Would you consider this crazy?

[mommame2]

I've posted here before about my many marital problems. I finally got divorced a few months ago. Well my ex discovered I had a new friend and he freaked out. He told all of my co workers and our friends that I was essentially a heating harlot. He turned our 8 year old son against me. Told him mommy was a liar and bad mommy. And that I was dating another man bevayse I didn't lone either of them anymore.

Then one day I came into the house to talk to him about this and he essentially stripped searched me for a wire recording device and groped me aggressively. Told me he hates me etc.

Then 24 hours later he was begging me back. Telling me he loved me and wanted us all back together. He has since continued to send me text messages of his naked body. And telling me he wants me. That I am so hot etc.

He tried tonight to rub my shoulders and commented about how great my [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] looked.

I am so cold to everything. He says he has found God and I clearly haven't.

I feel awful breaking up our family. But I think my ex is only After my money. I am the breadwinner. He asked to take me to dinner last week to talk about din. It was cold. And he made me pay.

What do I think? Could this ever really work agsin?

 

[bethrow]

No...it could never work again.
He's sick and twisted. Get things in order so that you get your son full time.
You are second guessing yourself and you shouldn't. He's an abuser.

 

[mommame2]

Well he does seem changed. He is def feeling very apologetic and dedicated to making us work. But I just can't seem to see him as a husband now. He seems pathetic to me. It's not that we had a great sex life or anything and now its a constant thing he texts etc.

He apologized and says he wants to move forward and is going to mass etc. But I just see him as creepy right now. And he says that's the devil in my heart. I hope it isn't.... This divirce has been a long time coming. But I have been so co dependant.

 

[mommame2]

My schedule is not good for a single mom. i make more than 6 figures and have a terrific career. But it requires work from 12:30 to 11pm at night m-f. It is not negotiable.

My question is: if you were me. Would you give up the job and career to spend more time with your child? Or use a nanny etc and bank $$$ as long as possible.

Or allow his dad to have him more often ?

 

[dayhiker]

I'd say there is a lot of growing up for both of you to do when it comes to understanding how a marriage relationship works. I really am having a hard time to say where to start.

But I think it would be good to start a new. As in have a date and then set aside time to talk about what each of you liked about the date and what each of you didn't like about the date. Maybe have a person there who is good at moderating. You both need someone who is good with relationships who you both trust to help you walk thru the land mine of your current emotions and desires and to be sure you child if feeling love and support from both of you.

 

[Annessa3]

is this going to be a rehash of this thread?
http://www.christianforums.com/t7843673/

 

[DZoolander]

^^^ that's my thought.

 

[bhsmte]

I've posted here before about my many marital problems. I finally got divorced a few months ago. Well my ex discovered I had a new friend and he freaked out. He told all of my co workers and our friends that I was essentially a heating harlot. He turned our 8 year old son against me. Told him mommy was a liar and bad mommy. And that I was dating another man bevayse I didn't lone either of them anymore.

Then one day I came into the house to talk to him about this and he essentially stripped searched me for a wire recording device and groped me aggressively. Told me he hates me etc.

Then 24 hours later he was begging me back. Telling me he loved me and wanted us all back together. He has since continued to send me text messages of his naked body. And telling me he wants me. That I am so hot etc.

He tried tonight to rub my shoulders and commented about how great my [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] looked.

I am so cold to everything. He says he has found God and I clearly haven't.

I feel awful breaking up our family. But I think my ex is only After my money. I am the breadwinner. He asked to take me to dinner last week to talk about din. It was cold. And he made me pay.

What do I think? Could this ever really work agsin?

Honestly, it sounds like your ex may have some psychological issues. I would be cautious.

 

[ValleyGal]

Do you want your son to turn out like his father? Leaving him under his custody is a concern...not only for the mental games he plays (lying to him about you, turning him against you, etc), but also for the disrespect he shows women in general. If you want your son to turn into your husband, then sure, share custody. If you want to break this really unhealthy cycle, though, call a social worker and find out how you can protect your son from that. Then see if any of your family can help out in the evenings, or hire someone to spend a few hours in the late afternoon/early evening with your son....whoever you hire could teach him how to cook, help with his homework, then make sure he gets to bed at a reasonable time, then go home. Iirc, your son is at an age where he can legally spend a few hours a day alone after school. Then you will have your weekends together and I really encourage you to spend a lot of quality time with him at every single opportunity. Seriously, you get this one shot at raising this one child.....invest in his best interest.

 

[findmydream]

I would be really careful about your ex's mental health. There are a few women in my DivorceCare group that have gone through husbands with mental health issues (paranoia, multiple personalities, severe mood swings for no reason etc). One woman has to watch her back constantly, even though her husband is hours away by car, this is what the police told her. He is that erratic (not to mention that he has a house full of guns that he has legally and hasn't done anything YET to have the police go after him). This switching from attacking you himself and through your son (which by the way is parental alienation and can be grounds - depending on where you are - to have all access removed), to being all sucky is NOT normal. Please be very careful around him. He is also stalking and harrassing you with these naked photos that he sends to you. Definitely get professional help and advice regarding this. Contact a women's shelter, they have tons of information on where to get help and how you should go about it. This guy could become violent very quickly and you don't want to be anywhere near him when he does!