Summer Clothing and Modesty

[Verve]

I'm going through my summer clothes and I was thinking about how there are just some things I feel are inappropriate and draw "the wrong kind of attention" but I also like to feel fashionable.

Where do you draw the line with modesty?
How much skin is too much?
Guys, feel free to reply as well.

I don't look too much at men's fashion but I've noticed the large number of guys who have been parading around town shirtless the past couple of weeks.

 

[kevlite2020]

I'm going through my summer clothes and I was thinking about how there are just some things I feel are inappropriate and draw "the wrong kind of attention" but I also like to feel fashionable.

Where do you draw the line with modesty?
How much skin is too much?
Guys, feel free to reply as well.

I don't look too much at men's fashion but I've noticed the large number of guys who have been parading around town shirtless the past couple of weeks.

The one thing I'll never understand about women is how they will wear stuff that has their boobs all hanging out, and if a guy as much as glances at it, they call him a perv and/or shoot him dirty looks. It's pretty comical to me. It's like, if you aren't in business, don't advertise.

So to answer your question: wear whatever you are comfortable with. But make sure you are comfortable with it. If you are showing things that you don't want anybody to look at, it's your responsibility to change it. And guys will look. Doesn't matter if you are on the beach or at church, the crowd doesn't make a difference, guys will take notice.

 

[mina]

I don't wear too short shorts or too low tops. I don't show my mid section. Everything important is well covered. I love that longer shorts are now in style. I usually like wearing skirts or sundresses in the summer b/c it feels a lot cooler. I like that maxi dresses are in style. I don't feel bad showing my arms in sleeveless stuff, b/c it is A LOT cooler. and I keep it extremely modest.

 

[Sapphyre]

It's like, if you aren't in business, don't advertise.

Also, agreed. It doesn't get all that hot here, especially in the summer, but it's always seemed to me that if you can see someone's underwear there's a problem.

 

[TanteBelle]

I'm going through my summer clothes and I was thinking about how there are just some things I feel are inappropriate and draw "the wrong kind of attention" but I also like to feel fashionable.

Where do you draw the line with modesty?
How much skin is too much?
Guys, feel free to reply as well.

I don't look too much at men's fashion but I've noticed the large number of guys who have been parading around town shirtless the past couple of weeks.

If it's see through, if it's so tight it leaves nothing to the imagination, if it's so short, you can't sit down without fear of someone looking up you, if it's so low that your 'sisters' are greeting everyone first, and if it's so high that your gut is being flashed, don't wear it! Leave it at home behind closed doors if you're married! Edith Head, a Hollywood fashion designer put it nicely; 'Your clothes should be tight enough to show that you are a woman but loose enough to show that you are a lady!' As the old saying goes, 'If you're not in business, don't advertise!' Blokes are going to have a far harder time focusing on the heart of you if you're flashing the shell of you!

My rule for blokes is the same. 'What's good for the goose is good for the gander', so if I can take care to cover myself up, I expect you to as well! Blokes who walk around with no shirts on are merely half dressed!

 

[Wren]

Thank you for mentioning shirtless guys! I know a lot of men would like to pretend that women don't have eyes (or the ability to lust) but we do.

It's not really an issue of modesty with me, so much as insecurity due to my many years of being fat. But it is summer and guys are going to see that I have breasts. No, they won't see the actual things, but if they look at my shirt/blouse, they'll see that underneath I may have the ability to breast feed. I do my best to be covered*, but I'm not going to wear clothing that is excessively large so that guys don't get all worked up. If they have that big of a problem with lust, then that's an issue that they need to work on themselves.


*I don't wear sleeveless tops or shorts because of the former fat issue. I also don't wear tops or bottoms that seem tight, rather than fitted. And my pants/jeans are at a normal level and not so low that they get a plumber-like view.

 

[Amber.ly]

I don't wear too short shorts or too low tops. I don't show my mid section. Everything important is well covered. I love that longer shorts are now in style. I usually like wearing skirts or sundresses in the summer b/c it feels a lot cooler. I like that maxi dresses are in style. I don't feel bad showing my arms in sleeveless stuff, b/c it is A LOT cooler. and I keep it extremely modest.

