Should I be myself or be Christian?

[ColdTurkey]

I'm really struggling. For my entire life my identity has been in being a Christian. When I was young, I got the following messages:
1) There is no fulfillment to be found within this life alone and to invest in worldly things is foolish.
2) There is someone you should be. Sure, everyone's different, but ideally you'd have the interests, passions, and attitudes that are most Christian.
3) God and eternal life are what matter. Focusing on anything else is foolish.
4) Humans are foolish by themselves and can only do good when looking through a Christian lens. There is nothing worse than straying from the path.

I heard these messages and responded like this: "Hmm, so I can't invest in this life, I would be disappointing if I wasn't this 'ideal' person, and humans in themselves are prone to wander. Well, it looks like there are pitfalls everywhere and the only safe thing to do is to be Christian and never look back. I must never allow myself to step even an inch away from Christianity. It's too risky."

So what I wound up with was an approach to life wherein being myself doesn't matter. All that matters is staying spiritually aligned. I've lived 22 years now and have never really defined myself or developed any passions because my focus has been on staying on the path, being who I should be. Every part of me that might have grown was stunted by the part of me that would ask, "Is that who you should be? You must remain correct. You must let your identity lie only in God. Don't tempt yourself with non-spiritual interests." So what I have is a self that is not really me at all. Have you heard "God first, others second, I'm third"? Well, I've taken that in a way that makes my natural identity the last thing allowed to be dealt with.

I've been in counseling lately and my counselor says I should be myself first and Christian second. He means that I should have an identity in myself as a human and from there choose Christianity. This feels very backward to me. Trust my own convictions? Give credit to what my mind actually thinks? That terrifies me. What if I cut the safety tether I have with Christianity and start interpreting life on my own? I might in my freedom decide that Christianity is not true! Then I'd pay for the consequences eternally.

So what I'm looking for is this: should I be myself first and foremost (whether that results in me being a Christian or not) or should I continue forcing my adherence to Christianity because it's true and not worry about being "myself"?

**I posted this elsewhere, but want a Presbyterian perspective because I grew up Presbyterian and one of the things bothering me is this: if humans are totally depraved, then how can I trust myself to choose what I believe in life? The instant I step away from Christianity, then I am in a state where I know my soul can only lead me away from God. Therefore, I really can't afford to give myself religious choice. It's safest to just sit passively and hope that God works in me.

 

[Radagast]

Your understanding of Christianity seems very strange. Being Christian does not mean not being "yourself," although it does mean turning from sin.

Similarly being Christian does not mean not investing energy in a profession.

I'd suggest reading more about Christianity, starting with, say, Mere Christianity by C S Lewis.

 

[Johnnz]

make sure you understand this distinction


"The biblical story of redemption is about the restoration and healing of God's good creation. In order to understand this biblical concept well, it is instructive to compare it with that of the Greek philosopher Plato, whose beliefs, though based on a completely pagan worldview, have often been adopted by Christians. (We will explore the long history of Plato's powerful influence on Christian thought more fully in the next chapter.) In Plato's thought, salvation is:

vertical (our destiny is upward in heaven)
otherworldly (our souls are saved into another spiritual world)
an escape ( we are saved not as part of this world but rather from this world)

But a genuinely Christian worldview contradicts the Platonic view at each of these points, since biblically, the goal of salvation is:

horizontal (we look forward in history to the renewal of creation)
of this world (the creation is to be renewed)
integral to God's ultimate plan for this world (no escape necessary"
M Goheen. Living at the Crossroads


John
NZ

 

[file13]

Howdy brother!

I'm really struggling. For my entire life my identity has been in being a Christian. When I was young, I got the following messages:
1) There is no fulfillment to be found within this life alone and to invest in worldly things is foolish.
2) There is someone you should be. Sure, everyone's different, but ideally you'd have the interests, passions, and attitudes that are most Christian.
3) God and eternal life are what matter. Focusing on anything else is foolish.
4) Humans are foolish by themselves and can only do good when looking through a Christian lens. There is nothing worse than straying from the path.

