UGH, I HATE all of this. What should I do?

[peacechild]

I could probably make this 8,000 words long... but I'll try to make it as short as I can.
First of all, I am 17 years old. I am vehemently forced to attend (and participate "enthousiastically") my parents' church.
My parents are a certain denomination which I will not name.. just so I don't offend anyone. They constantly laugh at and bash other denominations even IN church. They believe that anyone who is not of this particular denomination is not a "True Christian".
Once a few months ago I told my parents, "Mom and Dad, I really do not consider myself a (insert denomination here), and I really wish you would not force me to attend your church." My mother started to yell: "NO! You WILL be a Christian!!!! I command you to renounce this satan worship, because that is what it really is - The KING JAMES BIBLE says that rebellion is as the sin of witch craft."
THAT made me pretty mad. I lost my temper and said some pretty disrespectful things which I regret. They WON'T understand and or refuse to acknowledge that I AM a Christian.

Anyways, three times a week + special meetings I am forced to attend their church. And I HATE it. I am usually not smiling - ever, unfriendly, unsocial, miserable, and the first one out the door.
Once when there was a guest speaker (an extremly proud, hateful, racist, revolting, utterly desgusting PIG and complete JERK), I got in a lot of trouble for walking out 15 minutes before he finished speaking. I had to leave because it was making me sick. (I threw up later on), but I didn't dare tell my parents I felt sick otherwise they would have thought I was demon possessed or something. I was punished for this "extremly disrespectful act" - locked in my room for several hours so that I could read the KING JAMES BIBLE until I was ready to repent for my sins and take a biblical punishment (the "rod").
That is just one instance of which I am punished for being in dissagreement with their Church/standards/beliefs/interpretations of the bible.
I am really not sure how much more of this I can possibly take. I know I am supposed to "honor my parents", and maybe I'm wrong but I feel like by honoring my parents I am not honoring God.

For instance, I wrote a song on my guitar last year and my mother heard me singing it one morning and demanded to know where I picked up that "dreadful style of music", and I told her I'd come up with it myself. She freaked out and started going on and on about how I was worshiping the devil with rock music and that she was going to have to confinscate my guitar!!!! UUUGH. I wrote the song while worshiping GOD. It was a song about his magnificant power. I WAS HONORING GOD. Yes, I like non-traditional praise & worship music. I'm guilty, so shoot me!

OK, this I can take. But I cannot take their church. The church is nasty, legalistic, hateful, RACIST and close-minded. Their church is nothing but a tiny, cheap cardboard box that they all want to cram themselves into, shutting the lid tight, and when something chews a hole through the weak material, they all freak out.

What do I do? Do I need to change my attitude or what? Am I just being a rebellious, self-centered, whiny, little brat feeling sorry for herself, and playing the victim?

 

[wonderwaleye]

Dear Peacechild


While you are under their roof then do as they request.


BUT


You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink!!!


I have to agree with you that what they are doing is VERY wrong. This goes on in many of the worldly churches.


The HOLY SPIRIT gave me a message in the early morning hours:

" CHURCH CAN BE A WONDERFUL NEST, BUT UNLESS YOU VENTURE OUT OF YOUR NEST AND USE YOUR BIBLE FOR WINGS, YOU WILL NEVER SOAR, WITH DISTRUCTION MOST PROBABLE. "


Read your Bible and pray to GOD and lay your HEART before HIM. Then HE shall be with you and will guide you.


Don't fight or argue with your parents. Just know that GOD BLESSED you with YOUR OWN mind. Be gentle in your discourse with your parents on letting them know what you feel is wrong.



BE PATIENT AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:




X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven

 

[bliz]

When do you turn 18?

The day you do, you can pick up your guitar and leave.

 

[Treasurer]

My mom so enjoyed quoting scripture to me to get me to do what she wanted. It was great when I finally did pick up my bible, because then I found a counter to her attack:

She said, honor you father and your mother that your days may be long!

the counter for me is this: parents provoke not your children to wrath. I used it too, lol.

