Crazy...For throwing out my music...Ha...So did I, But I KNEW you had told me to do so...That was the first time you spoke to me...I had forgotten that...I went back...
I remember now Lord, Even when i wasnt Living for you, You Showed me things. You Showed me evil spirits in Her house. I wonder ...Did She truly believe i saw and felt them? Did I stay as alert and caring once you showed me? No...I let the World conform me, and Not you Jesus. I was a fraid of what people would think if I started following you whole heartedly.
I remember now Lord, You would show me the faces of the EvilOne, in the Company i would keep, from time to time You would show me the face of Death, it scared me...But for some reason i never stoped.
I remember now Lord, The Time you allowed The evil spirits to knock me down...Literally, Lord...that scared me straight(for a few days anyway) It was at that Concert, At the "Spirit Center"...ha...What did I expect, A place Called the "Spirit Center" Knowing what Spirit i truly have always belonged to...was i expecting a warm welcome?
I remember now Lord, When you Told me to Tell Her about you. Tell her That God Loved her, Tell her and keep encouraging her that Jesus was the only way to God, I wasnt even living for you Lord, and you gave me the power to tell her. She accepted you as her Saviour Lord, I remeber ...She Shook...The minute she prayed, i felt her shake...like the presence that made her hate her self...it left her. I remeber fealing it leave...and a warmth come into the room...LORD!!...Remind her of that moment.
I remember now Lord, I tryed to stop the flesh, You saw me, I truly Did try to stop the Flesh...To Stop my Sins. To stop Thinking the thoughts I did. Haha, Why did i think I could do that Lord? Why did i think i could stop sinning...Alone. It was impossible Lord, I mean...there was SOME things i WAS able to stop Lord, or at least you allowed me to be able to stop...for a short time...about 2 years...Didnt last for to long Lord. Actually Lord, She was allot better at it then I was...haha I had such a pride growing in me didnt I? Others Saw it...Even ones who arent living for you, They saw the Pride back then...I hope She Forgives me. I Lived for Her, That was my Goal...to Live for HER....And in that Lord, I was letting her Down. The best thing I Could have done...was Live for YOU. That is the best thing ANYONE can do for the ones They love...Live for You my Jesus.
I remember Now Lord, The Evil i Was doing this time last year. OH Lord, why you didnt strike me down that moment shows just how loving and mercyfull you are. It was no action i took physicaly...it was in my Heart, in my Mind. Oh the atrocities i Did in my mind, Torwards people I claimed To Love, Torwards YOU, ...Myself...Her...Lord If She Only knew How sorry I truly Am for it all. Do You Know Lord...You Do...You DO!!
...
I remember Now Lord, I begged you to keep her safe from me. Not that i did anything, but i was so affraid I would. That was the Only prayer i Could muster ...That You Would Keep her safe...No matter What, That She Would be safe. ...Well It Took a whole lot out of ME Lord, But to my Knowledge...You Answered my Prayer..O LORD, you have always been so gracious and good to me. SO Mercyfull. What Was Wrong With Me Lord...Even Knowing full well The Actions I was doing, Were Wrong...Knowing Full Well That if I just seeked you more then i was doing...things would have been better...I even had said that...It didnt matter.
I remember Now Lord, The Confusion I felt...The Incredible Mass hysteria that was going on inside of Me...The Worry, The over whelming Pride, and self pity, The "Its My Time" Attitude...Lord...It was three months. THREE. I Left. You Said "Come" That was that...You Left me to my Own, For Three Months...and i almost Fell into a worse Depression then I was in At My Worse.
Funny thing is Lord, You Didnt let me Slip into it. You Could have Lord, But For Some reason, You reminded me Who You Are instead. You Didnt let me Fall this time...even a little...It would have been gruesome wouldnt it have Lord? .... Haha ...yeah It would had, You Always Come in and swoop me off my Feet Lord...You Always Go to Your Children when they need you the most.
I remember Now Lord, ...Well Actually I Never Forgot You Came the Closest to me Ever...In ALL of My Life i Had never felt you Like that before...You Told me To "come" ...I kept silent and came...I went to you Lord. I Knew What you wanted. I knew this is what you had been wanting for 10 years. This is What You Wanted for TEN YEARS. I wanted "My Own" Life first Lord, So you let me...You let me Go...I WAS the TRUE prodigal Son...You Gave Me My Inheritance, You Told me to Go and do what i wanted. When I Returned Home, Only Did You Greet Me With open arms when I came Back to You Lord, But you Threw me A party. A Great Spiritual Feast, a Celebration that i did not Deserve. Thats How You Treat ALL of Your Children, if only they DO come back Home. Go back to Thier Father, and repent for how they act. You Not only forgive them...but BLESS them...You Are Loving Lord, You Are Kind and Gracious, and generous and Loving. For Ten years You Wanted me....But I wanted to taste The World, The "Spice of Life". It was For A reason I went out there Lord. I made Some wonderfull Memories...But im Back Home Lord. And I Now Live For and Unto You My God Almighty. You ARE my Life Jesus. My Pulse. My Everything. My GOD. My Father... Thank you for Accepting me. Thank you for Loving me.
