Women with revealing clothing in Church -My problem

[umaro55]

Well, I'm sure there has been a thread about this before, but this is more specific to my problems with it.

I can't help but look. It's part of my makeup as a man to look whenever a woman wearing revealing clothes bends over, reveals too much, and on and on. I can't help myself, it's very compelling.

The Sunday before last there was a girl in front of me wearing a very revealing dress, and she was bending over right in front of me every 2-3 minutes, it was very distracting to the sermon.

Who is in the wrong? Me for looking, or her for wearing the revealing clothing? I suppose we are both in the wrong, but can anyone relate?

And, don't you think women should have the decency to cover up, at the very least cover it up in the house of God?

 

[SherwinChong]

Well there's a part of you being wrong, thats what i can say. I know its very distracting of having such acts happened especially right infront of you. But remember one who can resist temptation will not fall into satan's trap, but one who does not will fail to obey God's command and fall into Satan's trap. There's always temptation all over the place, once you are careless or not careful, you will fail to resist from temptation or even like what you are going through, the lustful thoughts thats is coming on in you mind.

 

[Jesusong]

I would add that I feel both of you were wrong but the burden was more upon you than her in the instance that you could have moved to prevent yourself from being in this situation and causing your own distraction and inevitable frustration. I'm not putting you down cause I can find myself very easily in that situation (maybe not in church but elswhere) and I don't always follow my own advice. But using this as hindsight (which is always 20/20), we can learn from this encounter and move on from here.

 

[FrankFaith]

I realize that this may sound rather unsympathetic, but I'm a guy so it isn't. Here's some Truth...

When you say that you can't help it, you're just plain wrong. That's like saying that God hasn't provided healing for you, after you judge based upon your brokenness, that you are not healed! The Truth here is that you CAN help it--you just didn't. *Make your own deductions in reference to healing, but NO TEMPTATION HAS SEIZED YOU EXCEPT THAT WHICH IS COMMON TO MAN--AND GOD IS FAITHFUL (AS OPPOSED TO US), HE WILL PROVIDE A WAY OUT SO THAT YOU CAN STAND UP UNDER IT.

 

[whitedove7]

Women in general need to be careful what to wear so that it doesn't cause a problem for men.

 

[KleinerApfel]

There are limits, and some current fashions among young girls leave almost nothing to the imagination.

I do feel sorry for you guys when you're in the "firing line" I have to say. After all, a church should be a place where you get a little break from the pressures of temptation that surround you at work and play. Is that so unreasonable?

Christian men need to control their urges, yes, and in general they do so admirably, but it must be difficult. Why should we make it tougher for them than it has to be?

Maybe we mothers need to explain to our daughters that it's pretty tactless to flaunt pretty much everything they've got.

Maybe churches need to mention decency and consideration for others in this area as a general theme occasionally.

Maybe an older woman at church could sensitively suggest in private to a girl that's going over the top, that certain attire showing a lot of cleavage, belly or rear, (are we allowed to say those words?!:o ), might be inappropriate for church.

Maybe I'm a prudish old fuddy-duddy, but I'll stick my neck out and say I think it's unfair for girls to "display" their bodies insensitively.

God bless you guys,
love Sue

(Ducking now!)

 

[FireOfGod]

I think you are both in the wrong here... Her for wearing revealing things that will get guys attention, and you being a guy that just "has" to look. That isn't yours to look at, but it is hers to show off. But just because she shows it off doesn't mean that you have to look. Sure, it may be hard not to, but, oh well.

As hard as it may seem, get some self-control and tame yourself. If she won't, you be the man, and you do it. Women have a tendancy to be a little stupid and just wear whatever they think is cute... It's her fault too.

 

[umaro55]

Well, thanks to Sue for actually responding to all of my questions. Up until that point, I felt like it was ignored, and instead I was placed solely to blame for looking.

Anyway, I understand what I did was wrong, and I accept that responsibility. But, I also think she should have decency enough not to wear those kinds of clothes to church in the future.

Actually, it seems in my church most of the girls wear whatever they want, and it pretty much goes un-noticed and un-addressed. The pastor has said to dress appropriately to church a couple of times before, but apparently he has been mostly ignored.

 

[Tranceformer110]

There are limits, and some current fashions among young girls leave almost nothing to the imagination.

I do feel sorry for you guys when you're in the "firing line" I have to say. After all, a church should be a place where you get a little break from the pressures of temptation that surround you at work and play. Is that so unreasonable?

Christian men need to control their urges, yes, and in general they do so admirably, but it must be difficult. Why should we make it tougher for them than it has to be?

Maybe we mothers need to explain to our daughters that it's pretty tactless to flaunt pretty much everything they've got.

Maybe churches need to mention decency and consideration for others in this area as a general theme occasionally.

Maybe an older woman at church could sensitively suggest in private to a girl that's going over the top, that certain attire showing a lot of cleavage, belly or rear, (are we allowed to say those words?!:o ), might be inappropriate for church.

Maybe I'm a prudish old fuddy-duddy, but I'll stick my neck out and say I think it's unfair for girls to "display" their bodies insensitively.

God bless you guys,
love Sue

(Ducking now!)