We are told: Brother will betray brother to death, fathers will betray their own children, and children will rise against their own parents and cause them to be killed. And everyone will hate you because of your allegiance to me. But those who endure to the end will be saved. Mark 13:12-13

Now mind you while you live at home, you are under your parents protection. So it is best to honor them. I didnt really understand what that meant, til one day mom found a job for me at her work. I cleaned offices. Apparently the people liked me, and said what a good girl I was to my mother. It caused pride for me in her, or love. Now what this means to me is that I brought honor to her name, because of how I lived my life.

We are also told that about how we worship God. This is how we bring honor to his name, by how we live our lives. Which is probably why God said: Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

I have been told this is the first commandment with promise. Didnt really know what that meant either, do now though. It means if you honor them you get a promise from God.

God placed us in the care of our parents, now this is symbolic of how we will come to understand honoring God. For our parents are in a position over us. And if you remember when you were young, how you looked at mom and dad. They knew everything. You totally trusted them, if they said go to the fridge there is a big ole cake in there for you, hey you believed it, because kids are like that! And in this young state is how we should be towards our Lord, to be obedient and trusting of his word, and believe him.

It is the same promise of that in Exodus 20:12 inheriting the land God has promised for us.

Keep in mind how you feel about God in your heart. Your parents cannot change that, it never changed how I loved God. Just be obedient to them. They are your elders and should be treated with respect. Do not speak out against them, especially in public, this is very disrespectful. (Just like a woman is not to speak out against her husband).

You should, inside you know how you are suppose to be. Sure you want to rebel, but that isnt what scriptures teach us. Even slaves have an obligation to their masters, even if they are christians. You live your life the best you can. Do what is right and just. (There will be a time when you too will understand parenting. A time when your own children dont agree with you and what you believe. So right now make sure you plant good seeds in that soil, because the day will come when you will reap little children of your own).

May God give you wisdom and understanding. And bring peace to you and your family.

Let the Lord be your strength in weakness.

 

[peacechild]

I have to agree with you that what they are doing is VERY wrong. This goes on in many of the worldly churches.

Really, that's very interesting. Care to elaborate on this?

The people in this church pride themselves in not being "worldly"... in fact one of youth directors accused me of being worldly when I refused to participate in a ski activity. I refused to go and said, "skiing a a skirt over my snow suit is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard" Appearantly they are the most "unworldy" people ever to walk the face of the earth.

 

[live4grace]

I could probably make this 8,000 words long... but I'll try to make it as short as I can.
First of all, I am 17 years old. I am vehemently forced to attend (and participate "enthousiastically") my parents' church.
My parents are a certain denomination which I will not name.. just so I don't offend anyone. They constantly laugh at and bash other denominations even IN church. They believe that anyone who is not of this particular denomination is not a "True Christian".
Once a few months ago I told my parents, "Mom and Dad, I really do not consider myself a (insert denomination here), and I really wish you would not force me to attend your church." My mother started to yell: "NO! You WILL be a Christian!!!! I command you to renounce this satan worship, because that is what it really is - The KING JAMES BIBLE says that rebellion is as the sin of witch craft."
THAT made me pretty mad. I lost my temper and said some pretty disrespectful things which I regret. They WON'T understand and or refuse to acknowledge that I AM a Christian.

Anyways, three times a week + special meetings I am forced to attend their church. And I HATE it. I am usually not smiling - ever, unfriendly, unsocial, miserable, and the first one out the door.
Once when there was a guest speaker (an extremly proud, hateful, racist, revolting, utterly desgusting PIG and complete JERK), I got in a lot of trouble for walking out 15 minutes before he finished speaking. I had to leave because it was making me sick. (I threw up later on), but I didn't dare tell my parents I felt sick otherwise they would have thought I was demon possessed or something. I was punished for this "extremly disrespectful act" - locked in my room for several hours so that I could read the KING JAMES BIBLE until I was ready to repent for my sins and take a biblical punishment (the "rod").
That is just one instance of which I am punished for being in dissagreement with their Church/standards/beliefs/interpretations of the bible.
I am really not sure how much more of this I can possibly take. I know I am supposed to "honor my parents", and maybe I'm wrong but I feel like by honoring my parents I am not honoring God.