A lot of these comments here seem to be taken to an extreme. Yes, some of these are a natural side effect a Christian worldview, but they seem to be too extreme. For example, concerning #1, it's not that there is no fulfillment in this life, but that there is no ultimate fulfillment in life without Christ. Ditto with #3. This would lead to a Gnostic form of Christianity which plays on a dichotomy between the extremes of matter and spirit and ends up ultimately saying that matter is evil and only spirit is good. But this is absolutely not the Christian worldview. In part, Christ's sacrifice redeems matter. God obviously loves matter because He made so much of it, took on matter Himself, was ascended with that matter, and will eventually recreate all matter again after He returns. So really, it seems that a lot of this boils done to what seems like you going to extremes in your thoughts.

You must let your identity lie only in God. Don't tempt yourself with non-spiritual interests." So what I have is a self that is not really me at all. Have you heard "God first, others second, I'm third"? Well, I've taken that in a way that makes my natural identity the last thing allowed to be dealt with.

I think you might be confusing priority with emphasis. Saying that God is first means that ultimately, God is our highest priority. But it does not follow that you are not a priority. It just means that in your Christian worldview, you should always remember that God is the ultimate authority and the ultimate priority. But again, this does not in any way mean that you should go off and become a monk and deny being human. This absolutely against what the Reformation stood for and what Christianity stands for. So again, I think the real problem is that you're making black and white distinctions here rather than learning to live a balanced life in Christ.

If you've truly repented and put your trust in Christ, if you are intellectually convicted of the truthfulness of Christianity (called assensus by the Reformers) and have reached a point where you can't reason your way out of faith, then you have nothing to fear by not trying to act like an ascetic Gnostic monk.

So what I'm looking for is this: should I be myself first and foremost (whether that results in me being a Christian or not) or should I continue forcing my adherence to Christianity because it's true and not worry about being "myself"?

Note again the hard dilemma you present here. Again, I think this is a false dilemma. There is no reason you can't "be yourself" and be a Christian.

So all this being said, what kind of advice should we offer?

Honestly brother, this is a pastoral issue here and I'm not a pastor or even an elder. So I would encourage you to speak to your pastor or elders about this and please take my personal advice here for what it is, personal. I do believe that you have erected a false dilemma for yourself based on extremes which are foreign to biblical Christianity. But what to do?

First of all, remember, you're a young guy and often things we expereince when we're young seem much more extreme when we are young. This dosen't mean your feelings aren't valid, but I would suggest that when it comes to matters of ultimate truth, your feelings can be deceiving.

Given that, I would personally suggest that you study two different things. Apologetics and Reformed spirituality.

The reason I suggest apologetics (and a bit of philosophy) is because based on your comments, there does not seem to be a deeply held assensus in your faith. I.e. there dosen't seem to be a genuine intellectual assent to the truth of Jesus Christ. Studying apologetics will not only challenge your beliefs, but ultimately strengthen them by showing you that the Christian worldview is not only rational, but is in fact the only worldview which can provide the preconditions of intelligibility. Besides, apologetics will teach you to think logically, it will train you to always be ready to defend your faith, and it is essential in coming to not only heartfelt feeling of trust in Christ, but a full assent of the mind to the truth.

As for Reformed spirituality, I think that folks often misunderstand the Puritans (our Presbyterian spiritual ancestors) and have this idea in their heads that they were joyless boring kill joys. But in fact they were all to happy to rejoice in not only God, but His creation. They were hard working folk who eat, drank (yes, alcohol), had big families (which obviously implies sex), and felt a wonder about nature. They are in no way Protestant Gnostics who felt that anything which wasn't spiritual was therefore carnal. On the contrary, they looked for the spiritual, God's providence in everything. This worldview of God in control of everything, this God who ate, drank, and cried with His apostles, is not a God we can't relate to. He felt and experienced everything we do. It is this study of Reformed spirituality which I would also encourage you to study.

