The Boundaries of Sex for a Married Couple

[Digit]

Ok, here one for the sounding board:

By sex, I mean more making love, in the sense that it is a loving, tender act between two people sanctified by God's blessing and sealed in marriage. However 'sex' is only three letters and I can type it faster, hence I shall refer to that^^ as sex.

Sex comes in many shapes and forms. S&M, Bondage, Anal, Group etc etc. You all know what I am talking about, so don't pretend otherwise. My question, is, what is acceptable in a Christian marriage?

I am sure people will hit on the 'group' mention, and in this regard I am in 100% agreement, as that totally dishonours the vows of marriage and everything God warned about lust, temptation and adultery. So in regards to the two-peopel acts, what goes and what doesn't?

Discuss.

Digit.

 

[CaliforniaJosiah]

Ok, here one for the sounding board:

Sex comes in many shapes and forms. S&M, Bondage, Anal, Group etc etc. You all know what I am talking about, so don't pretend otherwise. My question, is, what is acceptable in a Christian marriage?

Discuss.

Digit.

Some of my thoughts....
DISCLAIMER: I'm a 19 year old unmarried virgin, LOL...


The BASIC guidelines for married couples:

1. It's private.

2. It's completely and mutually consensual

3. It doesn't hurt.






- Josiah

 

[Nadiine]

I made a post, but it didn't submit.

The Bible clearly states that "the marriage bed is undefiled". There were no stipulations added to that. Whatever 2 people choose to do within marital boundaries is fine (that goes for saved or nonsaved alike).

In cases of rough sex, I'd say there's other past issues they have that they need to recover from. I don't believe that pain & humiliation are forms of love in sexual intimacy -
There's probly some abuse in their backgrounds... even still, I don't view that as sinful when mutually engaged in.

It all goes to the heart. When sin creeps in is when other moral laws are violated during sex...
example: 2 people engaging in sexual intimacy is lawful, but when the spouse is literally fantasizing of being with someone else they lust after during the intimacy, there is sin going on - but not in the act of sex w/ their spouse, for adultery in their heart.

The sin comes in when the HEART is engaging in immorality - not the sex act [itself] btwn the covenanted couple.

 

[Argent]

Some of my thoughts....
DISCLAIMER: I'm a 19 year old unmarried virgin, LOL...


The BASIC guidelines for married couples:

1. It's private.

2. It's completely and mutually consensual

3. It doesn't hurt.






- Josiah

I agree, except #3. There is sometimes a very fine line between pleasure and pain, and crossing that line a little at a certain time in a certain way can be very, very erotic.

 

[n0va]

Im not sure about oral sex, it seems very unheigienic :/

 

[Nadiine]

Im not sure about oral sex, it seems very unheigienic :/

um, just KISSING is unheigenic! Have you read studies of the bacteria in the human mouth alone?
Human bites are more serious than dog bites. I won't get groas here, there are other things that are unheigenic w/ [regular] sex...

 

[Digit]

My brief search after some talking to my fiance revealed:

http://www.themarriagebed.com/pages/bible/app/whatisokay.shtml

A very good read indeed.

Digit

 

[Chie]

Ok, here one for the sounding board:

By sex, I mean more making love, in the sense that it is a loving, tender act between two people sanctified by God's blessing and sealed in marriage. However 'sex' is only three letters and I can type it faster, hence I shall refer to that^^ as sex.

Sex comes in many shapes and forms. S&M, Bondage, Anal, Group etc etc. You all know what I am talking about, so don't pretend otherwise. My question, is, what is acceptable in a Christian marriage?

I am sure people will hit on the 'group' mention, and in this regard I am in 100% agreement, as that totally dishonours the vows of marriage and everything God warned about lust, temptation and adultery. So in regards to the two-peopel acts, what goes and what doesn't?

Discuss.

Digit.

Just like with our walk with Christ so is the marriage bed is to be lined up with the word as well.
If we stay in the boundaries our marriage bed is undefiled.
The link Digit provided is very useful and makes good points in the morality that should be kept between man and woman in the marriage bed.
It is personal, private, and done in respect of our spouse in what one another is comfortable with.

 

[Nadiine]

One other note -- if a person is genuinely born again & walking in the Lord, they'll also be guided by the Holy Spirit in personal conviction regarding sex w/ a spouse.

I think if they were doing 'evil' things, the spirit would alert them directly.
But even still, the bible doesn't give stipulations on the 'marriage bed undefiled' statement... we should be as Chie mentions, in line with all other scriptures & honoring one another's bodie's w/ care, dignity & respect.