For instance, I wrote a song on my guitar last year and my mother heard me singing it one morning and demanded to know where I picked up that "dreadful style of music", and I told her I'd come up with it myself. She freaked out and started going on and on about how I was worshiping the devil with rock music and that she was going to have to confinscate my guitar!!!! UUUGH. I wrote the song while worshiping GOD. It was a song about his magnificant power. I WAS HONORING GOD. Yes, I like non-traditional praise & worship music. I'm guilty, so shoot me!

OK, this I can take. But I cannot take their church. The church is nasty, legalistic, hateful, RACIST and close-minded. Their church is nothing but a tiny, cheap cardboard box that they all want to cram themselves into, shutting the lid tight, and when something chews a hole through the weak material, they all freak out.

What do I do? Do I need to change my attitude or what? Am I just being a rebellious, self-centered, whiny, little brat feeling sorry for herself, and playing the victim?

You are way, way beyond your years in wisdom, balance and discernment. Your heart after God is completely wonderful and nothing can take it away. What you're going through will not last and you will come through it with a clean heart and a longing for revival.

Those things that you sense are wrong ARE WRONG. It's the Holy Spirit that has told you so. No denomination has a corner on salvation and the King James Bible, though wonderfully poetic, has its limitations and can be hard to read.

So .. advice. Basically, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

1. Read the King James. It's archaic (Ben Franklin said so in the 1780s), hard to understand in places, but it's still the Word of God. You know it's not the only translation, but with it under your belt you'll be able to do comparative Bible Study like few others. The best way to fight badly-applied Bible is to know well-applied Bible. You can find scriptures that contradict a lot of what is going on. But believe me, the translation of the Bible you're forced to read is the least of your problems. It will take time, but learn it very, very well.

2. Regarding music (I've led worship for 20 years), you can rearrange the songs they sing in church into a style that speaks to you. Ask your parents to get you a hymnal and learn the songs on your guitar. It's only one style, but you have a rainbow of styles inside of you. Start with this one color and watch what God does.

3. Pray really hard for God to move in the church to expose the fallacies and hypocrisy. He can and will do that. Also pray for opportunities to ask pointed questions, in the right spirit, building others up in the Lord.

4. Ask God for the right heart. I bet your parents love you. Their church experience is stilting and restrictive, but it's probably all they know and all they can accept. The problem is that it feels like you're being squeezed out of existence. But that feeling is a lie, because God is a Redeemer. When you're of age (not too long from now), you can and will become all that God has made you to be. The love inside you will bring people to Jesus. But believe me, no matter how strange it seems, you will look back on this time as a foundational point in your life, the ground floor of a huge building that is your life.

I'll pray for you; your heart is a joy to behold.

 

[fishstix]

Well, you could look at this as an opportunity to learn/practice patience. One more year (or maybe less) until you are old enough to move out on your own, whether they like it or not. Until then, try your best to be patient with your parents. Your parents are only human, and human beings make mistakes. What they are doing is not right, but neither is losing one's temper and being disrespectful to them in return. I know that a year seems like a really long time when you're 17, but it will pass by. Hang in there, and know that God loves you very much.

 

[S Walch]

Wow, well, first of all I must commend you, peacechild, on your absolutely amazing will-power. Many teenagers your age wouldn't put up with all that and probably have stopped being a christain, so it is pleasing to see just how much a grip you have on the truth. Stick to it, and never leave it.

As for your parents, I must say, it's not you who seems to be controlled by Satan, they seem to be very much lost on the truth.

Now, I mean no offense to your parents, but they do come across as immensly psychotic, and the church that they attend, and that they force you to attend, doesn't seem to have the love of Yahuweh (God's Name Yaa-way) and The Messiah in it. In fact, it seems like it doesn't have any love there at all.

Rock music isn't from the "devil" - people really need to stop listening to Pat Robinson.

The only thing you can really do sister, is to pray. Pray for deliverance for you and your parents from this church, and for the love of The Messiah to either compel your parents that this church is wrong and should leave it, or you can pray that the love of Yahuweh comes back to the church.

There is power in the Name of God, Yahuweh. Use His Name whenever you talk to your parents or people at the church - His Name which is declared 7000 times in the Old testament, roughly 7 times a page, and that in exodus 3:16, Yahuweh says "I am Yahuweh, the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob. Yahuweh is My Name which I am to be remembered by from generation to generation"

Trust in Yahuweh, call on His Name, and pray for deliverance for you and your family, and the Chruch you're forced to go to.