Does that make sense? Would this be something you would be interested in pursuing? I'd be happy to provide so book suggestions to get you started on both paths, which I would suggest you study together, because mind and heart both need to be involved here if you're going to acquire a balanced, strong, reasoned, and heartfelt Christian worldview.

Finally, let me close with a little prayer form the beautiful little book of Puritan prayers, the Valley of Vision (which is obviously, HIGHLY recommended):

Valley of Vision: Peril ~ Needs and Devotion

Sovereign Commander of the Universe,
I am sadly harassed by doubts, fears, unbelief,
in a felt spiritual darkness.
My heart is full of evil surmisings and disquietude,
and I cannot act faith at all.
My heavenly Pilot has disappeard,
and I have lost my hold on the Rock of Ages;
I sink in deep mire beneath storms and waves,
in horror and distress unutterable.

Help me, O Lord,
to throw myself absolutely and wholly on thee,
for better, for worse, without comfort,
and all but hopeless.
Give me peace of soul, confidence, enlargement of mind,
morning joy that comes after night heaviness;
Water my soul with divine blessings;
Grant that I may welcome that humbling in private
so that I might enjoy thee in public;
Give me a mountain top as high as the valley is low.
Thy grace can melt the worst sinner, and I am as vile as he;
Yet thou hast made me a monument of mercy,
a trophy of redeeming power;
In my distress let me not forget this.

All-wise God,
Thy never-failing providence orders every event,
sweetens every fear,
reveals evil’s presence lurking in seeming good,
brings real good out of seeming evil,
makes unsatisfactory what I set my heart upon,
to show me what a short-sighted creature I am,
and to teach me to live by faith upon
thy blessed self.

Out of sorrow and night
give me the name Naphtali -
‘satisfied with favour’ -
help me to love thee as thy child,
and to walk worthy of my heavenly pedigree.​

Hope this helps, God bless, and looking forward to discussing more with you if you like brother!

 

[RisingSpirit]

You have no choice but to be yourself. God does the choosing, not man.

 

[Jack East]

Your delima of should you be yourself or be a Christian is a common problem all christians have to come to terms with. I have have had to ask myself the same question numerous times during my 55 years of being a Christian. I can sense your pain in dealing with the problem.

As humans we need to be true to self. Self could be defined by the sum of our life experiences. Our family, friends, education, moral values, and all the other experiences of our lives help us to define self. I can assure you that the defining of self is a never ending process. As our life experiences change our defination of self also changes.

My answer to your delima is to be true to yourself, but let your Christian faith be an important part of defining who your self is. Being yourself and being a Christian are not exclusive items. You can be both. Your faith can and should be an important factor in defining self.

I hope that my response to your delima will allow you to be both yourself and a christian.

We all struggle with many issues as we live our lives and follow our journey of faith. It is by the sharing of our doubts, fears, and questions about life and our faith that we come to know the powerful and wonderful gift of God's love for us.

I will add you as a friend and ask that you consider adding me to your list of friends.

Keep asking questions as you grow your faith.

Jack

 

[hopeinGod]

I experienced those same feelings when I was younger, CT. Unlike you, I was not raised in a Christian family, although my father routinely dropped us off at a Lutheran Church on Sunday mornings so he could have quiet time with our Mom. It was there that I memorized Psalms 23.

Later, while in the Navy, I gave my life to the Lord and was immediately swept into what became known as the Jesus Movement. This was in the 70s, and while I was deeply immersed in all that was going on in the small home groups with whom I associated, I was also struggling through college.

Classes that introduced me to literature, sciences and the philosophies challenged my faith, while, ironically, I felt myself leaning strongly toward literature. My greatest challenge was wondering how I would be able to reconcile my intent to remain on the straight and narrow, especially when I was enjoying reading more than just the Bible. If felt almost like sin.

As I see it now, my faith had become so intense and extreme as to make me far too heavenly minded, to the point that I was absolutely no earthly good. Sure, I learned good Bible study habits, but I had no real ability to form a life of my own, apart from what I perceived to be the expectations of the church.

Knowing I was a fairly decent writer, I started exploring my own direction through words, and managed to have several articles published in national magazines. I wrote, within the following years, for five daily newspapers and two weeklies, and not a word of it was about the Lord.

