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dies-l
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Two comments to make regarding your advice of counseling. I went to counseling and it didn't really help. As far as going to see a counselor on a regular basis, this isn't feasible for me; finances are really lousy for me and as a result it'd be problematic for me to due so (even ones who offer a sliding scale fee isn't an option for me).
Thanks for your comment. If your post above really reflects how you feel, I would encourage you to make it a priority to get help. It sounds like you have a pretty low opinion of life and of yourself and a pretty pessimistic outlook on the future. As I said before, I know from my own experience that this is a dangerous position to be in. But also, it is just downright unpleasant to feel that way. I'm not a medical professional, and obviously I don't personally know your precise situation; I'm just a guy who has struggled with depression. That said, I have seen how intervention from counselors and physicians can be very helpful.
When I started going to counseling, I couldn't afford it either. I basically decided that I was going to have to spend money that I didn't have, because the alternative to continuing to go on without help was unbearable to me. I am glad I did, because when my outlook changed, my opportunities changed. I found that when I was able to get a grasp on my mental and emotional health, I had the courage to go after those things that I really needed and wanted in life.
Another question that's sorta off-topic. What have you felt like before? What I posted, I'm feeling a bunch of different things.
The general tone of your last post reminds me a lot of myself, especially this part:
I'm jealous and furious and embittered because everybody seems to catch a break but me and I'm fed up with always getting shafted and screwed with life; for as long as I can remember ever since I've been a kid, nothing has been easy for me and if by some remote possibility things start to become better for me, as soon as they do, they immediately become bad just as they've started to become good. This has been the story-of-my-life. I don't really have an idea of what it means to be prosperous and have a future to look forward to, because for the most part my life has just been about playing catch-up and getting screwed. For me when I get problems, it's not just one; I get two, three, four of 'em at a time-essentially when it rains it pours.
I realize that life isn't fair; it's full of pain, sorrow, adversity, problems, tribulation; I KNOW this because that's what most of MY LIFE has consisted of. I'm familiar with the concepts of refinement, persecution, and sanctification, and know full well what purposes they serve in correlation with God. However where does it say in the Bible that all your life is supposed to consist of is pain, sorrow, problems, and adversity; that sounds like a bleak and mediocre existence to me.
Fyi, if God is supposed to be such a polite gentleman as it were, then how come I didn't even get a say in being born? I despise my life so much that I stay alive for other's sakes, not for my own sake. To me it seems the only reason I exist is to get treated like crap emotionally, problems heaped on top of me incessantly, and the scapegoat if something goes wrong, even if it's not my fault.
You will be in my prayers. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or need to talk.
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