As I will also be doing.

 

[LinuxRacr]

The first thing I want to say to you is that the only way to cast out fear and hate is with LOVE. This is not an easy situation to be in at all, but how can you manage it, while still showing honor to your parents. Your parents are so worried about your rock music, and such that the fail to see the truth of the word that sets YOU free. Remember, for it is not what goes into a man that defiles him, but it is what comes out of the man that does. With this in mind, use this opportunity to be a light shining in the darkness. You are forced to go to a church you loath attending. Instead of being angry, and bitter rejoice that the truth has an opportunity to be spread through you! Approach the situation with an attitude of love. If you have to go, make the best of it. If you can be a blessing to others there, then do so. Honor your parents, and speak to them with a tone of love. Disarm them with words of truth and love, and let Jesus work on their hearts, and remember, the results of someone's spritual walk is not up to you, but up to the Lord. Speak the truth in love, and let God do the rest. Love and truth is your best wepon against the bondage of hate, and un-truth. It won't be easy, but remember that he told us in this world we will have tribulations, but fear not because he has overcome this world!!!

 

[setzie]

I feel very sorry to read that.

As long as you live with your parents I'd advise you to continue to attend church with them. Try, I know it's hard, but try not to be too sad, too unfriendly, too miserable while you are attending church. It can make life easier for you.

From what you've written there's not much hope that your parents will change. Btw, you are not playing the victim. Sounds rather like you are a victim. Is there anyone your parents listen to and is that someone who can understand your point of view? If so then try to speak with him.

 

[Knees]

Wow. I'm so sorry for you. Rich, sincere fellowship with God's people can be so fullfilling - and it's important. You will soon be out from under your parents' authority and will be able to fellowship where you choose. For now, just remember that God calls you to fellowship with Him all day everyday. What are there, 168 hours in a week? If you are required to spend 5 to 10 of those hours where you'd rather not be - oh well - look at how many hours you have left to love God. And during those 5 to 10 hours make a practice to quietly, in your heart, react to the messages that you hear - find verses that show the truth - not so that you can start an arguement but rather, so that you can protect your own heart.
I suspect that one day your parents are going to have a grace revolution in their hearts and look back on this and feel terrible. Since you recognize their lack of grace concerning the things of God you need to be careful to practice grace.
May the grace of God give you what you need to stand!

 

[Teekz]

God refines us like silver, he brings us into prison and lays burdens on our backs. you let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abandance.. remmeber that

Behind every difficulty lies the purpose and love of god, nothing can happend to us that hasn't first passed through God's hands.. jus keep keep showing respect your parents, and keep THE TRUU teachings in ur heart and soon you will see why u went through what ur going through right now

 

[Johnnz]

Your situation is hard, but you are doing well. Many become put off from church and God after a background like that.

Honouring your parents will involve not being disrespectful. I had to do that, as my parents, especially my mother, was bitterly opposed to my Christian faith.

You will leave home one day. Then, you can make your own decisions. Meantime, God will honour your faithfulness and attitude.

Bless you
John
NZ

 

[joyousliving]

Peacechild,

Honor your parents with respectful obedience while you live under their roof, that is God's word. Pray for them and pray for their church.

Now many here have said you should move out as soon as you are 18. In many states you can move out now. Over 16 you are no longer considered a "runaway." If it is truly oppressive you can go before a judge and have yourself "emancipated." Which means that you let the court know that you can be responsible for yourself financially.

HOWEVER, while one might get the impression that moving out is the answer to your problem, I hope that you haven't come away with that impression. Even after you move out you are required by God's law to honor your folks. You won't have to attend church with them, but it seems they will have a definte opinion about that. You will have to gently remind them that you are on your own now and have taken responsibility for your spiritual maturity. They will definitely scrutinize ANYTHING that you do for evidence that your "new faith" is really satanic. Be mindful of that and pray that God will give you the grace to be humble and meek.

You have a tough road now, but some of the friction will INCREASE when you move out. Make sure you are prepared spiritually.

I will pray for you and your family.