Umm, yes to all of this. Mina and I are on the same wavelength lol

I LOVE dresses so summer is a perfect excuse to doll up in sun dresses and funky jewelry. To keep it modest I just pair my dresses (which are mostly V-neck) with a lightweight tank top.

I also love the combo of a simple cotton skirt and t-shirt.

If you go on OldNavy I bet I own over 75% of the dresses they offer

 

[TanteBelle]

Thank you for mentioning shirtless guys! I know a lot of men would like to pretend that women don't have eyes (or the ability to lust) but we do.

It's not really an issue of modesty with me, so much as insecurity due to my many years of being fat. But it is summer and guys are going to see that I have breasts. No, they won't see the actual things, but if they look at my shirt/blouse, they'll see that underneath I may have the ability to breast feed. I do my best to be covered, but I'm not going to wear clothing that is excessively large so that guys don't get all worked up. If they have that big of a problem with lust, then that's an issue that they need to work on themselves.

I don't know why blokes think that busty girls have more ability to feed babies than flat chested girls!?

 

[Amber.ly]

I grew up with four brothers so seeing a guy shirtless isn't a big deal for me. Doesn't matter what they look like, I just don't see it as a modesty thing.

But I suppose if you are not immune to it that it could be an issue...

 

[kevlite2020]

I hate seeing shirtless guys around. I've gone on long runs in 90 degree weather, and not once did I think, man this would be a lot easier if I could just take my shirt off! Guys do that to show off, and most of the guys that do this don't have the body to really show off in the first place, it's just nasty. Down here, most of the shirtless running guys are well over 50.

On the beach I totally understand, I walk around there with a shirt off too, because we want to get some sun. But again, if I wasn't comfortable with girls seeing me with a shirt off, I wouldn't take it off ever.

 

[CaliforniaJosiah]

I'm going through my summer clothes and I was thinking about how there are just some things I feel are inappropriate and draw "the wrong kind of attention" but I also like to feel fashionable.

Where do you draw the line with modesty?
How much skin is too much?
Guys, feel free to reply as well.

I don't look too much at men's fashion but I've noticed the large number of guys who have been parading around town shirtless the past couple of weeks.

Two SIMPLE things to keep in mind:


1. What is your PURPOSE? If it is your INTENT to cause others to lust (is that possible? Can ANYONE force ANYONE to feel ANYTHING) - then your INTENT is wrong - regardless of what the result is.


2. Is it APPROPRIATE to the culture and situation? What's appropriate in 2011 on the North Shore of Ohau may not be in 1951 at the coronation of Queen Elizabeth at Westminister Abby in England. Think.



I grew up in a beach town in southern California. I was a bit of a "beach bum." For DAYS, I wore board shorts - and sandles. No shirt. This could go one for DAYS (um, different board shorts - I showered at least once a day, lol). It's what ALL GUYS wore around the beach and vincinity. Now, before I went into some store or whatever - I either LOOKED to see what people were wearing or LOOKED for a sign, and if nothing indicated that shirtless was okay - I didn't enter. It's called respect. It's called curtesy. Would I go to church dressed like that? Obviously not. I wore long pants, collared shirt - maybe even a tie.

Now, if some girl "lusted" at my bod, whether on the beach OR at church - that's HER problem, I did nothing with that intent and nothing inappropriate for the culture and situation.

I don't find it all that complicated. I don't know why a few girls do. I strongly suspect girls KNOW what's customary and what their INTENT is. Looking beautiful, looking attractive is GREAT - go for it! Being the "s" word, PURPOSELY trying to bring about lust - that's a different enchilada. And I think girls know that.



Just MY $0.01


- Josiah




.

 

[TanteBelle]

I grew up with four brothers so seeing a guy shirtless isn't a big deal for me. Doesn't matter what they look like, I just don't see it as a modesty thing.

But I suppose if you are not immune to it that it could be an issue...

Yeah, I grew up with 2 big bros and they had a thing with walking around shirtless and I didn't mind. Until they left home and I learned to be shy of such things all over again! LOL! I rather like that. My Pa and I were checking in on a job to be done and as we walked back to the truck he commented to me on the blokes' tats all over his chest. I'm like, 'What tats?' He wasn't wearing a shirt, so I'm not looking at him! I didn't even notice any tats!

