University assignment on autism and the Church

[Jem2911]

I am writing an essay for university on autism and the role of the Church in inclusion and growth. And would appreciate some personal stories from Christians who also have autism or Asperger's syndrome to help with my research and possibly include aspects of in my work. If this goes really well I may look into further developing my essay into book form to be submitted for publishing. Below are some questions which may help guide your responses, but feel free to skip questions or post a free-form
response if you prefer. Unless you indicate otherwise I will assume that in submitting responses to this thread you are giving permission and are happy for me to quote and paraphase your response for use in my essay and possible book. Thanks in advance!

1. How would you describe your relationship with God?
2. Do you regularly go to Church, why or why not?
3. What kind of Church or Church groups do you go to?
4. What aspects of Church and Church community do you enjoy and which do you find difficult?
5. How has your Church/Church groups (or people within it) helped you to grow (not necessarily just spiritually) and be included?
6. How do you think your Church/Church groups could help you better feel included, grow and be involved?
7. How do you think the Church/Church groups could help people with autism in general?
8. How do you serve within your Church?

 

[angelofsuffering]

1. very distant you wonder if he cares becuase everything around you i cursed 2. no,becuase you dont feel connected with other beleivers much rather read the bible 3. kind and accepting ones..but not like any are left
4. i find getting to know jesus good, and having to be a oucast bad 5.not real sure..i havent been to real good chruches 6. include special needs groups 7. not judge them..im tired of being seen as crazy.. i post my heart on this forum and people ignore me..and i feel cursed? 8.

 

[Fangtastic]

1. very distant you wonder if he cares becuase everything around you i cursed 2. no,becuase you dont feel connected with other beleivers much rather read the bible 3. kind and accepting ones..but not like any are left
4. i find getting to know jesus good, and having to be a oucast bad 5.not real sure..i havent been to real good chruches 6. include special needs groups 7. not judge them..im tired of being seen as crazy.. i post my heart on this forum and people ignore me..and i feel cursed? 8.

Sad. I will talk with you. Parent of Autistic teen so I don't have the disorder but I am PS. Give me a pm. Also,try wrongplanet and get in there with others like yourself for support.

Ryker

 

[Sabertooth]

1. How would you describe your relationship with God?

I trust in Jesus' atoning death on the Cross, but I feel a tension that I am not as compassionate as I should be. I regularly pray for grace to be such.

2. Do you regularly go to Church, why or why not??

No, the pastor of the church I would attend seems put off by my social clumsiness. It never happened in this kind of church before, but it changed when its founder died.

There is a Baptist-type pastor who ministers to some of my NT children, but I am certain that I need someone with the baptism of the Holy Spirit to minister to my 23yo HFA DS (mental age 6-10yrs.) and non-verbal 16yo DD (mental age 18mos.). Otherwise, my DD just gets babysat and nobody (else) knows what to do with her when she bites out-of-the-blue. I end up having to sit in a back room with her and end up missing the message anyway.

3. What kind of Church or Church groups do you go to??

I prefer Vineyard, but have found similar AoGs & non-denominationals when they weren't available.

4. What aspects of Church and Church community do you enjoy and which do you find difficult??

Before Vineyard's founder, John Wimber, died, Vineyard Christian Fellowship generally thought outside-of-the-box. Not to the point of being heretical, but they were good about not making rules where the Bible was silent, and would venture into uncharted territory.

After, they swung way more cautious. I know of no major disagreements with our local pastor's theology, but they seem more rigid and I seem to rub him the wrong way.

In previous Vineyards and similar, they would feel like my family from the outset. The brightness of their Spirit would assuage my typical Aspie apprehension right away. I still get tense in crowds where the Spirit isn't notably present, with the exception of my close relatives.

5. How has your Church/Church groups (or people within it) helped you to grow (not necessarily just spiritually) and be included??

See #4

6. How do you think your Church/Church groups could help you better feel included, grow and be involved??

If I could relate to a new church the same way as the previous Vineyards. Or if (our?) Vineyard could swing back a little more in its previous direction.

7. How do you think the Church/Church groups could help people with autism in general??

That is not an easy question to answer. The jury is still out on its root cause. And there may be different causes for different people. AVM Biotech/Sound Choice Pharmaceuticals have reason to believe that the recent wave of low-functioning autism may be due to vaccine injury due to the (well-documented) use of aborted fetal cells in their manufacture.

This calls for the need for the ministries of healing and, possibly, deliverance, at least to the point of just having AS.

Aspergers is arguably a neuro-diverse condition. I did not feel any discrimination where the Spirit was greatly present. And we benefit from (and need) Body ministry just like any NT believer does, even if we look different. And it's fun to be used in the Gifts (of the Spirit), as well.