 

[peacechild]

Now many here have said you should move out as soon as you are 18. In many states you can move out now. Over 16 you are no longer considered a "runaway." If it is truly oppressive you can go before a judge and have yourself "emancipated." Which means that you let the court know that you can be responsible for yourself financially.

I don't doubt that I would have much trouble convincing a judge that emancipation would be in my best interest..
but, I have sort of checked out the emancipation path before. It's not very likely to work for me. Unfortunately, I am not yet prepared to be completely responsible for myself financially.
I am also a bit worried about what might happen to my younger siblings if I was emancipated.

HOWEVER, while one might get the impression that moving out is the answer to your problem, I hope that you haven't come away with that impression. Even after you move out you are required by God's law to honor your folks. You won't have to attend church with them, but it seems they will have a definte opinion about that. You will have to gently remind them that you are on your own now and have taken responsibility for your spiritual maturity. They will definitely scrutinize ANYTHING that you do for evidence that your "new faith" is really satanic.

I am completely aware that moving out isn't the magical solution to my problem. But I'm not exactly sure about honoring them once I move out - as soon I stop attending their church, they will automatically disown me as they have already done with my older brother. It is quite likely they will disown on me. In what ways will I honor them after that? They won't want to talk to me anymore... as I have seen with my brother - we are forbidden to have any contact with him since he has "decided to walk with Satan".

 

[salida]

I could probably make this 8,000 words long... but I'll try to make it as short as I can.
First of all, I am 17 years old. I am vehemently forced to attend (and participate "enthousiastically") my parents' church.
My parents are a certain denomination which I will not name.. just so I don't offend anyone. They constantly laugh at and bash other denominations even IN church. They believe that anyone who is not of this particular denomination is not a "True Christian".
Once a few months ago I told my parents, "Mom and Dad, I really do not consider myself a (insert denomination here), and I really wish you would not force me to attend your church." My mother started to yell: "NO! You WILL be a Christian!!!! I command you to renounce this satan worship, because that is what it really is - The KING JAMES BIBLE says that rebellion is as the sin of witch craft."
THAT made me pretty mad. I lost my temper and said some pretty disrespectful things which I regret. They WON'T understand and or refuse to acknowledge that I AM a Christian.

Anyways, three times a week + special meetings I am forced to attend their church. And I HATE it. I am usually not smiling - ever, unfriendly, unsocial, miserable, and the first one out the door.
Once when there was a guest speaker (an extremly proud, hateful, racist, revolting, utterly desgusting PIG and complete JERK), I got in a lot of trouble for walking out 15 minutes before he finished speaking. I had to leave because it was making me sick. (I threw up later on), but I didn't dare tell my parents I felt sick otherwise they would have thought I was demon possessed or something. I was punished for this "extremly disrespectful act" - locked in my room for several hours so that I could read the KING JAMES BIBLE until I was ready to repent for my sins and take a biblical punishment (the "rod").
That is just one instance of which I am punished for being in dissagreement with their Church/standards/beliefs/interpretations of the bible.
I am really not sure how much more of this I can possibly take. I know I am supposed to "honor my parents", and maybe I'm wrong but I feel like by honoring my parents I am not honoring God.

For instance, I wrote a song on my guitar last year and my mother heard me singing it one morning and demanded to know where I picked up that "dreadful style of music", and I told her I'd come up with it myself. She freaked out and started going on and on about how I was worshiping the devil with rock music and that she was going to have to confinscate my guitar!!!! UUUGH. I wrote the song while worshiping GOD. It was a song about his magnificant power. I WAS HONORING GOD. Yes, I like non-traditional praise & worship music. I'm guilty, so shoot me!

OK, this I can take. But I cannot take their church. The church is nasty, legalistic, hateful, RACIST and close-minded. Their church is nothing but a tiny, cheap cardboard box that they all want to cram themselves into, shutting the lid tight, and when something chews a hole through the weak material, they all freak out.

What do I do? Do I need to change my attitude or what? Am I just being a rebellious, self-centered, whiny, little brat feeling sorry for herself, and playing the victim?

Since you 17 years old - your going to have to put up with that no Jesus church. This church sounds they think their denomination is the only "true christian". I know of a denomination like this. Its dreadful! Sadly, they are greatly, greatly deceived and misguided.

