I haven't posted in awhile but lately I feel like I've been hurting. I went through some emotional and psychological problems during a long duration. My life hasn't exactly become what I hoped it to be. I have been trying my best to look at things positively and most of the time I have been trying all I can to work my best in order to fix my life and put things back on track and get my life together. I am actually quite content at most parts. However, the pain that has been hurting me so much is when my own immediate family is judgemental of my own life. Even if they don't say as much right now. Sometimes just the things they say or do, I can tell they are extremely disappointed with me. They constantly compare me to my siblings and as much as I try to ignore it, it hurts. I try as much not to think so negatively, but they constantly remind me how much of a fail I am even if I am already doing something to get my life back on track. I don't know what they have been saying, but I feel they have also spread by word of mouth about me to my outer family. It hurts so much when the people who is suppose to love you all the way continues to look down on you even when you are doing something already, they continue to judge you and just not understand. I am trying my best to think positively and work towards the future but sometimes it gets so hard for me whenever my own family looks down on me in such a way. It hurts.
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Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
When your own family looks down on you, it hurts
- Thread starter kc990
- Start date
Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. You're right, it does hurt when family members aren't there to support you. But God is with you always. I know it sounds cliche but it's true. God is omnipresent, there's no where you can go that He isn't there. He promises to be with us always. Though it doesn't feel like it during the hard times, that's often when God is working in our lives the most.
Do you say anything when they compare you to your siblings? What if you asked them "Why do you compare me to my siblings? We are unique and different, we will never be the same, so why do you expect me to be the same?"
When nothing seems to be working, and all else fails I pray. Pray for help from God and to give you strength and endurance to get through it. Pray for wisdom. Pray for your family to be less judgmental and critical of you. Sometimes when we pray for those who are hurting us that can help you deal with it. It's hard and takes time, but over time it will begin to help you deal with it.
Anyway, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.
Do you say anything when they compare you to your siblings? What if you asked them "Why do you compare me to my siblings? We are unique and different, we will never be the same, so why do you expect me to be the same?"
When nothing seems to be working, and all else fails I pray. Pray for help from God and to give you strength and endurance to get through it. Pray for wisdom. Pray for your family to be less judgmental and critical of you. Sometimes when we pray for those who are hurting us that can help you deal with it. It's hard and takes time, but over time it will begin to help you deal with it.
Anyway, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.
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It saddens me to read your post. It is truly the worst when the people that are supposed to be closest to you are the ones hurting you the most. I am terribly sorry for what you must go through.
I will pray for you.
God bless,
- Chris G
I will pray for you.
God bless,
- Chris G
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I'm sorry that's happening to you, sweetie 
Those who are closest to us can hurt us most.
Remember what God says about you, though, because that is the truth, not what your family may say or think
Praying for you.
Those who are closest to us can hurt us most.Remember what God says about you, though, because that is the truth, not what your family may say or think
Praying for you.
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nathanielb1984
Member
Dear Sister-in-Christ,
First off I am sorry that you underwent through psychological & emotional drawbacks, let me remind you that this is almost a standard add-on to our life. Our life rarely comes out as planned, you see, in my country we say "you plan, & God dispenses". What I am trying to say is that we need to pass through certain episodes in our life, for our own good. I am no stranger to psychological and emotional abuse, and I can understand that it's much worse than getting your head kicked in. In my case I needed to undergo such experiences so that it makes me stronger and so as to get me closer to God. In your case, I don't know why, but the "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" part is also a pretty standard add-on. Unfortunately the judgement of our immediate family will always hurt a hundred times more than a judgement from a stranger. We expect full co-operation, love, care, affection and understanding, and we end up having to settle for boorish judgement, jumping to quick conclusions and lack of support. However it rarely is the case that such a behaviour is out of despise, infact most of the times it's out of love. Tough love mostly, Our parents will always want us to be the absolute best in the world in anything we do, and at times, most of the times they also want to dictate what we do. You are saying that they compare you to your siblings, and let me tell you, I know, it hurts like dropping a bucketful of acid on an open wound, they do the same with me, even if I only had 10% of the chances and opportunities that my brothers had. What's important is that you keep on doing all the good things in order to get your life back on tracks, you have nothing to prove to anyone, but once you'll get to where you want to in life, you'll definitely observe a change in behaviour. You feel that there has been a spillover into your outer family, because you are kind of "paranoid". You'll get thoughts such as, "My parents are so disappointed that they talked to aunt x, and now they are judging me as well".
