Teaching Your Kids About Sex

[jdharrison37]

I'm a father of two and a professional Christian counselor so I talk with a lot of parents about this topic (all over the spectrum). So I'm curious -- What is the #1 biggest challenge you struggle with when it comes to teaching your kids about sex (at any age)?

*In addition to answering the question, I would really appreciate you taking 60 seconds to take this very brief survey: https://jonathan127.typeform.com/to/CyLfye

 

[football5680]

I don't think it is necessary because kids will learn over time and it is nearly impossible to shield them from everything. I never got the talk but I'm not still wondering where babies come from. Everybody knows that the stork comes and puts the baby on your front porch.

I just think it would be better to avoid the most awkward conversation you will have in your life.

 

[Darkhorse]

Teaching my kids about sex wasn't awkward or difficult.

Sex is fun; sex is life-affirming; sex is easy to understand (because everyone has sexual feelings); sex is interesting; sex is holy.

Of course, it has its risks, but kids (and adults) need to know about those in detail, in order to avoid them.

The most difficult thing I have tried to teach my kids is the details of human evil.
They need to know about those too.

 

[TheDag]

I don't think it is necessary because kids will learn over time and it is nearly impossible to shield them from everything. I never got the talk but I'm not still wondering where babies come from. Everybody knows that the stork comes and puts the baby on your front porch.

I just think it would be better to avoid the most awkward conversation you will have in your life.

Why do awkward conversations have to be avoided? Sometimes they are a neccessary part of life.

 

[football5680]

Why do awkward conversations have to be avoided? Sometimes they are a necessary part of life.

"I don't think it is necessary......."

If I thought it was necessary then the fact that it would be an awkward conversation would be irrelevant. Personally I don't think it is necessary so the awkwardness can be avoided.

 

[Dave-W]

Why do you think it is not necessary?

Do you have children?

 

[Armoured]

"I don't think it is necessary......."

If I thought it was necessary then the fact that it would be an awkward conversation would be irrelevant. Personally I don't think it is necessary so the awkwardness can be avoided.

How do you expect kids to make good decisions without access to all the facts?

 

[TheDag]

"I don't think it is necessary......."

If I thought it was necessary then the fact that it would be an awkward conversation would be irrelevant. Personally I don't think it is necessary so the awkwardness can be avoided.

Ok seems strange to me but thanks for explaining.

I guess I approach it from my experience. It would have been better to have known more. From a parents persepctive I would rather guide my son towards helpful information rather than unhelpful. I see guys at work boasting about sleeping with all these different women. If I just leave it up to him then I can very much imagine those kinds of influences being around.
I am also mindful that they are finding people expectations are being shaped more and more by what they see in the movies which is just acting and when reality hits then it becomes a problem in the marriage that can cause massive rift which could even end a marriage.

 

[Dave-W]

I suspect football's reason for thinking it is not necessary is the mistaken idea that all sexual desire and expression comes from knowledge - so if you keep them ignorant you keep them moral and they will have an easy time of being single. (no desires, etc.)

 

[Armoured]

I suspect football's reason for thinking it is not necessary is the mistaken idea that all sexual desire and expression comes from knowledge - so if you keep them ignorant you keep them moral and they will have an easy time of being single. (no desires, etc.)

Yes, the old "if I don't teach my kids about car accidents, they don't need to use seatbelts" argument.

 

[Dave-W]

Yes, the old "if I don't teach my kids about car accidents, they don't need to use seatbelts" argument.

Yeah - pretty much.

 

[Sabertooth]

I taught my kids about their own bodies, sex & pregnancy, STDs and answered questions about contraception, but I did not volunteer so-called safe sex strategies. I wanted them to retain some fear of the potential consequences of promiscuity.

 

[Mayzoo]

If we chose to not teach our kids about sex and our values about sex, then our kids will substitute someone elses values and information about sex in place of where ours should be. I would not want my child using another child's sexual values and misinformation shared in secrecy and humiliation.

My child and I have been discussing anatomy since she was old enough to understand what I was saying. The complexity has increased over time and begins to include sexual information when they ask or when you believe they can handle the information. Sex, IMO, is not a one time conversation ("the talk"). IMO, it is a conversation repeatedly had in progressing steps until just beyond when the child stops listening to you about sex---"Moooom, s e r i o u s l y??". By then, you should have covered all the basic information and shared your values about sex. Then the child can "steep" this information over time and make informed decisions.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

I taught my kids about their own bodies, sex & pregnancy, STDs and answered questions about contraception, but I did not volunteer so-called safe sex strategies. I wanted them to retain some fear of the potential consequences of promiscuity.

So you will be part of the blame, if your kids get pregnant or a STD. I have love ones, that know all about STD. Because we have family members, that have HIV. It didn't scare them out of having sex. I was taught about birth control. So at least I know to go to be protected. They didn't use protection when they were teens. But when they got pregnant or STD's they knew to go the doctors. Some even aborted. Your kids will find out some where.

 

[keith99]

I suspect football's reason for thinking it is not necessary is the mistaken idea that all sexual desire and expression comes from knowledge - so if you keep them ignorant you keep them moral and they will have an easy time of being single. (no desires, etc.)

Does this mean the average, oops amend that, dogs in the 1 percentile (meaning all but the stupidest 1%) for knowledge are more knowledgeable than his kids?

 

[grandvizier1006]

So you will be part of the blame, if your kids get pregnant or a STD. I have love ones, that know all about STD. Because we have family members, that have HIV. It didn't scare them out of having sex. I was taught about birth control. So at least I know to go to be protected. They didn't use protection when they were teens. But when they got pregnant or STD's they knew to go the doctors. Some even aborted. Your kids will find out some where.

Coudl you leave him alone? He chose to make sure that his kids weren't promiscuous. We don't all have to have this notion that "sex inevitable if you are under 30". It wasn't for me! Plus, two of his kids are low-functioning autistics who don't have the intellectual capacity for that. There's a way to discourage sex until the time is appropriate so that your kids don't end up ever having to worry about stds.

And honestly, young people know how to just google stuff for "safe" sex. If the only thing you need to stop him is a thin sheet of latex then it's a no brainier how to put one on and a no brainier in checking to make sure you and your lover are clean.

 

[Sabertooth]

I let them know about STDs. I just would feel convicted before God if I would ever offer the advice, "If you ever want to have promiscuous/adulterous sex, safely, here's what you do..."

“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!" Jesus, in Matthew 18:6-7 NIV

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

Coudl you leave him alone? He chose to make sure that his kids weren't promiscuous. We don't all have to have this notion that "sex inevitable if you are under 30". It wasn't for me!

You think because he uses scare tactics , doesn't teaches his kids about safe sex or birth control. His kids aren't going to be promiscuous. I known people that did the same thing as him. And their kids ended up being promiscuous.

 

[Sabertooth]

They might very well become promiscuous, but I am not going to be the one that promotes it.

 

[lanternburning]

Wow. Some of you really don't know what parenting is, do you? Step up and PARENT YOUR KIDS! They trust you to provide them food, shelter and love. Why can't they trust you with questions about life? They need to know that they can come to you with questions. Sex education in public schools in america is terrible and inconsistent. Don't rely on other people or the media to parent your kids! Not properly educating your kids is how they end up pregnant.