Was it wrong? Of course, not. In fact, it felt very right. I later took a fed. govt. job where I've been working for the past 25 years. My house is paid for, as are my vehicles, and I don't owe anything to anyone. Because I have always had a strong work ethic, I have never been without at least a couple jobs. At one time, I worked four jobs, three of which were entrepenuerial.

Leaving the environment where you got your start in the Lord can be extremely tough. But, realize this, God is not only in the lives of those who live where you are presently. Oh, it may take you time to find a group with whom you feel a connection, but don't let it get to you. Take the time to explore who it is you are, without relying on confirmation from others.

 

[Goodbook]

hello coldturkey

I was reading your post because the church I go to is under the presbyterian denom and I wanted to read what presbyterians think about their faith. I became a christian two years ago so to read your post that you grew up in a christian home and are facing this dilemma and not knowing if it's wrong to get off the path as it were and 'be yourself' is something that I'm afraid happens to a lot of christians who perhaps haven't really trusted in Jesus as their Lord and savior.

I heard a sermon today that I want to share with you. First of all God created the world and he knows everything from beginning to end right?
And he chose you before you were born, he knew you in your womb.
He knew what time you were born, where you were going to live, what parents you would have. He knows everything about you.
Then there's Satan, who hates God and everything God created, because he was jealous of God. He did everything he could to get people to disobey God and follow his wicked ways instead. Even though God chose a special people, the Israelites, to be his own, and made a covenant with them to be his holy people, time after time they disobeyed him and ignored him and followed after other gods, themselves etc. It was only through Jesus Christ, who was born of a virgin, conceived by the Holy Spirit, who was sinless in God's eyes. And what Jesus did was die FOR us, all our sins, taking the blame (for the wages of sin are death) so that God could look at us and we would be righteous in His eyes. Jesus then rose again on the third day to prove that death had no power over us. And he sent his Holy Spirit to whoever believes in him will have a helper to guide to all truth.
Now nobody can really come to the Father except through Jesus, but if you are in Him, that means God loves you and accepts you and adopts you into his own family. You are a co-heir with Jesus, and that makes you a Royal! Does that mean, God forces you into an identity crisis? No, you are still YOU, but you belong to Him, and that's a wonderful privelige! This isn't meant to be a cage, but a blessing! I wish all people who grew up christian would realise what a blessing it is! You don't have to struggle so much with the world because God has given you a security. He has given you so many good things, but you don't realise this, to be thankful for!
You may not have a radical conversion story but you have been protected (or kept) by the power of God! Those of us who never knew Jesus growing up sometimes regret that we didn't know him for so long. You are blessed to have parents praying for you and asking God to keep a place for you in heaven.

I seem to get from your post that maybe you are following a religion rather than Jesus? Am I right? People can claim to have christianity but not Jesus. Or they follow whatever their church says is right or teaches but don't really know Jesus, don't read the Bible for themselves, don''t pray or just pray 'repeat after me' prayers.. Is the church God? Or is Jesus?

Have you read the parable of the prodigal son? How he wandered off the path but realised how low he'd gotten, was scared to go back but found his Father still loved him anyway? God knows your heart, if you are secure in his love, you don't have to fear going the wrong path because he will always bring you back to him! And sometimes He doesn't direct your every step because in some instances you need to learn in his absence what it's like to be far from Him.This is a picture of trust.
The other brother kept to all the rules and was jealous of his brother because his Father put on a big party to welcome him back. But guess what the Father said to this son - he admnoished him because He was always with him.

Lost sheep are always so grateful when they are found, but can't understand why the sheep who've always stayed safe in the flock aren't happy they've returned? What you need to do is talk to some christians who'd previously been living with wolves and are so thankful Jesus saved them! Do you know about the christians in China and in muslim countries that are persecuted for their faith?