I wished that would've happened in my church. I dated a girl there who dressed revealing and didn't see a problem with it(I don't dare tell a woman how to dress...very touchy issue).

 

[sharedtears]

Maybe you should bring this topic up to your Pastor. We are called to modesty, and they need to be taught, I think it's in 1 Timothy.

 

[jehovahjireh2007]

I think you were both in the wrong: you for looking and her for wearing revealing clothing. I think that women should cover up, especially in church. The world wears revealing clothing and it says in the Bible that women should dress decently.

Derbystudent

 

[sharedtears]

Timothy 2:9

We are called to modesty. We are also not to be a stumbling block to others. I hope that helps.

 

[enoch son]

The Preacher He Must Have Been Un-anoited And Boring!

 

[SharonL]

Hey looking is not a sin unless you have lustfull thoughts to go with it.

God made beautiful people.

If she wants to think so little of herself to show it all off - Don't blame the men for looking - I'm a woman and I would look - out of curosity to see how she prances herself for people to look. Women know when they are a distraction - that is why they dress that way. Men are human - they look.

Women who are inclined to draw attention to themself in this manner are just short on self esteem and are trying to prove something to themselves that they are acceptable.

Don't lay guilt on men for looking. The only time they will not look is when they are laying horizonal in a box ready to be dropped in a 6 foot hole.

 

[Henry Ross]

I realize that this may sound rather unsympathetic, but I'm a guy so it isn't. Here's some Truth...

When you say that you can't help it, you're just plain wrong. That's like saying that God hasn't provided healing for you, after you judge based upon your brokenness, that you are not healed! The Truth here is that you CAN help it--you just didn't. *Make your own deductions in reference to healing, but NO TEMPTATION HAS SEIZED YOU EXCEPT THAT WHICH IS COMMON TO MAN--AND GOD IS FAITHFUL (AS OPPOSED TO US), HE WILL PROVIDE A WAY OUT SO THAT YOU CAN STAND UP UNDER IT.

Well could Youth and hormones make it a bit harder.
I say cover up girls it can even be a distracton to a pastor.

 

[Henry Ross]

Hey looking is not a sin unless you have lustfull thoughts to go with it.

God made beautiful people.

If she wants to think so little of herself to show it all off - Don't blame the men for looking - I'm a woman and I would look - out of curosity to see how she prances herself for people to look. Women know when they are a distraction - that is why they dress that way. Men are human - they look.

Women who are inclined to draw attention to themself in this manner are just short on self esteem and are trying to prove something to themselves that they are acceptable.

Don't lay guilt on men for looking. The only time they will not look is when they are laying horizonal in a box ready to be dropped in a 6 foot hole.

Amen Sister!

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

I am a 14 year old girl and just want to express how I feel:

I feel that first this is something that should be addressed more in churches if not. I am just going to say some things I learn from my pastors at church it has been preached before.

1) I understand that you are guys and some tend to do that sometimes but it's up to you to pray to God that you won't think like that and it is possible not to it's something you have to work on.

2) Far as girls you should be wearing things like that in or out of church, you do not need to be revealing to make youself think you are pretty, know that you are God made you and you don't need to show anything to prove it. God says to dress modley and you should cover yourselfs up.

3) I also feel that it's unfair for a girl to show herself in that matter it's just not right it's uncalled for and inapporiate. Guys also need to ask God to control their minds and heart b/c he can and will. Have not b/c sometimes we ask not.

Also if you are having a problem with the way some of the girls dress I am sure some others do to. and just speak up about it. Maybe talk about havving sheets in the church to give to people who need them. If someone was to walk into church like that I would give them a shett to put over them or across their lap

Sorry gotta gonwill finish later

 

[New_Wineskin]

Anyway, I understand what I did was wrong, and I accept that responsibility. But, I also think she should have ...

Couldn't end with the first sentence which deals with you ? Had to have a "but" to point to someone else ? "I did this but they made me ." Of course , that is the point in threads such as these . It is to say that others *should* this or *must* that .

The pastor has said to dress appropriately to church a couple of times before, but apparently he has been mostly ignored.

Did this pastor say to dress appropriately according to *your* specifications or to another set of specifics ? If the "pastor" simply stated to dress appropriately without specifics , then it would be between the individual and the Lord as to what was appropriate or not .

What is considered to be "revealing" changes . How about forcing all women to wear robes , veils , and headscarves ? Also , make sure that they are in the back of the meetiing place and the males in front . For some males , that would still be too revealing .

 

[KleinerApfel]

Also if you are having a problem with the way some of the girls dress I am sure some others do to. and just speak up about it. Maybe talk about havving sheets in the church to give to people who need them. If someone was to walk into church like that I would give them a shett to put over them or across their lap

Wise post for your age sis!

Do any churches actually do this - sheets?! Wow, that'd stop a girl coming back dressed inappropriately! LOL!
Hmm, might work though.

God bless, love Sue

 

[Godslilgurlalways]

Wise post for your age sis!

Do any churches actually do this - sheets?! Wow, that'd stop a girl coming back dressed inappropriately! LOL!
Hmm, might work though.

God bless, love Sue

Yes , we have them mostly for when people get slain in the spirit sorry gotta go will finish later