I understand you pov, Gurney, and I know your experience has been not at all good, and I'm sorry for that.
And I'll admit something to you ... When I first started catechesis, and Father kind of put the brakes on a few things, I chafed a bit under being suggested not to follow up on things I was interested in. I should say that Father never took a heavy-handed approach. He was never overbearing, demanding, etc. but rather cautioned me (sometimes strongly) on a few things. And as someone still involved in a Protestant mindset, I didn't really like it.
But I chose to willingly submit at the time - mostly because I knew that if I approached Orthodoxy in outright rebellion and pride, I would never get a true picture in order to know if I should commit to it or not. So, reluctantly at first, I followed his suggestions. Don't read this yet, forget about hesychasm for a little while, shorten my prayer rule, relax my fasting here, be a little more rigorous there, study this instead.
It didn't take long before I started to see the absolute wisdom in some of his suggestions that I had resented at first. My spiritual progress became much more sane, and I got real benefit. Later I began to learn about some of the potential pitfalls he was trying to spare me.
And it is not a matter of "never do this." In fact, the last time we spoke, he gave me some additional guidance, and told me if I want to go ahead with something a little more advanced now, I have his permission, except he said he would need to place me under someone else's guidance for that exercise, as he wanted someone who could better guide me. So he's not above admitting there are some things he's not maybe experienced enough to guide, and he isn't trying to control me or keep me "under" him.
If his manner were different, I might feel differently.
Regarding Seraphim Rose, Father doesn't "hate" him. He spent about an hour and a half explaining toll houses to us, and some things written about them. He said that Fr. Seraphim's writings were a bit controversial, because they could be easily misunderstood, and were not a good thing for a person brand new to Orthodoxy to read on their own.
I got the impression that Father respects him in general, though I think there are other teachings by Fr. Seraphim that he thought might be problematic for a catechumen as well, so he asked me to wait.
Actually, I have more I want to read than I have time for, and such topics as toll houses and advanced hesychasm really have no place in my immediate concerns anyway. I'm completely caught up in St. Theophan the Recluse on prayer, some of the ascetical texts, and St. Nikolai Velimrovich on kind of Orthodox worldview or philosophy. And pretty much chomping at the bit to get into some others I'm VERY interested in ... but most of it comes down to prayer and spiritual life. It's difficult to pull my interest away from that.
But thank you for the warnings. I just wanted to make it clear that, thank God, Father M. isn't at all like that. And when I mention his warnings to anyone else, it's in an attempt only to give helpful suggestions, though I may not take the time to be clear enough about that.
God bless you, my dear brother!
Maybe it's just me, but that whole "in obedience to my priest" thing wore thin on me. My priest had a huge anti-Father Seraphim bias. He encouraged it among newbies and catechumens, and of course the deacon being a consummate suck-up became super opposed to Father Seraphim. They likened his thinking to some cult leader wacko. He told me specifically DO NOT read Father Seraphim's works. Ironically, I found my priest's prohibition of a widely-respected Orthodox monk's books to be read as cult-like! So I read a couple. THEY ARE BRILLIANT! Father Seraphim is extremely patristic, insightful, bright, and holy. I only read two of his books and listened to a bit of his lectures, and I saw nothing of the horror show they make him out to be.
I think when priest's lay down admonitions and prohibitions with that kind of authority, they take over too much of your mind. I am all for obedience, but I think common sense and not checking my brains at the door are a good thing.
Don't let a priest dictate your book list unless you're asking him to read Fifty Shades of Grey!
Father Seraphim helped me so much with evolution and after death understandings. I'm indebted to him for that. Thank goodness I ignored my priest! And we all know how he turned out anyway! He constantly advised me not to gossip, and, well....duh!
These guys are only human. The "spiritual father" aspect of Orthodoxy at first really made sense to me spiritually, but as I saw the HUGE pitfalls with it and the massive human frailty and that this guy half the time is wrong on everything, it gave me pause.
