I once dated a man who "didn't want to be controlled' like his wife controlled their life (she died). "I am a grown man and can make MY OWN decisions" was his declaration. So I always stepped back and asked him his opinion on things. He often had a hard time formulating these and eventually left me for a woman who actually told him what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. He didn't really want to make any decision beyond where he was going to eat his dinner. They were a good match.
That's a very good anecdotal instance.
What kind of set me on this thread was somebody who seemed very friendly but something just kept rubbing me the wrong way and made my stomach turn a little. It was like that final straw that broke the camels back. It sounds weird, but with enough racism (long story. But I do still really appreciate different cultures even though it's bad to be white here), and stings it'll get you.
I guess, as time passes you understand what you want, and don't want.
My goal is to look at myself, then see my faults, and what personality works best for me.
Be it with friends, or something else.
In the end I agree it can be hard to see yourself correctly in the mirror.
Also, you might not get what you want initially since it's not what's best.
I asked my 17 year old sister some questions and she's the same with how people are here along with just being over them all (and whole family it seems). I think it'll change when we all move, but for now I'm going to try to not put myself out there for anybody until things are a little more normal which assuredly this rock isn't.
