So everyone that is Christian, would you like to share your testimony with others of how you got saved, what you used to be like, what you used to think would make you happy before you accepted Christ? I was just watching an online sermon from The Rock Church San Diego CA, and pastor Miles was encouraging everyone to share their testimonies. Here's mine.
So I was born into a Christian home, but I think I have only been a baby Christian for the past two years. I used to believe that money and success would make me happy. I barely told anyone that I was Christian, because despite growing up in a Christian country, I was still afraid of suffering at all for being a Christian. I still don't want to suffer, but now I'm ashamed that I wasn't willing to tell other people that I was a Christian, even though perhaps it was for the best that I told few people that I was, because I almost never went to church, and I only read a very tiny bit of the Bible. I used to be a judgmental hypocrite in every possible way. I would gossip at home about people at school every single day. I was apathetic towards other people, unless I could judge them. I couldn't make friends, and now I don't really wonder why. I would constantly point out other people's faults, but had an excuse for all of my own. I was also arrogant. It's because of people like me that drive people away from Christianity. I started losing it because I got bullied a lot, and eventually assumed I was a prophet because I wanted to believe I was in the right. I then fell away from Christianity for a year, thinking that there was too much suffering in the world for there to be a God. I felt something in me die while that happened, so I eventually came back to the faith to get back that small little feeling of joy I felt from Christianity. I then had a dream about God, that basically told me that I was too judgmental, and needed to be nicer to my mom, and that I wasn't sent as a prophet. Despite this dream I still continued to do everything as before. It wasn't until I read the full Bible while I was in college, and joined a youth group, and then failed out of college and developed schizophrenia that I started to see myself for what I really was. I've never been rich or successful enough to know whether it would make me happy or not, but at this point I doubt it. Part of what forced me to realize what I was was the delusions I got while I was having psychotic episodes. Since then I finally came to my senses and realized that I really was too judgemental, not a prophet (obviously. How could I have been so arrogant as to believe I was?) and I'm still working on not gossiping about my mom. I still have faults, but at least now I know on a deeper level that Jesus is about love, not judgement.
So I was born into a Christian home, but I think I have only been a baby Christian for the past two years. I used to believe that money and success would make me happy. I barely told anyone that I was Christian, because despite growing up in a Christian country, I was still afraid of suffering at all for being a Christian. I still don't want to suffer, but now I'm ashamed that I wasn't willing to tell other people that I was a Christian, even though perhaps it was for the best that I told few people that I was, because I almost never went to church, and I only read a very tiny bit of the Bible. I used to be a judgmental hypocrite in every possible way. I would gossip at home about people at school every single day. I was apathetic towards other people, unless I could judge them. I couldn't make friends, and now I don't really wonder why. I would constantly point out other people's faults, but had an excuse for all of my own. I was also arrogant. It's because of people like me that drive people away from Christianity. I started losing it because I got bullied a lot, and eventually assumed I was a prophet because I wanted to believe I was in the right. I then fell away from Christianity for a year, thinking that there was too much suffering in the world for there to be a God. I felt something in me die while that happened, so I eventually came back to the faith to get back that small little feeling of joy I felt from Christianity. I then had a dream about God, that basically told me that I was too judgmental, and needed to be nicer to my mom, and that I wasn't sent as a prophet. Despite this dream I still continued to do everything as before. It wasn't until I read the full Bible while I was in college, and joined a youth group, and then failed out of college and developed schizophrenia that I started to see myself for what I really was. I've never been rich or successful enough to know whether it would make me happy or not, but at this point I doubt it. Part of what forced me to realize what I was was the delusions I got while I was having psychotic episodes. Since then I finally came to my senses and realized that I really was too judgemental, not a prophet (obviously. How could I have been so arrogant as to believe I was?) and I'm still working on not gossiping about my mom. I still have faults, but at least now I know on a deeper level that Jesus is about love, not judgement.