8. How do you serve within your Church?

Right now, nada, for the reasons given above. And my family life is weaker because of it.

 

[MoeSzyslak]

1. My relationship with God is predominately as friend. Of course God is also Father, Judge, etc. But in my real life walk, he is predominately friend.

2. I do regularly attend church. I think for two reasons. One God wants it and two my kids need it.

3. I presently attend a Methodist church, but I am not really hung up on any particular denomination. Its close and convienent so we go there.

4. I truthfully find the whole thing pretty painful. The word church comes from the Greek word ecclesia, which means an assembly or gathering. So it is by definition, a social gathering. And I am a failure at anything that has socializing and fellowship.

5. It hasn't. (I'm not saying it's the churches fault though.)

6 and 7. I truly desire to be part of a small church group, study group or something along those lines, but it never happens. They are based upon sharing and praying. Many times I have nothing to say, or I have nothing to say until 3 hours later. Sometimes I have things to say in my brain, but I can't get them to my mouth. They get lost somewhere on the way down. The group would have to accept I may sit there for the whole meeting and not say a single thing, frequently. Well sitting there silently, while repeatedly centering your pen on a piece of paper, pretty much goes against what people see as the purpose of a small group, so they don't want you. It stinks and then life moves on.
I used to think I might want a group who would accept me as I am and deal with my silence, but I have since decided I don't want to be the charity case in the corner. I don't need the charity, accept me for who I am or leave me out.
Do you know what I want at church? A friend. I stand alone. When I struggle I have no one to call. When I fall no one is there to help pick me up. A stephen minister who will meet with you for a few weeks doesn't cut it. I have a lifelong need for fellowship.

8. I don't. You can only volunteer for so many things and not get picked until you give up. If they want me, then they can call me.

 

[AlbusEarwax]

1. How would you describe your relationship with God?

2. Do you regularly go to Church, why or why not?
No. chruchs are loud and also to hard.

3. What kind of Church or Church groups do you go to?
I went some times to a youth group. I stoped going. This was becuase of bullying.

4. What aspects of Church and Church community do you enjoy and which do you find difficult?
I like praying. I do not like people who are mean. the ones also who say things like "God did not want you to be like this" "if you pray he will heal you" also when I was a teenager. There was a prayer group to pray for my evilnes. Beucase they do not understand autism. they say I was evil. Mum cryed alot becuase of the mean people.

5. How has your Church/Church groups (or people within it) helped you to grow (not necessarily just spiritually) and be included?
I do not know.

6. How do you think your Church/Church groups could help you better feel included, grow and be involved?
I do not know.

7. How do you think the Church/Church groups could help people with autism in general?
I think they can let them be in a room that is not loud but they can here what is being said. The room that is also not to many people. They can be nice and not mean. They can not say autism is from demons.

8. How do you serve within your Church?
I do not go to chruch now.

 

[Sabertooth]

...

4. ... the ones also who say things like "God did not want you to be like this" "if you pray he will heal you" also when I was a teenager. There was a prayer group to pray for my evilnes. Beucase they do not understand autism. they say I was evil...

I still think that God can (and is willing to) help us with the hard parts about being on the spectrum.

7...?
They can not say autism is from demons...

At the very least, demons will capitalize on our inherent ASD weaknesses. NTs don't consider this when they make such blanket statements, but God can still use them anyway (just like He uses us). We should let God (and his people) touch us there, when it is needed. The God who created us isn't going to remove anything good that He placed in us, just the bad stuff that is all tangled up in it.

 

[C-Man]

1. How would you describe your relationship with God?
The only way I could quantify it, is perhaps if you were to jump out of an airplane without a parachute, but you rise instead of fall.

2. Do you regularly go to Church, why or why not?
No. Don't get me wrong, the people there are nice and kind to me, but like anywhere else, I get the feeling that I'm regarded with pity rather than respect.

3. What kind of Church or Church groups do you go to?
I don't, for the reasons above.

4. What aspects of Church and Church community do you enjoy and which do you find difficult?
I rather enjoy singing hymns and discussing my interpretations with others. The hard part is stringing together enough words to start a conversation.

5. How has your Church/Church groups (or people within it) helped you to grow (not necessarily just spiritually) and be included?
Like I said, they were very nice to me, and didn't try to exorcise any autism demons from me.

6. How do you think your Church/Church groups could help you better feel included, grow and be involved?
Just like in any other place, I'd like to be able to deal with everyone on a level playing field instead of feeling like I'm shouting from the bench.

7. How do you think the Church/Church groups could help people with autism in general?
Let an autistic man preach a couple of sermons. That'll help the general congregation understand a lot.

