the bible must say somewhere that it is grounds for divorce if...
your hubby forbids for you to fill the car up w/gas. so you don't. then you're stranded on a dark, lonely, road & there is no house in sight for 2 miles, to call your hubby and ask him to get a friend and a can, to get the vehicle started again...
and so as not to make the men feel i am bashing them...
the bible must say somewhere that it is grounds for divorce if the man comes home and finds out the wife got this yen to redecorate the bathroom w/this elaborate fish scheme... so she paints the bathroom this deep deep deep-gonna-have-to-put-5-layers-of-white-to-get-rid-of-it blue on the wall, and she let the kids help her, so the toilet is blue, the pipes are blue, the sink is blue, and the floor is blue. and the fish she painted?? well, she is not artistic at all, and the kids are better than she is, but not that much, and so there are fish painted on the walls that look like little cars (the boys must have painted those) the jellyfish look like octopuses...sort of... and one of the teenagers painted these really beautiful fish, but she decided to put artistic flair into it and painted the whole school of fish upside down!
the bible must say somewhere that it is grounds for divorce if the man comes home to find a huge hole in the ceiling, cuz the woman was in the attic trying to get out a suitcase, saw a dollar in the "white fuzzy stuff" and bent over, w/the suitcase to try to pick up the dollar... needless to say, she lost her balance, fell in between the rafters, and did severe damage to the ceiling...like the moneypit hole... ahem...
the bible must say somewhere that it is grounds for divorce if hubby tells you not to turn the subwoofer on anymore because you constantly forget to turn it off, and while he is at work you do anyway. you get caught because when you do, there is a big bam, and a snap crackle pop noise roaring thru the house, and of a volume of 1-10, you could swear the thing read 2 when you turned it on--which you blink and rub your eyes, it says 2. it was just maybe that God wanted you to get caught trying to do something behind your hubby's back to choose that moment for it to break. what's worse, is that after you check wires, you turn it off and pretend like you never had it on--but hubby knows you did because the wires are all funny looking--therefore you knew it wasn't working, ergo you had it on... oops.
folks, i did 2 of these 3 things. neighbor did the left over one. guess which 2 i did... sigh.
Merry Christmas everyone!!!