Trust in God to help you in your unbelief. It's one thing to believe, its another to know the truth. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. And Jesus also said, you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. And when you are free, you are free indeed! That includes, freedom to be yourself, who God created you to be! God is loving, he is not going to make you into someone or force you in anyway! When you have a relationship with Him He is perfecting YOU, not making clones of other people.

The Christian life isnt meant to be a struggle - it's not easy, granted but if there's no joy in it it can't really be christian. You are saved by grace of God, throught faith not by works, so no one can boast. If you read your bible, nowhere does it say humans are 'totally depraved.' It does say that all are sinners and have fallen short of the Glory of God, but we can repent and God is happy to forgive us through Jesus! I don't know why so many churches keep teaching works works works, and legalism, as if we can earn our way to heaven by following rules and doing good deeds. It's like they forget the most important person in the world already did it all!

Faith in Jesus and what he did for YOU on the cross is the first step.

 

[cajunhillbilly]

I would recommend Os Guiness book "Being Human". It may be out of print but you may be able to find a used copy on Amazon.

 

[LeonKyna]

But a genuinely Christian worldview contradicts the Platonic view at each of these points, since biblically, the goal of salvation is:

 

[AndrewZinc]

The Christian life isnt meant to be a struggle - it's not easy, granted but if there's no joy in it it can't really be christian. You are saved by grace of God, throught faith not by works, so no one can boast. If you read your bible, nowhere does it say humans are 'totally depraved.' It does say that all are sinners and have fallen short of the Glory of God, but we can repent and God is happy to forgive us through Jesus! I don't know why so many churches keep teaching works works works, and legalism, as if we can earn our way to heaven by following rules and doing good deeds. It's like they forget the most important person in the world already did it all!

Faith in Jesus and what he did for YOU on the cross is the first step.

Two verses:

Hebrews 12:4 - In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

We are meant to struggle against sin, and therefore the Christian life is a struggle. We are in the midst of spiritual warfare and that can be hard; there are casualties. But you are absolutely right in that we must hold on to Jesus and what he did for you and me.

Genesis 8:21 - The Lord smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: “Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done."

I do believe that applies to us and is very close to saying we are totally depraved. I find those verses in Genesis some of the hardest to read in Scripture and it is scary to think it applies to me, but it does. It is only by God's mercy and grace that I am saved together with my faith.

one of the things bothering me is this: if humans are totally depraved, then how can I trust myself to choose what I believe in life? The instant I step away from Christianity, then I am in a state where I know my soul can only lead me away from God. Therefore, I really can't afford to give myself religious choice. It's safest to just sit passively and hope that God works in me.

I see the fear you have in this respect, but I think it is unfounded. I said above that it takes my faith, in what Jesus has done and in God's promises. Faith is a gift from God. Jesus is the Shepherd who goes out to find his lost sheep (Matthew 18:10-14) as He is not willing to let us be lost. He takes the initiative.

1. I was lost, every inclination of my heart was evil, I was depraved.
2. Jesus came and picked me up, saving me!

I chose to come with him, he does not force himself on anyone (Revelation 3:20), but without his action, without the Holy Spirit drawing me, I would never have been saved. In the same way, if you put yourself "in a state where I know my soul can only lead me away from God" that is irrelevant as God won't let you go.

I was a bit disturbed by "forcing my adherence to Christianity because it's true". It is true, but if you are forcing yourself, then there is a problem. I think you should turn off that forcing and let Jesus save you. He won't let you down brother (John 6:35-40):

Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.”

 

[Johnnz]

I Don't accept such a sin focused basis as the beginning point for my life. I begin with a Trinity of Being, united in love and relationship who have never given up on their beloved creation and creatures.My starting point is God, not a depraved nature.

We do live in a world where evil is a very present reality. That's where our struggle is, against all that corrupts and interferes with the reality and goodness of the Divine life. In Romans Paul teaches a new way of living, the 'law of the Spirit', that brings life ad freedom.

John
NZ

 

[Forge3]

Pray over it.

 

[hedgehogjim]

I feel for ya because in my young life I felt a lot like you.

I grew up in a very legalistic we're-all-a-weak-worm-of-the-dust type of church. It caused me to have a lot of the same negative feelings that you do. Once I was old enough, those experiences caused me to abandon religion altogether.

