i posted underneath schizophrenia for a reason
@Noxot.
i had the highest grade in english at school for exam. and i have thought and dreamt in english though it is not my first language
i will keep it simple then.
the
my psychosis still hasnt left me. and i havent read here in a while.
i have had a rough time the past three years. i have been locked up quite a lot.
and people have tried to cure me and treat me.
i havent been online for a long time and the only contact i had with people who believe in christ was by the internet.
i've tried to leave it alone. i got rid off all i wrote. i got rid of my bible and all my belonings.
i arived here in this town called etten-leur with nothing but some clothes and a cell phone, which i havent got anymore.
now i have bought a bible again and i've read matheus marcus and lucas.
i started in john but i was a bit drunk. so i'll restart reading john.
i've read the bible before, some books i have read a dozen times including the letters.
my believe hasnt perished i tried to say farewell but that didnt work obviously.
(i never learned english at school i grew up with english speaking people)
sorry if i am hard to understand but try to imagine that you where me. i see how much i believe when i look back. i still do so. only i am more aware i sound insane perhaps.
i am 30 years of age now. when i came to the thought i am the messiah i was 20 and younger. it wont ever leave me.
i can try to betray myself but it doesnt work.
i cant turn anywhere but a few sites online tot talk about christianity in common and how i live it.
off-line i dont know anybody who i can turn to.
but would anyone call me a liar or a nuthead because i believe?
how about i am a prophet you call me false.
and if you dont call me false i am still denied.
here i go again it seems then.
you shouldt believe in me, believe in reality and christ with that. at least believe.
question me why i think to be the messiah.
and forgive me my mistakes and lack of english and that i am no proffesor.
where can i turn?