The Bride of Christ are those who have "LOVE" first! If there is no love, than one is just a sounding brass and cybal the Bible says. So, I would pray about your parents church because they have zero love and are doing just the exact opposite of what Jesus said to do.

Grow up get out on your own - which sounds like a few years and then you can go to a church that is the Bride of Christ - not the Bride of Dogma.

What I would do is go with the flow and continue to ask yourself what would Jesus do? This is most likely to be a REAL christian witness and pray for them daily that they will let the Holy Spirit guide them not their human worldly depraved spirit.

I prayed for your situation. I can relate - I went to this denomination that I didn't agree with - but I didn't have to deal with any backbiting, etc. This instilled in me a love for God - so I don't regret this when I grew up a few years later. And yes, I went to a church that had love in it. My parents didn't accuse me of not being a christian - never this at all! Thus, they were happy I continued at a church that had love, the Bible and what a real christian was about - a christ like nature.

Hang in there and again shine with the Holy Spirit - you will out shine therefore this depraved place!

 

[inpursuit]

Peacechild.. .literally my heart breaks for you and people like you and even your mother and father..

there are so many legalistic churches with no life in them.. following religion and not Jesus.. having the form of godliness but denying the power

Dude.. You worship, You grab your guitar and give your all to Jesus.. Have a listen to groups like delirious, hillsong united live, starfield, matt redman... these guys have life in them...

While I will not say disobey your parents, but at some point you are going to have to make a stand.. for your relationship with God depends on it.

Know that God loves you, your heart of worship, and this feeling of being displaced and not fitting in with it.. is there for a reason.. feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to.

 

[peacechild]

Thank you EVERYONE for your responces. Your advice, and encouragement has been helpful.

 

[apureheart]

If you want to have fun here are a few things you can do.....

Next time you are eating out with your family after church you could ask if the waitress is sinning by working on Sunday.

Ask if Leviticus 14:47 means that men should do their own laundry.

Ask your parents if they would mind if you kiss a cute boy at church. Why they don't kiss the pastor. There is a scripture that says to greet one another with a holy kiss.

Use real bible words (KJV of course) like methinketh or long-suffering or hath.


Parents are notorious for being overprotective. They remember how bad they were when they were your age. They do not want you to suffer the consequences like they did. So they try to protect you from things that could hurt you. Sometimes when they keep you away from the bad things they also keep you away from good things.

Your story reminds me of two people from the bible. Joseph and David.

The life of Joseph is in about the last ten chapters of Genesis. So many bad things happened to Joseph that totally were not his fault. In each wrong and injustice he suffered he glorified GOD by how he conducted himself. GOD honored Joseph for his obedience.

The life of David starts in the 15th or 16th chapter of 1 Samuel. Soon after his famous encounter with Goliath he was on the run for his life from a jealous king Saul. David loved his king but Saul was out to destroy David. On several occasions David could have killed Saul but would not strike the Lord's annointed. GOD honored David for his obedience.

I would strongly advise you to study the above scriptures and seek the Lord in how this could relate to what you are going thru. If you glorify GOD in the situation you are in GOD will honor you for your obedience.

Remember when Jesus disappeared for a few days while on a family trip. They found Jesus in the temple about his "father's" business. It's a shame they didn't include the discussion that was had in the car on the ride home.

Jesus subjected Himself to the authority of his parents. But He grew in favor with GOD and man while he lived there.

With all that said, I do not believe holiness can be rigidly defined. The Pharisees thought they had everything down pat. Jesus did not live up to the standard of the Pharisees. He lived far above it (but not in their sight).

Delight thyself in the Lord and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

.....peace.....

 

[peacechild]

If you want to have fun here are a few things you can do.....

Next time you are eating out with your family after church you could ask if the waitress is sinning by working on Sunday.

Ask if Leviticus 14:47 means that men should do their own laundry.

Ask your parents if they would mind if you kiss a cute boy at church. Why they don't kiss the pastor. There is a scripture that says to greet one another with a holy kiss.

Use real bible words (KJV of course) like methinketh or long-suffering or hath.

LOL!!! Not a very good idea. They would know I was being disrespectful. I NEVER ask them genuine questions like that. I would get in trouble. And of course they would have their smug little answers... I wouldn't get much fun out of it.