Waiting For Kissing

[trentlogain2]

can you imagine someone who does wait until engagement or marriage for these type of things? (i'm celibate bias) but i wouldnt want to picture the explosion of intimacy between two people after waiting that long. that's stuff that doesn't make good for PDoA. (public displays of affection)

 

[Scottish Knight]

Personally, I would probably end the relationship before it got too far. Because, as much as people want to hold on to their 'no kissing' thing, as you get closer to each other in the relationship, you tend to get more personal and have the possibility for intimacy.

So this leaves you with two options:

-The guy agrees to wait, despite both of you wanting to really get intimate by kissing, etc. This will eventually put strain on the relationship, IMO.

- The girl gives in and kisses the guy, and then there is the guilt of breaking your own moral standards.

I would personally just avoid that situation altogether by dating someone who is willing to kiss or whatever, but not break the sex threshold.

Or what about the guy realising he loves this woman and decides he can't wait and so proposes?

If someone can't wait but doesn't feel ready to propose it's lust not love

 

[Touma]

Or what about the guy realising he loves this woman and decides he can't wait and so proposes?

If someone can't wait but doesn't feel ready to propose it's lust not love

I don't think it is lust to say I like you enough to kiss you, but not enough to spend the rest of my life with you. I think that is reasonable, but to each their own.

 

[William II]

She had better make up for it with a lot of awesome back rubs.

I like kissing.

 

[DandelionsInTheRain]

I wouldn't want to kiss someone who didn't want to spend the rest of their life with me.

 

[Rose of Eden]

Personally, I would probably end the relationship before it got too far. Because, as much as people want to hold on to their 'no kissing' thing, as you get closer to each other in the relationship, you tend to get more personal and have the possibility for intimacy.

So this leaves you with two options:

-The guy agrees to wait, despite both of you wanting to really get intimate by kissing, etc. This will eventually put strain on the relationship, IMO.

- The girl gives in and kisses the guy, and then there is the guilt of breaking your own moral standards.

I would personally just avoid that situation altogether by dating someone who is willing to kiss or whatever, but not break the sex threshold.

Now Thomas, we are friends and you know me very well. (Better than anyone else on this forum, in fact.) So you know that in responding with what I'm about to say, I am meaning no harm nor am I trying to pick a fight with you or anything.

A while ago I remember you made a particular thread that turned into a rather heated discussion/debate. You asked if people would be willing to marry someone who would never want to have sex (even in marriage) because of some sort of conviction (even though they were physically able to). You made a pretty interesting argument as to why it was would be wrong and even selfish for someone to end a relationship because of that fact alone and that even a marriage without sex could still be passionate and loving.

How would you say that a scenario like the one I suggested in my OP is significantly different? I'm just curious.

 

[Touma]

Now Thomas, we are friends and you know me very well. (Better than anyone else on this forum, in fact.) So you know that in responding with what I'm about to say, I am meaning no harm nor am I trying to pick a fight with you or anything.

A while ago I remember you made a particular thread that turned into a rather heated discussion/debate. You asked if people would be willing to marry someone who would never want to have sex (even in marriage) because of some sort of conviction (even though they were physically able to). You made a pretty interesting argument as to why it was would be wrong and even selfish for someone to end a relationship because of that fact alone and that even a marriage without sex could still be passionate and loving.

How would you say that a scenario like the one I suggested in my OP is significantly different? I'm just curious.

Well, there is a difference between marriage and dating.

There is also a difference between sexual intercourse and kissing.

As far as that other thread? That was months ago. I was coming at the topic from a wrong state of mine, to be honest. I was in one of my stupid moods and mindsets. And part of it was arguing just for fun. You know how I am. ;-)


Plus, I don't see how it would contradictory for me to say that something was selfish(in hypothetical or idealistic terms), and then talk now about something else that I personally would do. It might make me a hypocrite to say something is wrong and then do it, but I don't see any contradictions.

 

[Amber.ly]

Personally, I would probably end the relationship before it got too far. Because, as much as people want to hold on to their 'no kissing' thing, as you get closer to each other in the relationship, you tend to get more personal and have the possibility for intimacy.

So this leaves you with two options:

-The guy agrees to wait, despite both of you wanting to really get intimate by kissing, etc. This will eventually put strain on the relationship, IMO.

- The girl gives in and kisses the guy, and then there is the guilt of breaking your own moral standards.

I would personally just avoid that situation altogether by dating someone who is willing to kiss or whatever, but not break the sex threshold.

I think this is smart.

If you know that its not your conviction to not kiss, don't be with someone who does have it. That right there is a good sign of incompatibility.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

I wouldn't want to kiss someone who didn't want to spend the rest of their life with me.

Good point.

 

[Rose of Eden]

I think this is smart.

If you know that its not your conviction to not kiss, don't be with someone who does have it. That right there is a good sign of incompatibility.

Yikes! This will make A LOT of single people. I have no hope then if I decide to officially wait til I'm engaged to kiss!

Might as well start collecting those cats now!

 

[DandelionsInTheRain]

Yikes! This will make A LOT of single people. I have no hope then if I decide to officially wait til I'm engaged to kiss!

Might as well start collecting those cats now!

Awwwwwww kitty cats!

 

[redblue22]

If kissing might lead to sex, then maybe we should avoid all things that might lead to kissing. What's next, no dancing? I really don't want to be with someone who is living The Rule Driven Life. I would think no-kissing would be a sign of bad things to come.

 

[William II]

If kissing might lead to sex, then maybe we should avoid all things that might lead to kissing. What's next, no dancing? I really don't want to be with someone who is living The Rule Driven Life. I would think no-kissing would be a sign of bad things to come.

Eye contact can also lead to kissing, therefore leading to sex.

Stop looking women in the eye, dude. It's bad.

 

[Paulie079]

Cue the trolls...

 

[Amber.ly]

Yikes! This will make A LOT of single people. I have no hope then if I decide to officially wait til I'm engaged to kiss!

Might as well start collecting those cats now!

Real cats are too expensive and messy.

Be like me and collect ceramic ones

(or technically, have a family like mine that thinks its funny to mark your years of being single by giving you ugly cat decorations)

 

[Touma]

Cue the trolls...

Its trolling to point out bad logic?

 

[MacFall]

If kissing might lead to sex, then maybe we should avoid all things that might lead to kissing. What's next, no dancing?

That reminds me of the joke that Southern Baptists discourage premaritial sex because it might lead to dancing.

 

[William II]

Its trolling to point out bad logic?

According to Paulie, yes...

 

[Paulie079]

Its trolling to point out bad logic?

I haven't seen anyone in this thread propose anything mentioned in the post previous to my comment, so there's no bad logic to point out. I think it's foolish to scoff at people who are seeking to pinpoint standards and personal boundaries for future relationships. In fact, it's weaker to have no standards than it is to have them in place.

 

[wannaberocker]

Eye contact can also lead to kissing, therefore leading to sex.

Stop looking women in the eye, dude. It's bad.

Say no to trolling.