 

[Wren]

I grew up with four brothers so seeing a guy shirtless isn't a big deal for me. Doesn't matter what they look like, I just don't see it as a modesty thing.

But I suppose if you are not immune to it that it could be an issue...

I have a brother (and around male cousins), but he didn't make me immune. If I see a guy who looks like he works out and isn't wearing a shirt, I'll admit that I may happen to glance at him a wee bit longer than I should.

 

[TanteBelle]

I hate seeing shirtless guys around. I've gone on long runs in 90 degree weather, and not once did I think, man this would be a lot easier if I could just take my shirt off! Guys do that to show off, and most of the guys that do this don't have the body to really show off in the first place, it's just nasty. Down here, most of the shirtless running guys are well over 50.

On the beach I totally understand, I walk around there with a shirt off too, because we want to get some sun. But again, if I wasn't comfortable with girls seeing me with a shirt off, I wouldn't take it off ever.

I had a lot of respect for an Israeli bloke my family and I took in. On his facebook, he's got sooo many pics of him shirtless but when he stayed with us, we girls didn't even have to ask him, he just wore a shirt at all times, even swimming!!!!

 

[Amber.ly]

I have a brother, but he didn't make me immune. If I see a guy who looks like he works out and isn't wearing a shirt, I'll admit that I may happen to glance at him a wee bit longer than I should.

I guess we all have our Kryptonite


Mine is guys in baseball caps

 

[Wren]

I guess we all have our Kryptonite


Mine is guys in baseball caps

I think a lot of it is socialization. Women are seen more as objects of desire, so we are told to be careful to cover up. I mean, men are raised with sisters and that doesn't make them lust less.

Oh, and I like baseball caps, too.

 

[IreneAdler]

Where do you draw the line with modesty?
How much skin is too much?

Honestly, modesty for me is situational. Like you wouldn't be caught dead at church in a bathing suit right, but it's appropriate at the beach. It also depends on who I'm around. If I'm just around family/my girls I have no problem in a bikini but at the public pool I'll wear a t-shirt or shorts over it.
I guess for me too much skin would be showing pubic hair (yes, I know, gross) or only covering up nipples. I find the human body to be beautiful so it doesn't really bother me to see most of it.

 

[TanteBelle]

Honestly, modesty for me is situational. Like you wouldn't be caught dead at church in a bathing suit right, but it's appropriate at the beach. It also depends on who I'm around. If I'm just around family/my girls I have no problem in a bikini but at the public pool I'll wear a t-shirt or shorts over it.
I guess for me too much skin would be showing pubic hair (yes, I know, gross) or only covering up nipples. I find the human body to be beautiful so it doesn't really bother me to see most of it.

I had a bloke suggest I join a group of women who drive bobcats and loaders and such in bikinis, I replied that I wouldn't even be caught dead in a bikini!!! Personally, modesty is never a situational issue. Dressing to the occasion is. I never wear a bikini or anything skimpy no matter where I am. Maybe it's also because I fail to see the human body as beautiful.

 

[IreneAdler]

Could be, but I draw nudes and work medical so yeah, not bothered at all by it, and in fact, I can find beauty in just about any shape.

One person's skimpy is another's solution to 113 degree weather. lol. I think like someone else said, if I'm not looking for that kind of attention, and give off a vibe of respectability it's not my issue, it's someone else's. Frankly no one ever bothers me so I think it's obvious who I am regardless of a bikini or turtleneck.

 

[TanteBelle]

Could be, but I draw nudes and work medical so yeah, not bothered at all by it, and in fact, I can find beauty in just about any shape.

One person's skimpy is another's solution to 113 degree weather. lol. I think like someone else said, if I'm not looking for that kind of attention, and give off a vibe of respectability it's not my issue, it's someone else's. Frankly no one ever bothers me so I think it's obvious who I am regardless of a bikini or turtleneck.

Egh. That does sound terrible, no offence intended! I can admire the human body as a machine but anything else is just beyond me!

And then you get girls like me who are harassed even if you're wearing baggy jeans and long baggy shirts in 35 degrees celcius! But in my own conscience, I know that there is no possible way that I was showing off anything attractive, therefore it is fair and squarely his own issue! I mean, some blokes are going to be real creeps even if you're dressed in a burkah.