8. How do you serve within your Church?
Still working on that. If I did serve, I'd probably be fixing the roof or something.

 

[Nienna_Lady_of_Tears]

1. How would you describe your relationship with God?

It has its ups and downs. I have been everything from claiming I am agnostic to having people say that they heard the Spirit speak to them through me this year.

2. Do you regularly go to Church, why or why not?

My husband and I are both Aspies and we are not currently attending a church because most of them in this area are far too large for our comfort, and we cannot drive to small congregations.

3. What kind of Church or Church groups do you go to?

We don't. We grew up in the Church of Christ and currently attend one of their colleges, however we have major disagreements with most of their teachings. Because a major Church of Christ university is in this town, most of the churches are of this denomination.

4. What aspects of Church and Church community do you enjoy and which do you find difficult?

I have never attended a functional church. While we cannot attend church because we both get panic attacks in large group settings (to the point where we were having to leave church early every week- and that was only with 35 people) the people here know this and they have helped us a lot because we're also poor.

5. How has your Church/Church groups (or people within it) helped you to grow (not necessarily just spiritually) and be included?

It hasn't.

6. How do you think your Church/Church groups could help you better feel included, grow and be involved?

Realizing that there are people who are not able to understand concepts like "just apply it." I was told that over and over. I don't know what they meant.

7. How do you think the Church/Church groups could help people with autism in general?

Stop considering us freaks.
8. How do you serve within your Church?

I don't.

 

[blanning]

1. How would you describe your relationship with God?

It's difficult for me to explain. I guess it's sort of a weird combination of a friend and a guide.

2. Do you regularly go to Church, why or why not?

Yes. Mainly (I'm sorry to say) because it's required to get the membership discount for the private christian school. The church is about an hour drive from our house, so it's a bit of a trek. Frequently, I do get good things out of attending. It's about 50/50. Sometimes I'm really into the service and feeling great about it. Other times, I don't get much. But I always find myself missing it when I don't go. So I go. If it were down the street, it would be a lot easier for me to attend.

I also have sensory problems associated with church. There's certain songs that are practically unbearable for me because of their, um, not so smart lyrics. Repeating a phrase over and over and over and over is painful for me. The acoustics can cause problems also. Although I always (and I mean always) carry earplugs with me. I can hear through them, and they take the edge off no matter where I run into problems.

3. What kind of Church or Church groups do you go to?

It's a Lutheran church (LCMS). I like this particular church, although I sort of have a dislike for lutheran churches in general. That was my wife's denomination. Mine was baptist, although I don't like them either. I'm always annoyed by something or other whenever I try a new one. So this one is a good compromise. Although I wish they'd stop over-doing communion. And I think the infant baptism thing is a little silly.

I'd like to go to a few groups, but I just live too far away for that to be practical.

4. What aspects of Church and Church community do you enjoy and which do you find difficult?

Social situations are always difficult. But I always try to participate so I can learn. And my wife is good about helping me analyze what went right or wrong. These days, I rarely make mistakes.

Sometimes I like the music, but usually I just tolerate or really dislike it. Sometimes the contemporary band make the music more enjoyable. I dislike standing. I also dislike dressing up so I never do. Like it or lump it. Although there's a lot of others who seem to agree with me.

5. How has your Church/Church groups (or people within it) helped you to grow (not necessarily just spiritually) and be included?

I'm not really sure. Although anything that helps us build relationships with other christians is a good thing.

6. How do you think your Church/Church groups could help you better feel included, grow and be involved?

If they happened right after the service, that would help a lot. Otherwise, this sort of thing will have to wait until we live down the street from our church.

7. How do you think the Church/Church groups could help people with autism in general?

Simply knowing about it would help. Most people are totally clueless. But they're not as bad as the people who think they know what it is and are wrong.

What people with autism spectrum disorders really need are social skills classes. But a church probably isn't the ideal place for that.

8. How do you serve within your Church?

I pretty much just attend. Although I have helped the associated school with computer work in the past.

brian

 

[JCFantasy23]

I am writing an essay for university on autism and the role of the Church in inclusion and growth. And would appreciate some personal stories from Christians who also have autism or Asperger's syndrome to help with my research and possibly include aspects of in my work. If this goes really well I may look into further developing my essay into book form to be submitted for publishing. Below are some questions which may help guide your responses, but feel free to skip questions or post a free-form
response if you prefer. Unless you indicate otherwise I will assume that in submitting responses to this thread you are giving permission and are happy for me to quote and paraphase your response for use in my essay and possible book. Thanks in advance!