(love your wife as Christ loves the church). etc.

 

[Brieuse]

Ok, here one for the sounding board:

By sex, I mean more making love, in the sense that it is a loving, tender act between two people sanctified by God's blessing and sealed in marriage. However 'sex' is only three letters and I can type it faster, hence I shall refer to that^^ as sex.

Sex comes in many shapes and forms. S&M, Bondage, Anal, Group etc etc. You all know what I am talking about, so don't pretend otherwise. My question, is, what is acceptable in a Christian marriage?

I am sure people will hit on the 'group' mention, and in this regard I am in 100% agreement, as that totally dishonours the vows of marriage and everything God warned about lust, temptation and adultery. So in regards to the two-peopel acts, what goes and what doesn't?

Discuss.

Digit.

lol, I've never understood the whole bondage thing. However, each to his/her own I guess. I don't recall seeing any rules in the Bible.

 

[intricatic]

Anything that fits with an expression of unpolluted love and bonding.

8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the Spirit[b]is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), 10 finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. 11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. 13 But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. 14 Therefore He says:
“ Awake, you who sleep,
Arise from the dead,
And Christ will give you light.”
(Ephesians 5)

 

[jad123]

While I agree with what everyone has said since I have not seen the opposite view point posted I thought I would bring up that there are many Christians (denominations) that believe the sex is for the sole purpose of procreation. If that is truly the case then sex involving oral, anal, hand, and especially group etc. would not be allowed in the Christian bed.

 

[Chie]

While I agree with what everyone has said since I have not seen the opposite view point posted I thought I would bring up that there are many Christians (denominations) that believe the sex is for the sole purpose of procreation. If that is truly the case then sex involving oral, anal, hand, and especially group etc. would not be allowed in the Christian bed.

Does that mean since I can not have children now , me and my husband can no longer have sex ?

 

[Piedpiper123]

Does that mean since I can not have children now , me and my husband can no longer have sex ?

Very good question! I hope we can get an answer from Rome.

 

[mcart909]

I thought I would bring up that there are many Christians (denominations) that believe the sex is for the sole purpose of procreation.

Please do not perpetuate this myth which non-Christians often point to as an example of Christian lunacy. There is NOT ONE major Christian denomination which teaches that sex is for procreation only. Not one.

 

[LadyGarnetRose]

Some of my thoughts....
DISCLAIMER: I'm a 19 year old unmarried virgin, LOL...


The BASIC guidelines for married couples:

1. It's private.

2. It's completely and mutually consensual

3. It doesn't hurt.






- Josiah

Agree as well, and again #3...

For a woman, there will be hurt in the marriage bed.

 

[andross77]

While I agree with what everyone has said since I have not seen the opposite view point posted I thought I would bring up that there are many Christians (denominations) that believe the sex is for the sole purpose of procreation. If that is truly the case then sex involving oral, anal, hand, and especially group etc. would not be allowed in the Christian bed.

The entire book of Song of Solomon would disagree with the "denominations" you are talking about. I think there are many good posts in this thread; good job people

 

[mcart909]

The Catholic Church does NOT believe sex is for procreation only--nor does any other major Christian denomination.

 

[Nadiine]

While I agree with what everyone has said since I have not seen the opposite view point posted I thought I would bring up that there are many Christians (denominations) that believe the sex is for the sole purpose of procreation. If that is truly the case then sex involving oral, anal, hand, and especially group etc. would not be allowed in the Christian bed.

I appreciate that you bring this up - most people disagree. & I sure disagree becuz it's just common sense that a couple is FREE sexually within the boundaries of marriage.
Why would God have you TEMPTED to "sin" as your spouse is in the home with you overnite, every nite, in a nighty or whatever (flannel feet jammies? hehe).
God would have you TEMPTED nite & day till you try to have kids?
That makes no sense to me.

If someone feels that's what God commands, then I certainly HOPE their spouse is in agreement!!!!!!!!!!!!! & they should have told their spouse that PRIOR to marrying!
I don't think that would go over too well with alot of men (ones that aren't 100 yrs old or more)

 

[tiredwalker]

Agree as well, and again #3...

For a woman, there will be hurt in the marriage bed

I've never been hurt in bed, and I'm a woman.

Im not sure about oral sex, it seems very unheigienic :/

So is regular sex. This is why God created water and soap. Don't knock oral sex till you try it