Would you...

[Kristin06]

Would you ever date someone who has previously had sex but as now become a "born again" virgin?? I have this guy friend and we were talking and I told him that I have had sex before, something I regret, and felt like I could no longer have that purity that most Christian guys are looking for....I have a new perspective on relationships and what God wants from me, but does this mean that I am no longer "whole"??

 

[livingondreams]

I absolutely would.

You have repented and are forgiven by God. The Bible tells us that we must forgive people, as well, or WE won't be forgiven.

And when you stand praying, forgiven, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. (Mark 11:25) But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heave forgive your trespasses. (Mark 11:26)

In my mind, your question is kind of like asking, "Would you ever date someone who has previously sinned but as of now has become a born again believer?" ALL of us have sinned fallen short of the glory of God . I don't believe that one sin is more extreme than another.

 

[Qyöt27]

This is an issue I had to legitimately face during High School, and I ultimately came to the conclusion (partly due to how much the idea hurt but also because of the reasons why it hurt so much) that being with the person you love and having their companionship is far more important than whether or not they've lost their virginity.

Like it's already been said, everybody makes mistakes, and while this tends to be one of the more - if not the most - personal and has some of the greatest potential to hurt, if they truly love you they won't care or at the very least be able to look past the pain to the real person standing there because that person is who they want to be with, and that requires accepting their faults and pushing those things aside because the love and companionship is too precious to let go of over, in the long run, such trivial things.

 

[MetalBlade]

I would date someone who has had sex before. Ok, maybe not if they have had a lot of sexual partners, but like yourself, I am not a virgin.

 

[mina]

yes, I would. It depends on the situation and the guy though. I wouldn't feel comfortable dating a guy that has slept around a lot and is still having problems overcoming that. Like I said it depends on the situation, if he has repented and there is no hint of that anymore in his life and he is full heartedly following Christ and I liked him then , yes I would. I trust that God would bring the right people into my life and if a man with a past was the right man then I would.

 

[DailyBlessings]

Of course I would! I don't reject anyone out of hand, certainly not for a sin that God Himself has forgiven!

 

[RHJ]

I would. I'm a born again virgin, and I've come to the conclusion that if I meet a guy who isnt a virgin but has been forgiven by God, what right do I have to hold that against him? It's not up to ME to forgive him, it's up to God.

I've also come to the conclusion that the guy I'm supposed to marry will feel the same way, and if he has issues with it that he can't get over, then I'm not supposed to marry him.

 

[Qyöt27]

Ok, maybe not if they have had a lot of sexual partners

This is also something I'd been thinking about, and at least to me, as long as they don't have some kind of disease I view that just about the same way as having done it once (and if they did have a disease I'd have more, serious thinking to do). If someone has rededicated themself or newly come into the faith and repented of those things, I don't feel that it would be right to have a problem with it based on how many partners they've had. If you can ask for forgiveness many times for a sin you have problems completely overcoming, I think this issue should be treated the same way, especially if it was done before they came to know Christ or even came back from a period of being lost.

 

[plum]

Yes I would. Because I have also been in your position. My SO is a virgin but I am not.

 

[~BelovedDaughter~]

Of course I would. I have my own past, although it didn't involve losing my virginity, but I would want him to forgive me for what I've done. Plus, God has forgiven me, so I would have to forgive my future husband for it.

 

[sweetlambofgod]

I probably would

 

[Kristin06]

Thank you all for the encouragement...I was in a relationship where there was lots of pressure to put out and since I was already in a bad place in my life, I gave in to him, which later turned out to be the wrong thing as soon after the relationship went sour....but I have found my relationship with Christ again and I know that I am forgiven by Him!!

 

[HolmesSPH]

You know even those "holy" guys who reject you think their so pure but they have had bad thoughts, they have "fooled" around with other girls and then they give you a hard time because you've had sex.. The bottomline is that we all have had some type of sexual immorality in our life weather we want to admit it or not..

You rock sister, my GF is a born again virgin and i try to encourage the same for her as I do you..

* Also a note to you guys...
A woman who you forgive and look past her sin, will love you forever, that's a true sign of love, not rejecting her is sign of spiritual maturity!!

 

[Mnse87]

I don't think I would want to be with a guy that has lost his virginity. I have waited for a long time to just meet a guy who has lost it (even though he is a born again virgin). I rather want a virgin guy that has been waiting for marriage like me.

 

[superdave]

God knows in my heart I desire a girl who is physically a virgin. But, I have not closed the door on a person who is not. I use to be real bad about that-- I wouldnt even date a girl one time because of that reason.

People can change and repent and turn from there old ways... I think it is an extreme diservice to that person to not grant them forgiveness when God already has! I am to forgive others, just as Christ has forgiven them. Me turning down a beautiful relationship for something in the past is ridicilous...and it would be a diservice to me not to enjoy an awesome relationship because of that.

Virginity is a heart issue.... if you are changed, then people should accept you clean

 

[Kristin06]

Superdave...reading your post made me feel so much better about things...this is something I have struggled with for a long time and continue to...I am afraid to get into a relationship, because I afraid of that question about sex...I have been turned down and looked at as unpure so many times that now it is hard to trust those who are still out there...but people like you help to lift me up and believe in myself again!! So thank you...

 

[rockwell]

God knows in my heart I desire a girl who is physically a virgin. But, I have not closed the door on a person who is not. I use to be real bad about that-- I wouldnt even date a girl one time because of that reason.
...People can change and repent and turn from there old ways...

Thats is so true and i must say "from your heart", I feel that same way and i have also come to realise that i have stuffed up in the past and the Lord has had enough mercy to forgive me. If i ever meet someone who is not a virgin, but the Lord has forgiven her... That's just as good as a real virgin.

Besides in God's terms, virginity is not only a physical state but also and more important a spiritual state or condition.

 

[KET20]

I would certainly date (and do date) someone who isn't a virgin. I'm not one either, so who am I to judge? And to me, it doesn't matter if they've been with one girl or 100, as long as they're not with anyone else while they're with me. Faithfulness is more important to me than someone's virginity or the number of partners they've had. Let's face it, I'm no saint either!

 

[Forever trying]

I personally don't believe in "reborn virginity". Virginity in both a physical and a spiritual sense, is about being in a state where you have not "given" yourself yet to another person. It can only be given once. Once you do give yourself to someone you lose your virginity. I believe the concept of virginity being reborn can send out a wrong message (mainly to younger people) that you can have sex, and give yourself to another person, but you can once more reclaim your virginity, is misleading (bar those whose physical virginity was lost against their will).

However, I do believe in the concepts of forgiveness and understanding, and trying to look deeper, into what someone is like on the inside. I've only fallen for a couple of girls in my life, and I'm pretty sure none were virgins. I admit that I would be a bit jealous of the other men, if that topic ever came up. But they were lovely people, smart, with good character. I had no need to judge them. In fact I felt more of a need to prove myself to them. I have no concerns at all in the future about whether the woman I'm going to marry is a virgin or not. As long as there is love, unstanding, and forgiveness, nothing else is important. After all, in one way or another, we have all sinned. You can't change it, you can only learn from it.

 

[Linnis]

I married a man who had had sex with someone other than me. I was not bothered by it, it was a non-issue.

Choosing to become sexually inactive after being sexually active is a very difficult choice to make. Choosing to do so doesn't give one back his/her virginity. Sure one becomes different person after giving up their lifestyle *but* that does not mean they are virgins once again.