What Is a Gentleman?

[AwedbyTruth]

Cardinal Newman said, "A gentleman is one who never inflicts pain."
What would you consider the qualifications for being a gentleman? Do you think being a gentleman is encouraged or relevant today?

 

[epiclesis]

I encourage it, personally

 

[AwedbyTruth]

Lol. So do I, but does society encourage it?
Also, I have been to the south (in America) and have found that the only qualification for being a gentleman is opening the door for a lady.

 

[Rhamiel]

To be respectful of those who deserve respect, and courtious and kind to those who try and fail, and to be blunt to those who neither deserve respect or even try

 

[Davidnic]

St. Joseph.

Seriously. A model for good male behavior all around.

 

[Rhamiel]

AbT

Lol. So do I, but does society encourage it?

No, all our society encourages is greed and ruthlessness. "What can I take from you" "How can I get what I want from you" that is all I hear from others, and far to often that is what I hear from myself

 

[geocajun]

A gentlemen is someone who goes out of their way to ensure the comfort of others.

 

[Tigg]

To be respectful of those who deserve respect, and courtious and kind to those who try and fail, and to be blunt to those who neither deserve respect or even try

Nice. I like that.

I always think of Kipling. I know - a man- but seems to cover gentlemen as well to me.

"If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting; Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or, being hated, don't give way to hating; And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think- and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, And stoop and build 'em up without wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings- nor lose the common touch; If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run- Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And -which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!"
-- Rudyard Kipling

 

[Rhamiel]

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

I am hurt far to easily

 

[AwedbyTruth]

Nice. I like that.

I always think of Kipling. I know - a man- but seems to cover gentlemen as well to me.

"If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting; Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or, being hated, don't give way to hating; And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think- and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, And stoop and build 'em up without wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings- nor lose the common touch; If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run- Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And -which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!"
-- Rudyard Kipling

I really like this!

 

[isabella1]

Nice. I like that.

I always think of Kipling. I know - a man- but seems to cover gentlemen as well to me.

"If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting; Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or, being hated, don't give way to hating; And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think- and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, And stoop and build 'em up without wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings- nor lose the common touch; If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run- Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And -which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!"
-- Rudyard Kipling

WOW! I like this! It looks like a good map, to use as a goal for becoming a gentleman, and would appear to take a lifetime to achieve. I wonder if there is something written like this for a woman. I'm afraid to find out, LOL. Peace and Blessings.

 

[colleen]

I do think it's very relative to the world today, but not necessarily encouraged. One thing that I love about Aaron's mom is that according to him she always encouraged Aaron or his Dad to open the door for her (or at least I think he told me that). I think parents play a big role in how important children find it is to be a lady or a gentleman.

Aaron opens doors for me, walks on the street side of the sidewalk, takes my feelings into account, and was and is ready to provide for me. Okay, I have more but I have to leave at the moment. I'll add more later.

 

[Cosmic Charlie]

A gentlemen is someone who goes out of their way to ensure the comfort of others.

Would you like a pillow geo ?

 

[Tigg]

WOW! I like this! It looks like a good map, to use as a goal for becoming a gentleman, and would appear to take a lifetime to achieve. I wonder if there is something written like this for a woman. I'm afraid to find out, LOL. Peace and Blessings.

It probably does take a life time. The falling down and getting back up - a positive trait. I believe the traits Kipling gives for a man can apply as well for a woman. Anything good is worth striving for. That which is evil is generally easy, IMO.

I do believe that men have been under attack for a number of years if not decades. It has become, for me, that I have to stand up for men. I rarely kid anymore about men as I once used to. Society and woman generally has made being a man (and horrors if they are gentlemen) difficult to say the least. I toast those men who make it through to be men and gentlemen in today's world. How many teens have asked me what they should do - open the door for a woman or not. Damned if they do and damned if they don't. Downright sad...

 

[isabella1]

It probably does take a life time. The falling down and getting back up - a positive trait. I believe the traits Kipling gives for a man can apply as well for a woman. Anything good is worth striving for. That which is evil is generally easy, IMO.

I do believe that men have been under attack for a number of years if not decades. It has become, for me, that I have to stand up for men. I rarely kid anymore about men as I once used to. Society and woman generally has made being a man (and horrors if they are gentlemen) difficult to say the least. I toast those men who make it through to be men and gentlemen in today's world. How many teens have asked me what they should do - open the door for a woman or not. Damned if they do and damned if they don't. Downright sad...

I agree totally! I just posted a prayer in the OBOB about a week ago "A prayer for Men of Faith". It was so heavy on my heart to pray for our men, they really need our prayers, support and respect. Peace and Blessings.

 

[colleen]

I also wanted to add that a gentleman speaks and acts appropriately around ladies. He guards his speech.

I don't know how to completely describe a gentleman, but I know that Aaron brings one to mind immediately. I think he shows on here when he sticks up for what is important, but refuses to get in petty fights. He genuinely cares about the people here, and is always willing to offer up a prayer. Etc.

In my mind a gentleman lives his life for God first, and everything else is an extension of that relationship.

 

[AwedbyTruth]

I think that a gentleman lives out his vocation as a man in such a way that makes everyone around them want to live out their vocation and even (to some extent) know how to based on the gentleman's actions.

 

[Aaron-Aggie]

I do think it's very relative to the world today, but not necessarily encouraged. One thing that I love about Aaron's mom is that according to him she always encouraged Aaron or his Dad to open the door for her (or at least I think he told me that). I think parents play a big role in how important children find it is to be a lady or a gentleman.

Aaron opens doors for me, walks on the street side of the sidewalk, takes my feelings into account, and was and is ready to provide for me. Okay, I have more but I have to leave at the moment. I'll add more later.

more she won't open it her self

 

[Aaron-Aggie]

Good thread

 

[Romans 13:3]

I believe an gentleman does not necessarily have to always be a gentle man. I agree with many of the qualities discussed but would add that a true gentleman is willing to defend what is right and what he truly believes in, i.e. God, country and family. While a gentleman should endeavor to never harm anyone, he must also be willing to prevent the harm of others.