Fast forward 20+ years and due to a variety of events in my life, I began to wonder about a faith-life again.

Fortunately, about 10 months ago, the Lord led me to the church I now attend...
... a Grace-oriented church, sharing what I believe is the correct message from the Bible which is that God loves us.

We are a balance of who we are in this world and our eternal pursuits.

It just so happens that our pastor has been addressing the issue of happiness in his sermons recently. I'd encourage you to give his most recent 2 Sunday sermons a listen
9/30 "Spiritual Depression"
9/23 "It's All in Your Mind"

I'm too new to the forum to be allowed to post links but just Google Community Presbyterian Church in Celebration (or you click on my name above and go to my "home" page).

Then on the website's "Media" menu select "Sermon Audio Archives"

I think those 2 sermons will really help you.

You're in my prayers.

 

[Eddie L]

The funny thing is that the abundance of love and grace we receive from God is such that we can be "weak worms of the dust" without being condemned for it. Without the gospel, our weakness can only beat us down. With the gospel, we can openly confess our weaknesses without being burdened by them.

There isn't any weakness is me that condemns me if I am truly in Christ. Jesus is my righteousness in every possible way, so the emotional weight of failing to be a winner can't pull me down anymore. And once the emotional weight is off my back, suddenly I'm free to change. The gospel rocks.

 

[hedgehogjim]

Well put Eddie L ...

As I've brought Faith into my life (as opposed to "Religion") I find my self-worth goes up tremendously.

Here's praying that AndrewZinc can find that path as well.

 

[zlereaux]

It depends what you mean by be yourself. It is perfectly possible to be yourself AND be a Christian. As Christians, we are to identify ourselves with Christ!

The fact that your identity aligns with Christ doesn't mean you don't have your own personality. Identifying with Christ means that you work to glorify God in all that you do because you are claimed. You are HIS.

But our own identity establishment is twofold. Part of it is God's own blessing to us. He has given us different physical blessings and talents. This is why we are interesting in different things, and succeed at different things. We've been blessed by God with our individual expressions.

Secondly, our identity is sometimes governed by our desire to sin. We want things to be OUR way, and want to provide a reason why it is okay to be doing the things that we do. We don't want to follow rules, because we are constantly selfish. God in his magnificent grace gives us not only forgiveness of this selfishness, but enables His Holy Spirit to work in us and sanctify us. We change from His work.

Just remember that we are always going to be sinning on this side of glory. We were born in sin. We are sinners. But that doesn't mean we aren't Christ's

 

[Johnnz]

You will indeed pay long term consequences for rejecting Christianity through your own inquiry. For the rest of your life you will be free from the oppressive constraints of religion, free to think what you want and make decisions based on what makes SENSE, not what some desert nomad scribbled down in a book 3000 years ago. You will be free of the juvenile fear of hell, fire and brimstone. It's obvious that religion needs you much more than you need it. It's time to realize and accept that.

That is simply an uninformed rant. No more comments are necessary.

John
NZ

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I'm really struggling. For my entire life my identity has been in being a Christian. When I was young, I got the following messages:
1) There is no fulfillment to be found within this life alone and to invest in worldly things is foolish.
2) There is someone you should be. Sure, everyone's different, but ideally you'd have the interests, passions, and attitudes that are most Christian.
3) God and eternal life are what matter. Focusing on anything else is foolish.
4) Humans are foolish by themselves and can only do good when looking through a Christian lens. There is nothing worse than straying from the path.

I heard these messages and responded like this: "Hmm, so I can't invest in this life, I would be disappointing if I wasn't this 'ideal' person, and humans in themselves are prone to wander. Well, it looks like there are pitfalls everywhere and the only safe thing to do is to be Christian and never look back. I must never allow myself to step even an inch away from Christianity. It's too risky."