1. How would you describe your relationship with God?
2. Do you regularly go to Church, why or why not?
3. What kind of Church or Church groups do you go to?
4. What aspects of Church and Church community do you enjoy and which do you find difficult?
5. How has your Church/Church groups (or people within it) helped you to grow (not necessarily just spiritually) and be included?
6. How do you think your Church/Church groups could help you better feel included, grow and be involved?
7. How do you think the Church/Church groups could help people with autism in general?
8. How do you serve within your Church?

1. God has always been my rock. Couldn't imagine living without Him. Not sure how to explain the relationship, it's close I hope.

2. No, I havent found a church that seems right yet. I go every couple of months to try a new one out. I try to be more structured about it but hasn't happened yet.

3. Have no church

4. Its a little overwhelming when so many try to talk to you at first and I HATE handshakes but feel obligated to do them. Also just feel a little awkward at church but it's still okay.

5. n/a

6. n/a

7. Not sure, never thought about it

8. n/a

 

[Boseth]

1) Near enough a) to feel that He cares, even if I am confused and find life very difficuly, and b) to believe that
He is very patient with me.
2) No. Because I am bad at relating to others I usually end up leaving in bitterness. I think others misunderstand
my solitariness as aloofness or hostility.
3) Usually conservative evangelical. But I have run out of the evangelical options in my area and so have also tried
others, but my problems are the same anywhere. A quiet church where I can go unnoticed might work.
4) Anything that involves interacting with others is virtually impossible, including shaking hands with the minister
on the way out.
5) They didn't.
6) I think that I might have to ask too much of them, that is, to ignore my oddness! If they realised that not
everyone is as good as they are at interacting that would help.
7) To practise what they preach. e.g. judgmentalism is not very Christian.
8) A church that I rarely go to asked if I'd dig holes in its grounds for the interment of ashes after creamations.
I like doing this because a) I can, and b) they leave me alone to get on with it. I did a website for a previous
church once some years ago and they said that "someone like me" should not do that and took it away from me ... then accused me of not "pulling my weight" - needless to say I left!

May God bless you in your assignment, Jem.

 

[dayhiker]

Jem .. you must have written your report by now. How did it go? can you post it here?

 

[Intellectual-Christian]

1. How would you describe your relationship with God?
2. Do you regularly go to Church, why or why not?
3. What kind of Church or Church groups do you go to?
4. What aspects of Church and Church community do you enjoy and which do you find difficult?
5. How has your Church/Church groups (or people within it) helped you to grow (not necessarily just spiritually) and be included?
6. How do you think your Church/Church groups could help you better feel included, grow and be involved?
7. How do you think the Church/Church groups could help people with autism in general?
8. How do you serve within your Church?

This assignment is probably long since completed, but since I just discovered this site and I think you asked some potentially important questions:

1) I can say God is quite literally my best friend, being the only one who "gets me". He also serves as a mentor/guide who is willing to help me out when I am in a bind, but also more than willing to chew me out when I am throwing a pity party.

2) Some have accused me of going to church too often. I truly feel like my church is my community and that is where I am most comfortable interacting with other people.

3) My church is a small, multi-cultural, urban, Evangelical Free church.

4) The people there are my friends and, for the most part, show me a great deal of respect. This allows me to not need to focus so much on worrying about what other people think of me and rather focus on worshiping and serving God. The largest difficulty for me is the noise. Sometimes the music gives me a headache and when the kids let loose after services, it can get chaotic.

5) My pastor joked after our Wednesday night Bible study that he should get t-shirts for the church saying "Characters Welcome". (I think this was a reference to an advertising campaign from the USA cable television network.) At that study there were 14 adults, 2 of whom were bi-polar, 1 was schizophrenic, 3 were clinically depressed, and me (Aspie). I was leading the study. Needless to say, my church is perceived as a safe place for people who may not fit in perfectly in society. As soon as I started going there, they started plugging me into ministry. I felt like I was a full part of the church within 3 months.

6) I don't think it is the church itself that needs to work to make me feel more included, but rather the informal social activities outside of church. I don't get invited to much and it is always sort of uncomfortable to hear them talking about things they did with each other. Granted, I am a single man who is socially awkward and would generally rather be home alone, but I feel like it would be nice to at least have the option of attending some of these informal events.

7) I think most churches (including my own) don't really understand what people on the spectrum can bring to the table. This is arguably due to people naturally not knowing what to do with the socially awkward. Special interests can frequently be focused in ministry capacity. Being involved in ministry, much more than anything else, has helped me feel welcomed in a church setting.

8) It seems that I am unusual in this regard, but I serve a lot. I was doing children's church within 6 months of joining my current church. Now I lead Bible study, serve on two church committees, disciple one of the aforementioned bipolar men, advise on various behind the scenes issues at the church, and a variety of miscellaneous other things as needed.