Greetings everyone! My name is Christopher David Moyer and I am a 38 year old Christian who struggles with Bipolar/Manic Depression. I hope to make ChristianForums.com my Spiritual Home on the internet. I am looking for mentors to help me in my walk, and I am also looking for those who are weaker in the faith, those who I can gently come beside and encourage in their relationship with the Lord. I have experienced many ups and downs in my pursuit of Truth and Purpose in my life, and I understand where a lot of people are coming from who have lingering fears of hell, and hopelessness. I also understand where people are coming from who have ever struggled with their own identity, trying to find their place in the world, in the Church, in their workplaces. I have, at times, become confused about my own identity partially as a result of my mental illness, partially as a result of beliefs I held which were completely inaccurate, beliefs I held which were irrational and poorly developed because for much of my life I had lived my life as though I was a one man island. I did not submit myself to the counsel of Church fellowship; I did not open my mind and heart to fellow Christian witnesses to see if they could provide guidance for me in my walk with the Lord. I did not apply the entire Gospel to my life, but obsessed almost solely upon the book of Revelation for many years. As a result, at times I believed things about myself which were far-fetched and grandiose, at times believing I was the Prophet Elijah, who I believed to be one of the two witnesses of the Book of Revelation, other times the Anti-Christ, and other times even believing I was the Ultimate 3-in-1 God Head, God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit all rolled into one. Overcoming these states of mind has been truly difficult, because for many years they were engrained deeply within my psyche. Medication has helped, but ultimately what has helped the most is having people come alongside me (when I was in a place to receive their help), and show me the severity of my thinking, revealing to me that God does not take lightly those who claim to be Prophets, but expects great things out of them, and especially expects them to come to Him for all manners of guidance, and never to “go it on their own.” What I learned over many years was that I was going it on my own, professing things that would be, feeling things about myself which were prideful and arrogant, and realizing that God could never use me when I was focused upon glorifying myself. I have understood the heart of Lucifer, who wanted to be glorified above serving the Lord. I too, at one time, without realizing it, was doing the same thing in my life. I held myself in higher esteem than other people, even at several times believing I was truly perfect, and even a better man than Jesus Christ, whom I thought was burning in Hell for being judgmental of the Pharisees, who he instructed not to judge (all the while judging them to hell). I have many stories of the 20+ hospitalizations I have received over the past 15 years after graduating college, and I hope to share them in succeeding blog posts over the passage of time. In each hospitalization I learned something, but it still took many times before I began to realize how destructive my thinking was to my life and to the people around me. This is the first of many blog posts I will share, all about how I came to the Truth of Christianity, the many ups and downs I have gone through over the passage of time, both in my heart, my emotions, and in my mind, the intellect. Life would have probably been easier for me had I just ditched Christianity a long time ago, but when you have become convicted of the truth of Jesus, it just does something to you. You can never look at life the same way again. And even if you veer from the path, all you have to do is read any of the many incidences in the New Testament where Christ showed compassion to sinners, and you know he is right there beckoning for you to come back into His loving arms, just like the Father beckoning to his Prodigal Son. Yes at times I have wrestled with God, at times I have very nearly hated God, but I have never fully turned my back on Him. That, for me, would be blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, and the point at which God allows you to fall 100% into your own sins, and finally and with 100% conviction reject the free gift of God’s grace and mercy. That would be the point where you finally and irrevocably reject the Savior’s death on the cross which reconciles us to God, the one who can only see beyond our sin when we take on the blood-stained robe of Christ. Without the un-merited grace and favor of our Lord Jesus Christ, we are left naked and sin-stained before the Lord of Heaven and Earth, with no recompense, no means available by which we might earn the key that opens the Paradise which is the Kingdom of Heaven. I hope to bring others into this conversation, and encourage others to bring all doubts and concerns, all grievances, all frustrations, all joys and sorrows, all praises and hallelujahs into this blog, and blog comments. I love to hear them all- the good and the bad. The good, so I can come alongside you and praise God with you, the bad, so that I can hold your hand, if you desire, and help you navigate through the darkest depths of your soul, which I have seen and experienced within myself, and in which I nearly succumbed to self-destruction. I seek to heal others emotionally, because I have been emotionally healed by others, and I know what wonders a little light can do to a darkened soul. God bless you all.
Christopher Moyer
(Bearer of Christ)
Christopher Moyer
(Bearer of Christ)