So what I wound up with was an approach to life wherein being myself doesn't matter. All that matters is staying spiritually aligned. I've lived 22 years now and have never really defined myself or developed any passions because my focus has been on staying on the path, being who I should be. Every part of me that might have grown was stunted by the part of me that would ask, "Is that who you should be? You must remain correct. You must let your identity lie only in God. Don't tempt yourself with non-spiritual interests." So what I have is a self that is not really me at all. Have you heard "God first, others second, I'm third"? Well, I've taken that in a way that makes my natural identity the last thing allowed to be dealt with.

I've been in counseling lately and my counselor says I should be myself first and Christian second. He means that I should have an identity in myself as a human and from there choose Christianity. This feels very backward to me. Trust my own convictions? Give credit to what my mind actually thinks? That terrifies me. What if I cut the safety tether I have with Christianity and start interpreting life on my own? I might in my freedom decide that Christianity is not true! Then I'd pay for the consequences eternally.

So what I'm looking for is this: should I be myself first and foremost (whether that results in me being a Christian or not) or should I continue forcing my adherence to Christianity because it's true and not worry about being "myself"?

**I posted this elsewhere, but want a Presbyterian perspective because I grew up Presbyterian and one of the things bothering me is this: if humans are totally depraved, then how can I trust myself to choose what I believe in life? The instant I step away from Christianity, then I am in a state where I know my soul can only lead me away from God. Therefore, I really can't afford to give myself religious choice. It's safest to just sit passively and hope that God works in me.

After being a Christian for two years, I became frustrated that I was introduced to all the religious side of things, but no one could introduce me to God as a person; so I got out in the middle of a park and introduced myself to God. He revealed Himself to me and it was a life-changing event which happened in 1969 and the sense of His presence has never left me from that day until this.

The first question I asked the Lord when I knew that I was really in His presence was, "How do I be a real Christian?" He said, "Just be yourself." I replied, "I can't just be myself! Everyone would see all my sins and shortcomings." He said, "Don't worry about that; If I don't like you, I will change you." After 47 years, I have experienced major changes in my life which I could not have initiated.

For that first two years, I tried my best to be a good, religious Christian, but I failed because I was trying to be self-righteous instead of resting God for Him to establish His righteousness in me and to make me the person He wants me to be. Also, there is the real danger of being in bondage to man-pleasing and trying to copy others instead of living your life before God and allowing Him to work within you by the Holy Spirit.

By trying copy others, all you can be is a pale imitation of someone else. You are unique, and it is God who formed you while you were in your mother's womb. He knows you through and through, and therefore he saved you as you were, and is working sanctification in you as you progress in the faith. Beware of being a slave to the opinions and views of others because that stops God working effectively in you. Paul said that he will be judged of no man, but will leave the judgment of his life and conduct entirely to Jesus.

When you have that attitude, then you will be obedient to the rightful leaders and mentors that God appoints for you because they will lead you to have a greater dependence on Christ and will advance the work of the Holy Spirit in you.

 

[Monseigneur_Gentilhomme]

Human depravity doesn't deny the truth of civil righteousness or wisdom, it refers to acts which contribute to justification. A different topic.

We are all shaped by the culture in which we are born. This is unavoidable. It is neither bad or good. What counts is what do you want with your life. If you want to expand your herizons, do so. If you are content to remain where you are, do so. Neither is right or wrong. It is your choice.

In my life I wasn't raised in a christian family, but i was raised in a rather typical middle class white chicago irish-italian one. When I started university I realized how narrow my perspective was when I screwed things up really bad with some great people through racially insensitive remarks. I was just ignorant. I didn't know better, though it wasn't an excuse. So I studied abraod in French Canada, a bit of a different culture, though still close to the states and I met french speakers from all corners of the globe my first few weeks. There was a major culture shock. REally forced me to grow up.

On the other hand, my sister doesnt have a desire to learn another language or even get a passport. She is content to hang with her high school friends and go to the same places she has always (same with a lot of other in my family).

At first I was a bit snobbish, but I get that. There is an appeal to that sort of stability. Bottom line, life is what you make of it. God demands obedience in whatever choices you make, but he has given you the freedom to do with your life what you like within quite broad paramaters.