Word of advice for brides to be about BC...
- Thread starter Sascha Fitzpatrick
- Start date
fruitrach
Senior Member
Please please pleeeeeeeeeeeeease all of you get the exam, even if you are convinced you are fine.
I didn't. I wish I had.
I've got vaginismus and our honeymoon was SO hard. We could have been so much better prepared had I just gone to a doctor or gynae beforehand. It might not have been fixed in time for the wedding night but at least we'd have had the right expectations.
If you go to the gynae and he tells you everything is fine, what have you lost? Nothing.
I didn't. I wish I had.
I've got vaginismus and our honeymoon was SO hard. We could have been so much better prepared had I just gone to a doctor or gynae beforehand. It might not have been fixed in time for the wedding night but at least we'd have had the right expectations.
If you go to the gynae and he tells you everything is fine, what have you lost? Nothing.
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There is nothing dirty about your body and finding out about the health of it. God gave you your body and you as a good steward of it, should take good care of it, all the parts, not just your heart and lungs and brain.
Going to get a gynocological exam isn't about sexuality or Christianity or purity, it is about responsiblity and wisdom about your own physical being. Do you go to the dentist? The eye doctor? Same thing! Happily, the exam will most likely tell you you are fine, but wouldn't you like to know that for sure, not based on your own assumption?
It isn't fun, but it seriously takes 5 minutes and is worth the peace of mind to know that your body is whole and healthy.
Going to get a gynocological exam isn't about sexuality or Christianity or purity, it is about responsiblity and wisdom about your own physical being. Do you go to the dentist? The eye doctor? Same thing! Happily, the exam will most likely tell you you are fine, but wouldn't you like to know that for sure, not based on your own assumption?
It isn't fun, but it seriously takes 5 minutes and is worth the peace of mind to know that your body is whole and healthy.
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Thank you girls for being so honest, and sharing these stories - you are all right!
Nothing irks me more than someone saying 'oh I'll be fine' and not doing something as simple as a physical. You've lost nothing if you come out fine, but I would easily take the 5 mins of discomfort if it meant I was more aware of my body. I learn SO much during my physical/paps, and I am so thankful to God...
From what I understand, the law in America states you MUST have a physical if you go in for any form of BC advice, so you probably won't be able to avoid it if you're planning to use BC when you're married... I know in Australia the first time I asked for BC, my doctor also gave me a physical... my mum had advised me to 'bear down' during the checkup, and I had no pain, and I credit the advice for that!
Seriously girls, one test - makes your life a LOT easier...
Sasch
Nothing irks me more than someone saying 'oh I'll be fine' and not doing something as simple as a physical. You've lost nothing if you come out fine, but I would easily take the 5 mins of discomfort if it meant I was more aware of my body. I learn SO much during my physical/paps, and I am so thankful to God...
From what I understand, the law in America states you MUST have a physical if you go in for any form of BC advice, so you probably won't be able to avoid it if you're planning to use BC when you're married... I know in Australia the first time I asked for BC, my doctor also gave me a physical... my mum had advised me to 'bear down' during the checkup, and I had no pain, and I credit the advice for that!
Seriously girls, one test - makes your life a LOT easier...
Sasch
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FaithfulServant
The Lord directs my steps
Sorry, I don't think American law states that b/c I'm on BC (not for sexual reasons or anything) and I've never had the exam.
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Singin4Him
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Yeah you don't need an exam to get BC, look at Planned Parenthood. However, you REALLY do need to get an exam before you are married. Many women have problems on their honeymoon as was stated above because they did not get an exam. If you have never had one it is very important to get one after you're 18 even if you're not planning on getting married in the near future. My gyno gave me some great advice just before I got married that I would have otherwise never knew. Please consider it, don't let fear or anything else stop you from going.
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FaithfulServant
The Lord directs my steps
Oh yeah, I forgot aboutr PLanned Parenthood, I think there they hand out morning after pills and birth control for free practically.
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PurpleBunny
Rabid Purple Bunny of the Apocalypse
There are a lot of medical problems you can have that don't have symptoms until treatment is much more difficult; I think that is really the main reason that Sascha is advocating that everyone go for their annual checkup (I'm bad... I've never gone either even though I've been trying to work up to it for almost a year... got this phobia of strangers but I'll get there by March at the latest, I think...). Certain cancers such as cervical cancer can get caught when they're still early enough to be treated with minimal risks to your health & fertility (Sascha, correct me if I'm wrong), and if they aren't caught early you could end up sterile or dead... so it's worth a few minutes of discomfort once a year to go and get checked!
Just my $0.02!
Just my $0.02!
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Purple Bunny - you're correct... you can save yourself a lot of problems just by going early if you notice anything 'off' - even if you don't, having a doctor with you to help explain your anatomy is a good thing - I advise every girl on here to at least go to get familiar with your body!
There's nothing wrong with getting a check up - and there's nothing wrong with you for being afraid. Just don't put things off that are necessary just cos you're 'scared'.
A lot of Christians have this somewhat warped idea that because they're monogamous, or virgins, or only been with one person their whole lives, means they're 'safe' from infections, abnormal cell changes, etc.
NAH-UH!!!
The number of girls I have heard of who got a bladder infection over their honeymoons because of not knowing enough about the physiology of sexual intercourse, the number of virgins I know of that had abnormal cells - just because you are a Christian and do the right thing does NOT mean you stay 'clean' from normal issues everybody has with their physiology.
Get yourself checked, and get to know that part of your body - seriously, forearmed is forewarned!
