IF CF WAS A FAIRY TALE
As William sleeps in the Castle’s Great Hall, he is awakened by footsteps and incessant chatter.
“You tell him.”
“No, you tell him”
“Youre better at talking to people than I am”
“Yeah, but you have an honest face.”
“Well, youre the one who told me”. There was a long pause. “Ok, I will tell him.”
A hand gently shook William’s shoulder. William turned over quickly, dagger in hand, ready defend or to inflict a killing blow. The jester, MehGuy, stood beside his bedroll. “What do you want?”, William asked.
“Clucky wanted me to tell you that the beast Toro must return to the Dark Mists every morning. It is how Queen Messy controls him”, MehGuy replied.
“How do you know this?”, William asked.
“A friend of Clucky’s told him last night while Clucky was chatting up a couple of cocktail waitresses at the local tavern”, he said.
The next morning, William informed the King and Princess what MehGuy had said.
“Oh, you can trust Clucky. He helped me break my coffee addiction”, the Princess said, “He is the smart one”.
“Ummmmm Oooookay. Where can I find the Dark Mists?”, William asked.
“No one knows for sure”, replied the King, “But the only one who knows for sure is the Orange Goblin. And to reach him, you must cross the Plain of Serpents”.
“Where is that located?”, William asked.
After writing down the directions, William and his trusty steed Mojo set off to find the Orange Goblin. After three days travel, they were approaching the edge of the Gosling Forest.
“I wouldn’t go that way if I were you”, a voice called out.
“Who said that?”, William asked.
“I did”
“Where are you?”, William inquired politely.
“Over here, beside the lake”, the voice replied.
“WOW! Would you look at that”, Mojo the talking horse exclaimed. “A talking chicken”. Irony was lost upon Mojo.
“I AM NOT A CHICKEN!”, replied the voice. “I am a swan. Swan number seven”.
“What is your name?”, William asked.
“Swan7. Duh!”, Swan7 retorted.
“Is that your real name?”, William asked.
“Well, actually my full name is Swan7of 9, Tertiary Adjunct of Uninest Zero-One, but you can call me Swan7”.
“Ok, Swan7. Why shouldn’t we go this way?”, William asked.
“Because that way leads to the Plain of Serpents”, Swan7 replied.
“But we want to go that way. We must see the Orange Goblin so we can find out how to get to the Dark Mists”, William said.
“Are you out of your cotton-picking minds?”, Swan7 asked.
“Most definitely,” said Mojo.
“Hmmm. Is there room on your donkey for me?”, asked Swan7.
“I aint no donkey. Do I look like Eddie Murphy?” Mojo spat out.
“Sure, the more the merrier”, William said.
“Speak for yourself, Billy boy. It aint your back”, Mojo complained.
To be continued...