Why do I go through these cycles, falling into the same old traps?

[Galadriel]

Good to hear Lauren!
How are you doing? Were you able to put some of it down? It is very hard to do, but you will not regret it. Keep updated!

 

[TheMainException]

Actually....I'm still listening to all the stuff that I was. But on Tuesday I talked with my best friend, my youth pastor, and we talked through some stuff and I realized that I had been really angry with myself and had some forgiving to do....so I am beginning to forgive myself and haven't been in that low place since Tuesday...almost a week....so, I'm doing alright....I also found out that I get very anxious when I don't sleep. And around the same time that I had begun to listen to MCR and The Blood Brothers, I began to sleep less than 6 hours a night....and I'm used to about 8 or 9...which is great for me....but then I started going to bed around midnight and waking up many times during the night and waking up real early because the anxiety began to build...and with each night it got worse and worse until sleep was something that I dreamt about in the few hours I managed to collect during the night. And each night I spent those restless hours listening to MCR and the Blood Brothers....the first made me depressed and the second made me angry....both emotions that I felt before....the music just magnified it into something that I was beginning to totally lose control of. I still don't sleep as much as I should, cause lack of sleep and this music is a good feeling....but I do catch up on weekends....during the week I go to bed late, but on weekends I sleep a whole heck of a lot...so, it all evens itself out...I'm doing alright....just please pray for my friend.....he's not doing so good....really struggling with some depression issues and roommate stuff....keep him in your prayers now instead of me....thank you, Lauren

 

[BlackRain]

just because you're feeling better doesn't mean you shouldn't throw that stuff out. but it is good that you've been talking to people and you're finding out the cause of all that's been going on.