I remember now Lord, Even when i wasnt Living for you, You Showed me things. You Showed me evil spirits in Her house. I wonder ...Did She truly believe i saw and felt them? Did I stay as alert and caring once you showed me? No...I let the World conform me, and Not you Jesus. I was a fraid of what people would think if I started following you whole heartedly.
I remember now Lord, You would show me the faces of the EvilOne, in the Company i would keep, from time to time You would show me the face of Death, it scared me...But for some reason i never stoped.
I remember now Lord, The Time you allowed The evil spirits to knock me down...Literally, Lord...that scared me straight(for a few days anyway) It was at that Concert, At the "Spirit Center"...ha...What did I expect, A place Called the "Spirit Center" Knowing what Spirit i truly have always belonged to...was i expecting a warm welcome?
I remember now Lord, When you Told me to Tell Her about you. Tell her That God Loved her, Tell her and keep encouraging her that Jesus was the only way to God, I wasnt even living for you Lord, and you gave me the power to tell her. She accepted you as her Saviour Lord, I remeber ...She Shook...The minute she prayed, i felt her shake...like the presence that made her hate her self...it left her. I remeber fealing it leave...and a warmth come into the room...LORD!!...Remind her of that moment.
I remember now Lord, I tryed to stop the flesh, You saw me, I truly Did try to stop the Flesh...To Stop my Sins. To stop Thinking the thoughts I did. Haha, Why did i think I could do that Lord? Why did i think i could stop sinning...Alone. It was impossible Lord, I mean...there was SOME things i WAS able to stop Lord, or at least you allowed me to be able to stop...for a short time...about 2 years...Didnt last for to long Lord. Actually Lord, She was allot better at it then I was...haha I had such a pride growing in me didnt I? Others Saw it...Even ones who arent living for you, They saw the Pride back then...I hope She Forgives me. I Lived for Her, That was my Goal...to Live for HER....And in that Lord, I was letting her Down. The best thing I Could have done...was Live for YOU. That is the best thing ANYONE can do for the ones They love...Live for You my Jesus.
I remember Now Lord, The Evil i Was doing this time last year. OH Lord, why you didnt strike me down that moment shows just how loving and mercyfull you are. It was no action i took physicaly...it was in my Heart, in my Mind. Oh the atrocities i Did in my mind, Torwards people I claimed To Love, Torwards YOU, ...Myself...Her...Lord If She Only knew How sorry I truly Am for it all. Do You Know Lord...You Do...You DO!!
...
I remember Now Lord, I begged you to keep her safe from me. Not that i did anything, but i was so affraid I would. That was the Only prayer i Could muster ...That You Would Keep her safe...No matter What, That She Would be safe. ...Well It Took a whole lot out of ME Lord, But to my Knowledge...You Answered my Prayer..O LORD, you have always been so gracious and good to me. SO Mercyfull. What Was Wrong With Me Lord...Even Knowing full well The Actions I was doing, Were Wrong...Knowing Full Well That if I just seeked you more then i was doing...things would have been better...I even had said that...It didnt matter.
I remember Now Lord, The Confusion I felt...The Incredible Mass hysteria that was going on inside of Me...The Worry, The over whelming Pride, and self pity, The "Its My Time" Attitude...Lord...It was three months. THREE. I Left. You Said "Come" That was that...You Left me to my Own, For Three Months...and i almost Fell into a worse Depression then I was in At My Worse.
Funny thing is Lord, You Didnt let me Slip into it. You Could have Lord, But For Some reason, You reminded me Who You Are instead. You Didnt let me Fall this time...even a little...It would have been gruesome wouldnt it have Lord? .... Haha ...yeah It would had, You Always Come in and swoop me off my Feet Lord...You Always Go to Your Children when they need you the most.
I remember Now Lord, ...Well Actually I Never Forgot You Came the Closest to me Ever...In ALL of My Life i Had never felt you Like that before...You Told me To "come" ...I kept silent and came...I went to you Lord. I Knew What you wanted. I knew this is what you had been wanting for 10 years. This is What You Wanted for TEN YEARS. I wanted "My Own" Life first Lord, So you let me...You let me Go...I WAS the TRUE prodigal Son...You Gave Me My Inheritance, You Told me to Go and do what i wanted. When I Returned Home, Only Did You Greet Me With open arms when I came Back to You Lord, But you Threw me A party. A Great Spiritual Feast, a Celebration that i did not Deserve. Thats How You Treat ALL of Your Children, if only they DO come back Home. Go back to Thier Father, and repent for how they act. You Not only forgive them...but BLESS them...You Are Loving Lord, You Are Kind and Gracious, and generous and Loving. For Ten years You Wanted me....But I wanted to taste The World, The "Spice of Life". It was For A reason I went out there Lord. I made Some wonderfull Memories...But im Back Home Lord. And I Now Live For and Unto You My God Almighty. You ARE my Life Jesus. My Pulse. My Everything. My GOD. My Father... Thank you for Accepting me. Thank you for Loving me.
