So confused

[christine27]

I rededicated my life to Christ 8 years ago shortly after having my first child.
recently I feel that God is calling me to leave my husband. I know what the bible says about devorce. And I am confused, I'm not sure if its Gods calling me to leave or the devil trying to make a bigger mess of things. All I know for certian is that, whether I stay or go, I want God to be with me. I fear that if I make the wrong choise I will have ended up stepping out of Gods will for my life, and as a result, have stepped away from His grace.
I wont go into detail the reasons for my leaving, simply because peolple are quick to tell me to leave when I do. It doesn't matter to me what I suffer, as long as I have the Lord with me through it.
How do I decide what Gods will for me is when what I am hearing plainly controdicts what it says in the the Bible.
If you feel God has given you some insite to my problem, please pass it along.

 

[achristiantech]

I rededicated my life to Christ 8 years ago shortly after having my first child.
recently I feel that God is calling me to leave my husband. I know what the bible says about devorce. And I am confused, I'm not sure if its Gods calling me to leave or the devil trying to make a bigger mess of things. All I know for certian is that, whether I stay or go, I want God to be with me. I fear that if I make the wrong choise I will have ended up stepping out of Gods will for my life, and as a result, have stepped away from His grace.
I wont go into detail the reasons for my leaving, simply because peolple are quick to tell me to leave when I do. It doesn't matter to me what I suffer, as long as I have the Lord with me through it.
How do I decide what Gods will for me is when what I am hearing plainly controdicts what it says in the the Bible.
If you feel God has given you some insite to my problem, please pass it along.

I don't know about your particular situation, but I do know this. God speaks to us through our trials, other people, His Word, circumstances, fellow Christians, many, many ways, yet much of the time we aren't listening or if we do hear we don't want to believe it is from Him so we kind of ignore it. We know that a marriage that God has ordained is suppose to be for life, not necessarily a good life nor a trouble free life. However, He abhors it when one or both marriage partners are being mentally or physically abusive of the other, or when one partner or the other commits adultery violating the sanctity of marriage, which has become all too frequent in today's immoral society.

Having said that, you may want to reconsider tossing off the well meaning suggestions of your close friends if you know them to be Christians that walk closely with the Lord. There is a reason why there are places for the abused woman and/or children. Since you have a child or more it's even more important to place them first in regards to their safety and well being. I'm not privy to your situation, but please don't ignore what may be God's way of telling you His plans for you.

Certainly God is with you, He will never leave nor forsake you, so it's important that you understand His Will for you and your situation. Staying in a situation that is dangerous or harmful is not in God's Will.

Of course satan attacks marriages, but remember it takes two to make the marriage work. If one of you is responding to satan and has taken their eyes off Jesus then your marriage will be messed up. I know. I've been where you are, I let satan have his way with me for I wasn't walking with the Lord and now I regret my decisions at the time.

Only you can make the decision as to what is best, but believe that God will take this mess and clean it up and good can come out of it. But something has to change in your marriage, you can't continue to allow what's been going on to continue. Trust your instincts, keep your faith in God, but most of all see that those children and you are safe from harm.

Many of us in this forum, including myself are sending prayers up to the heavens and God is listening. Now it's your turn to listen. Jesus loves you.

 

[Big Country]

I'm not privy to your situation, but please don't ignore what may be God's way of telling you His plans for you.

There's no more sure-fire way to know what God wants than to read it right out of His Word. The Bible is very emphatic that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16 among others). In the absence of knowing the specifics of your situation, I would have to say that God is NOT calling you to leave your husband.

For the sake of conversation, here's a few limited cases where I would still advise someone to leave there spouse:
1. If you or your children are in danger.
2. If he is cheating and refuses to repent.
3. If there's some other law-breaking going on that you can't be associated with. In this case I would advise you to turn him in and let him leave (in a police car...).

 

[spirituality-in-Christ]

I rededicated my life to Christ 8 years ago shortly after having my first child.
recently I feel that God is calling me to leave my husband. I know what the bible says about devorce. And I am confused, I'm not sure if its Gods calling me to leave or the devil trying to make a bigger mess of things. All I know for certian is that, whether I stay or go, I want God to be with me. I fear that if I make the wrong choise I will have ended up stepping out of Gods will for my life, and as a result, have stepped away from His grace.
I wont go into detail the reasons for my leaving, simply because peolple are quick to tell me to leave when I do. It doesn't matter to me what I suffer, as long as I have the Lord with me through it.
How do I decide what Gods will for me is when what I am hearing plainly controdicts what it says in the the Bible.
If you feel God has given you some insite to my problem, please pass it along.