Sasch
There's nothing wrong with getting a check up - and there's nothing wrong with you for being afraid. Just don't put things off that are necessary just cos you're 'scared'.
A lot of Christians have this somewhat warped idea that because they're monogamous, or virgins, or only been with one person their whole lives, means they're 'safe' from infections, abnormal cell changes, etc.
NAH-UH!!!
The number of girls I have heard of who got a bladder infection over their honeymoons because of not knowing enough about the physiology of sexual intercourse, the number of virgins I know of that had abnormal cells - just because you are a Christian and do the right thing does NOT mean you stay 'clean' from normal issues everybody has with their physiology.
Get yourself checked, and get to know that part of your body - seriously, forearmed is forewarned!
Sasch
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sculpturegirl
Well-Known Member
What is vaginismus ?
I think that Christians need to really consider all the factors when determining BC methods. I think that we as a culture have so readily accepted the Pill, that not many people really consider any other options. After much consideration, FH and I have decided to use NFP and condoms on our very fertile days. I think that it is wise to give your body many months before taking the Pill. A LOT of girls have negative reactions and many have very emotional reactions (think PMS). You don't want to deal with that on your honeymoon. I would much rather deal with the condom issue.
Some friends of mine have written a very thoughtful book on the subject. You can find it here: www.openembrace.com
I think that Christians need to really consider all the factors when determining BC methods. I think that we as a culture have so readily accepted the Pill, that not many people really consider any other options. After much consideration, FH and I have decided to use NFP and condoms on our very fertile days. I think that it is wise to give your body many months before taking the Pill. A LOT of girls have negative reactions and many have very emotional reactions (think PMS). You don't want to deal with that on your honeymoon. I would much rather deal with the condom issue.
Some friends of mine have written a very thoughtful book on the subject. You can find it here: www.openembrace.com
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Vaginismus is a relatively rare, yet highly debilitating female sexual dysfunction. Vaginismus can be defined as an involuntary spasm of the muscles surrounding the vaginal opening. This muscular contraction makes any attempt at vaginal penetration either extremely painful, or all together impossible. Although intercourse becomes impossible, women who suffer from vaginismus are capable of becoming sexually aroused, achieving lubrication, and even [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] through alternative stimulation.
Vaginismus must be further classified as either primary or secondary vaginismus. Primary vaginismus refers to cases where the effected woman has never been able to have intercourse with penetration due to the involuntary contractions of her vaginal muscles. Primary vaginismus is sometimes referred to as the "unconsummated marriage". A diagnosis of secondary vaginismus refers to a woman who was able to experience intercourse at one time, but is no longer able to be penetrated, due to the involuntary muscle spasms.
The first step for any woman who suspects she has vaginismus is to schedule a full pelvic examination with her gynecologist in order to rule out a physical cause. Ruling out any physical causes, vaginismus is most often conceptualized as a psychosomatic disorder, a physical manifestation of some deeper psychological cause. There are several theories as to what those psychological causes are, but most center around three primary issues: control issues within the relationship, past sexual trauma, or a conditioned association of pain/fear with vaginal penetration (a phobic reaction to the thought of penetration). (http://www.umkc.edu/sites/hsw/issues/vaginis.html)
And I agree with you there sculpturegirl - it is too easy sometimes. I'm on it for reasons other than birth control, is it's the only thing that has worked to help regulate my cycle, so I'm hesitant to go off it once married. I have NOTHING against the other forms of birth control, if people wish to use it and it is working for them. I've heard too many bad things about the shot and the implant and the ring, so I'm not planning on using them, and NFP by itself is not something my BF is comfortable on being fully reliant on. I'm willing to stay on the BCP for contraceptive uses for his sake, provided we use temperature monitoring at the same time.
Sasch
Vaginismus must be further classified as either primary or secondary vaginismus. Primary vaginismus refers to cases where the effected woman has never been able to have intercourse with penetration due to the involuntary contractions of her vaginal muscles. Primary vaginismus is sometimes referred to as the "unconsummated marriage". A diagnosis of secondary vaginismus refers to a woman who was able to experience intercourse at one time, but is no longer able to be penetrated, due to the involuntary muscle spasms.
The first step for any woman who suspects she has vaginismus is to schedule a full pelvic examination with her gynecologist in order to rule out a physical cause. Ruling out any physical causes, vaginismus is most often conceptualized as a psychosomatic disorder, a physical manifestation of some deeper psychological cause. There are several theories as to what those psychological causes are, but most center around three primary issues: control issues within the relationship, past sexual trauma, or a conditioned association of pain/fear with vaginal penetration (a phobic reaction to the thought of penetration). (http://www.umkc.edu/sites/hsw/issues/vaginis.html)
And I agree with you there sculpturegirl - it is too easy sometimes. I'm on it for reasons other than birth control, is it's the only thing that has worked to help regulate my cycle, so I'm hesitant to go off it once married. I have NOTHING against the other forms of birth control, if people wish to use it and it is working for them. I've heard too many bad things about the shot and the implant and the ring, so I'm not planning on using them, and NFP by itself is not something my BF is comfortable on being fully reliant on. I'm willing to stay on the BCP for contraceptive uses for his sake, provided we use temperature monitoring at the same time.
Sasch
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sculpturegirl
Well-Known Member
The Couple to Couple league claim that NFP is much more reliable than people think; except that it takes commitment on both parties. Anyhow, their website is quite worth checking out: http://www.ccli.org/ http://www.ccl.org
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