visions or overactive imagination

[lutherangerman]

Hi there, I could need some help and advice with something that goes on for me for a long time now.

Sometimes I have these mental images in my mind, they are surrounded by white and other colored "streams" which serve as a kind of frame but the picture itself is easily visible.

I have schizophrenia so I am wary of these things, and sometimes when I had these images I don't know if they mean anything. But since my baptism in 2008 these images are so warm sometimes, almost brimming with beauty and love.

For example, I know a woman in a distant country for whom I have a lot of warm feelings. Recently I thought of her and saw this image, in fact it was a short "video". She did housechores, and she was calm and very quietly sang the refrain of a christian song I love. She looked joyous and ... as if she would submit to life, to thing like housechores. I really fell in love with that video, it made me feel so happy. I must add, I am currently trying to help my mother more in garden and house, and I must admit that I "hate" it, even though I know very well that I should not. From my thoughts I know that it is right to accept such chores and to do them peacefully without complaining. But when I get to do them my morale sinks and I wish myself far away.

Another example happened recently when I was going to the nursing home to do my volunteer work there (giving company to oldtimers and going for a walk with them and such stuff). I was on my way there when I began to think fondly of one of the oldtimers and that I should give them honor and respect as old people deserve to get it. Then I suddenly saw a vision of this man in my mind and he looked sweet and smiling and he said, you are a good boy.

Could this be the Holy Spirit's work? Sometimes I am obsessing about God's harsher things. Like, judgment, punishment, humiliation of his enemies. And then I am trying to face up to this. I manage it, not perfectly, but it is ok I think. But then I sometimes loose touch with the tender aspects of God, especially as revealed in the Holy Spirit and in Jesus meekness. Can I still believe in them even when I must also acknowledge God's strictness as something good? I always have the attitude that cannot devote myself to both the strictness and the generosity and warmth.

I must add that in the past I sometimes went head over heels into the images. For example, when I was a seeker I sometimes had these visions that I would be in a monastery near the sea, there were waves and long walkways and seagulls. I absoltuley loved these visions. But I don't know if they all came from God.

I do not think of myself as a prophet because of humility, but I have had other christians tell me that I might have a prophetic gift. I am very very untrained in all of this and part of me is fearing this gift because I do not know if I can always be humble about it, and I know I have difficulties with being corrected. I love and believe in Jesus, but I am not a good walker of the walk.

What would you do with these things? my family can't help that much because they don't quite believe in visions and blame it all on my illness. (Though recently my sister had a prophetic dream and freaked out about it ... she is an agnostic.) My pastor feels unsure of what to make of this too, my church isn't charismatic ... although I am certain that God is active in it.

Thank you for your advice.

 

[gracechick]

From what you have posted it appears to me the Lord has given you the gift of intercession, word of wisdom at the very least. The Lord has shown you these things for a reason and He knows all of our faults and shortcomings when He speaks to any one of us here on this forum.

As for being concerned about staying humble that tells me that you have the desire in your heart to be watchful of being proud which all believers must do as satan has caused many to fall by that sin he knows so well. You will have to talk with the Lord about your dislike of being corrected. Yet who among us enjoys that, but we need to be mindful of He only corrects us as He loves us so much

And many of us here have posted that family and friends are confused and often have a difficult time understanding and supporting us so you are not alone. That is why these forums are such a blessing in that I can communicate with those laboring in the same Gifts I have found myself working within. I've learned so much by interacting with many here and on other forums. The fellowship is awesome isn't it?

The few visions you've posted here sound reasonable enough to me, but each of us is the ultimate discerner of the messages we are given. The rest of us here can pray, be supportive and offer insight, but they can never take the place of the Holy Spirit.

I am aware it's difficult not to want to listen to those around one as when one receives a message that they desperately want unraveled it's easy to grab the interpretation that seems the most reasonable instead of waiting on the Lord. But many of us know that "running ahead of" or "trying to help the Lord" can cause a myriad of problems and sometimes heartbreak when one relies to much on themselves or others to interpret dreams and visions.

I hope at least a bit of this helped in some way.

 

[heron]

Notice how you viewed this scenario as beautiful. A person who was able to take the most menial tasks of life, and turn it into something beautiful, has found the answer that we all strive for.

It is rare to find people who are not continually striving these days. It is also rare to find it in ourselves.

I have heard some stories of people transitioning into schizophrenia, who were high achievers before it hit them. I don't want to say that is the cause of the ailment, or imply anything of you. But I think that if God wants to gradually heal you and help you find some management of what you're going through, it can be important to set this love of life as your goal.

Relaxing helps our oxygen intake, calms our muscles, improves circulation, helps our relationships, and brings us to place where we show more gratefulness to God and others.

I think we all need to keep this picture in our minds. There might be more to it, relating to the woman... but use every insight for the good -- set aside striving to achieve the woman, and try to achieve the joy.

 

[john_witte]

If you tell that spirit, ie "schizophrenia" that it is okay to have its place with you, then it will never go away and will continue to assert itself into everything about you. I have personally entertained many spirits because I was so desperate to get freed of certain things and because I listened to so many "good" voices that were themselves not speaking from the Spirit even though they thought they were helping me. I hate to sound uncaring or forceful and I do realize that we Christians do have to do combat with darkness, even more so as we receive more light, but I would do some battle with that spirit under the blood and in the place of the Father's care rather than accept its presence.

 

[kimmiemae]

No doubt you are gifted my friend. Fear of being corrected usually has its roots in having a critical parent(s). Do you feel that you have been criticized unjustly?

Another thing we do as humans...we project our parents on to God. My mother was critical and I saw God as critical (picking on everything I did) and my dad was distant and unprotective so I thought God was far away and didn't care if I was raped. I had to ask forgiveness in these areas.

God is love. God is spirit. We know these are truths found in scripture.

You might want to read Neil T. Anderson's Who I Am (in Christ). AWESOME!!!

 

[Firewater]

Another thing we do as humans...we project our parents on to God

So true. Looking at how we relate to our parents can help us grow in our relationship with God.