I agree with what the other two have said. I just want to make one thing really clear to you though. Whether you stay or you leave and whether it is the right choice or the wrong choice, God still LOVES YOU! And nothing in all creation can separate us from his love so whatever you do in this situation you won't be able to step outside of his grace. God still loves people who get divorced even when all their friends tell them they shouldn't. It sounds like you have much better reasons than that, so God isn't going to love you any less.

The Bible does give grounds for divorce in the case of unfaithfulness. In the case of physical abuse, I went to a wedding this weekend and I heard the man say that he would "love, honour and cherish". Physical abuse is the total opposite of that and in a way a man who does that is revoking the promise he made so he could have no right to expect that a woman should tolerate such behaviour. I won't say any more as this may not be relevant to your situation. God bless you.

 

[childofGod31]

I rededicated my life to Christ 8 years ago shortly after having my first child.
recently I feel that God is calling me to leave my husband. I know what the bible says about devorce. And I am confused, I'm not sure if its Gods calling me to leave or the devil trying to make a bigger mess of things. All I know for certian is that, whether I stay or go, I want God to be with me. I fear that if I make the wrong choise I will have ended up stepping out of Gods will for my life, and as a result, have stepped away from His grace.
I wont go into detail the reasons for my leaving, simply because peolple are quick to tell me to leave when I do. It doesn't matter to me what I suffer, as long as I have the Lord with me through it.
How do I decide what Gods will for me is when what I am hearing plainly controdicts what it says in the the Bible.
If you feel God has given you some insite to my problem, please pass it along.

Just so you know, Apostle Paul did not think it was a good idea to leave one's husband. If the husband leaves YOU, that's another thing. Then you can let him go. But I don't think God would call anything to leave the marriage...

1CO 7:13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.
16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
17 Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

 

[christine27]

Thank you all for you comments. I am familiar with 1 co 7:13. This verse has held me in my marriage for years already. My husband has accepted my views and even attends church with me. Although, now knowing the saving grace of God, he continues to live the life of a sinner. He refuses to turn away from his addictions, anger, hatred ext. although when he is confronted he is always remorsful. So I live by the scripture of Luke 17:2-4 Even if he sins against you 7 times and then repents 7 times, forgive him each time. But now I feel God is unwilling to let him continue in his ways. I believe God has a plan to hold him accountable and GOd has provided me with many scripures that indicate that the time has come, I do believe that much like Lot, me and my children can be spared because we have live faithfully befor him, but this is where I become confused. I feel God calling me out of this place befor his coming rath, but still it contradicts what the Bible says about marriage.

 

[Bridgit]

There is another option available. You two can get legally separated for a while without going all the way to the divorce.

Separation have healed many marriages.

I will pray for you!

 

[Big Country]

Thank you all for you comments. I am familiar with 1 co 7:13. This verse has held me in my marriage for years already. My husband has accepted my views and even attends church with me. Although, now knowing the saving grace of God, he continues to live the life of a sinner. He refuses to turn away from his addictions, anger, hatred ext. although when he is confronted he is always remorsful. So I live by the scripture of Luke 17:2-4 Even if he sins against you 7 times and then repents 7 times, forgive him each time. But now I feel God is unwilling to let him continue in his ways. I believe God has a plan to hold him accountable and GOd has provided me with many scripures that indicate that the time has come, I do believe that much like Lot, me and my children can be spared because we have live faithfully befor him, but this is where I become confused. I feel God calling me out of this place befor his coming rath, but still it contradicts what the Bible says about marriage.

So are you worried about getting hit with some kind of wrath ricochet? Wouldn't worry about that. Only God can change hearts. Keep praying and living a pure life in front of your husband. He'll come around (I did...).

 

[achristiantech]

I feel God calling me out of this place before his coming wrath, but still it contradicts what the Bible says about marriage.

God's wrath or your husband's?

Remember, we are all sinners and fall short of the glory. Too many wives have stayed in failed marriages where the husband is abusive and horrific things can happen. Your main responsibility is to those kids that God gave you. Your life and theirs may be in jeopardy. Sounds harsh, but we don't want to hear about you on the frontpage of some local newspaper. God understands and will forgive you. Please listen to Him.

 

[meloniej]

If your husband is cheating or beating on you and he isnt approving on his actions then you need to leave him. Yes the Bible says that divorcing is wrong and that its a sin, but also at the same time God wants you to be safe. If it doesnt deal with your safety then i think that marriage counseling should be involved and try to work your marriage out.

 

[fffaux]

when you got married you must have made the decision knowing that you would be with him your entire life. if these problems can be worked out, then do so. but talk to your husband, you are married to him, you should be able to work thgings our properly.

 

[Johnnz]

The Scriptures on divorce have not been well understood and taught for ages. However, that is slowly being readdressed by better understanding of time and context. Divorce is not God's preference at all. Not is being unnecessarily restrictive either.

John
NZ