The essential truth hers is that you realise the following:
A/ Regardless of what ANYONE thinks or says, no-one has a right to derail your life.
B/ Keep on doing all the good stuff that you are doing
C/ Never ever give up, even though you feel ever so close, don't do it. It sure is not worth it, trust me.
D/ Understand that your parents' reactions are actually a form of misinterpreted love.
E/ Pray to the almighty, he'll help you, you'll see.
Would you like us to pray together?
+
Heavenly Father,
Today we ask your divine assistance to help our sister in Christ, who is facing issues with her family. Quell the judgements about her and allow her to see the love that her family is showing towards her. Oh King of Kings, illuminate her to find the best possible choices and be her architect for her new life plans. Be her guide to happiness and protect her from all evil.
We ask this, in Jesus Christ our lord,
Amen
+
I wish you all the best and may the Lord shower you with blessings,
Nat
First off I am sorry that you underwent through psychological & emotional drawbacks, let me remind you that this is almost a standard add-on to our life. Our life rarely comes out as planned, you see, in my country we say "you plan, & God dispenses". What I am trying to say is that we need to pass through certain episodes in our life, for our own good. I am no stranger to psychological and emotional abuse, and I can understand that it's much worse than getting your head kicked in. In my case I needed to undergo such experiences so that it makes me stronger and so as to get me closer to God. In your case, I don't know why, but the "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" part is also a pretty standard add-on. Unfortunately the judgement of our immediate family will always hurt a hundred times more than a judgement from a stranger. We expect full co-operation, love, care, affection and understanding, and we end up having to settle for boorish judgement, jumping to quick conclusions and lack of support. However it rarely is the case that such a behaviour is out of despise, infact most of the times it's out of love. Tough love mostly, Our parents will always want us to be the absolute best in the world in anything we do, and at times, most of the times they also want to dictate what we do. You are saying that they compare you to your siblings, and let me tell you, I know, it hurts like dropping a bucketful of acid on an open wound, they do the same with me, even if I only had 10% of the chances and opportunities that my brothers had. What's important is that you keep on doing all the good things in order to get your life back on tracks, you have nothing to prove to anyone, but once you'll get to where you want to in life, you'll definitely observe a change in behaviour. You feel that there has been a spillover into your outer family, because you are kind of "paranoid". You'll get thoughts such as, "My parents are so disappointed that they talked to aunt x, and now they are judging me as well".
The essential truth hers is that you realise the following:
A/ Regardless of what ANYONE thinks or says, no-one has a right to derail your life.
B/ Keep on doing all the good stuff that you are doing
C/ Never ever give up, even though you feel ever so close, don't do it. It sure is not worth it, trust me.
D/ Understand that your parents' reactions are actually a form of misinterpreted love.
E/ Pray to the almighty, he'll help you, you'll see.
Would you like us to pray together?
+
Heavenly Father,
Today we ask your divine assistance to help our sister in Christ, who is facing issues with her family. Quell the judgements about her and allow her to see the love that her family is showing towards her. Oh King of Kings, illuminate her to find the best possible choices and be her architect for her new life plans. Be her guide to happiness and protect her from all evil.
We ask this, in Jesus Christ our lord,
Amen
+
I wish you all the best and may the Lord shower you with blessings,
Nat
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miss-a
Newbie
Even though they are family, sometimes for our own good, we need to limit contact with them. When you know you are going to see them, pray first for protection, and also find a scripture verse that tells you what the Lord thinks of you. Write it down and carry it with you. Read it often and pray to believe it. Have it with you when you see your family. That way you can run off to the bathroom or some private place and read it to remind yourself of who you really are, God's precious girl who is healing.
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That's sad when you're family treats you like that. But you don't need their approval. Only God's approval counts and God loves you and is proud of you. I'll be praying for you.
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