Remarriage after Divorce

[SweetBella]

Can you only remarry IF your first spouse dies? What are you thoughts on what this scripture means:

Romans 7:2-3
For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.

 

[SweetBella]

no one has an opinion?

 

[FaithPrevails]

Hi there.

I remarried and my ex-husband is alive and kicking. I don't get into debates about the topic, so I won't share my opinions about the scripture. I simply go by what feels God-led and remarriage felt God-led.

 

[SweetBella]

I totally get that.. feeling God led. I do the same.

I am confused on this scrtipture though and am curious if anyone on here has researched it and what other things in bible say on topic.

Thank you!

 

[If Not For Grace]

I believe divorce is a sin.
I believe stealing is a sin.

When I was as a child , I used to steal items from a local dime store which has long since closed. I confessed my sin & repented when I was older & more mature. I believe I was forgiven. I do not believe I am a theif in God's eyes any longer. Engough said?

 

[SweetBella]

i get what youre saying.. but he doesnt really talk about stealing as much as divorce and remarriage, kwim.... im just confused on why all these specifics are put in the bible on marriage/divorce/remarriage?

i do feel all sins are equal and He is a forgiving God... im just still intrigued by what all these "specific" verses mean.

 

[If Not For Grace]

In those days-Women did not have careers outside the home in many instances, they had a hard time even owning property. A divorced woman had no means of support if her husband "put her away". He however could marry as many as he could take care of financially. If a man divorced his wife likely "had" to marry again to put a roof over her head. Men also had concubines, etc. Marriage had a lot more to do with survival for women than for love/happiness. (See Leah)

God in a sense is "divorced" Himself, Isreal is often compared to an adulterous woman, (see the story of Gomer) & the gentiles are compared to a second bride. Divorce is painful, I know of none who have gone through the process without suffering, but then again marriage has the same pitfalls. Paul said it was better not to marry at all.

Again, I say do what you are Lead to do and you can't go wrong.

 

[iambren]

I understand it but am a little uncomfortable with some of the "subjectivism" guiding this question. The Bible does have some fairly concrete things to say about divorce.

First, God says He hates divorce---NOTE, He did NOT say divorce was a sin. As was mentioned earlier God gave divorcement to the Israelites, God does not sin, thus divorce is not a sin.

Specifically, in the gospels Jesus allowed for divorce/remarriage if a spouse commits adultery. In I Corinthians 7 Paul COMMANDS divorce, orders a believer to "let them go!" if a spouse desires to leave, so abandonment is a clear reason to divorce. Any legitimate divorce implies a legitimate right to remarry.

 

[SweetBella]

thank you for responses!!

i clearly believe i have enough biblical reasons to justify my divorce and i feel in my heart the Lord does want me to find the right man to marry... i have a grandma who tells me i cant because my first husband must die first.

i do not believe this but was just looking for what others had to say on topic.. maybe to help me find words to explain to her.

 

[foodiepeep]

In I Corinthians 7 Paul COMMANDS divorce, orders a believer to "let them go!" if a spouse desires to leave, so abandonment is a clear reason to divorce. Any legitimate divorce implies a legitimate right to remarry.

With all due respect iambren, that scripture is specifically addressing the issue of being married to an unbeliever who wishes to divorce or abandon a believer..not two christians seeking divorce. Thus, myself, you, and bella are all unbiblically divorced, and it IS a sin, as Christ said that the only justifiable grounds for divorce and remarriage is physical adultery.

 

[FaithPrevails]

With all due respect iambren, that scripture is specifically addressing the issue of being married to an unbeliever who wishes to divorce or abandon a believer..not two christians seeking divorce. Thus, myself, you, and bella are all unbiblically divorced, and it IS a sin, as Christ said that the only justifiable grounds for divorce and remarriage is physical adultery.

I'm sure God does not mean for people to stay in abusive relationships. Nor do I think He condemns a remarriage of someone who has survived an abusive relationship. That condemnation comes from humans - not God.

 

[iambren]

Good point FaithPrevails and in many of the abusive marriages one is forced to leave because the abuser has created a situation where abandonment is the only SANE response!

Foodiekeep, I disagree with you. A person that wantonly abandons their spouse, and refuses to obey church admonishments to return to their spouse is to be treated as an unbeliever. The Bible teaches that we all sin and come short of God's glory BUT it also says we do not CONTINUE to go on sinning. Only nonbelievers do that.

Therefore, the abandonment clause gives the spouse that was abandoned freedom for we are called to peace, ie without any requirements to the spouse who left. I'm not talking about a couple having a tiff and one of them goes home to momma for a few days. I speak of that person who has left and gone on with their life, probably to date others and remarry. Other than a thirst for martyrdom what would be the point of considering yourself still married to such a person?!

 

[foodiepeep]

Yes, I get it iambren...I've exhaustively researched about the "supposed" Pauline Exception Clause supported by the Instone-Brewer "Not Under Bondage" argument stating that (he) cites FOUR "valid" grounds for biblical divorce. Actually, he reinterprets scripture...

See: Dr. David Instone-Brewer's <I>Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible</I> A Critical Review

However, Matt. 19:9 clearly details that divorce for any reason other than physical unfaithfulness is adultery. Thus, in divorcing without this causation, we've broken the seventh commandment, and that does indeed render our divorces sinful. There is no other way to expound that passage.

I myself struggled with this issue for over a year after filing for divorce (sheerly due to irreconcilable differences). My spouse fervently refused to reconcile, forbidding me to halt the divorce, as I so yearned to do, and now I've been officially (secularly) divorced for a month. I've never been more traumatized, sorrowful, or ashamed that I made the decision to end my marriage, and personally, I will never be whole again..

Still, 1 Cor. 7:15 is addressing ONLY the actions of a non-Christian unbeliever who has abandoned their believing Christian spouse. Backsliding doesn't make one an unbeliever any more than "standing in a garage makes you a car", as Dr. Phil says.

 

[5kidmom]

You're going to get a variety of opinions/interpretations on this, but I think what you need to do, is seek counsel from those in your denomination, whose beliefs mirror your own I would assume being a part of such denomination, if that makes sense.

My almost ex (he signed the papers today, and I'll be served sometime next week), left/abandoned us. He was a professed Christian, but he steadily turned away from church, his faith, and finally his family. Being of a reformed belief, I do not believe he "lost" his salvation, he either was never truely saved or he is severely backslidden, either way, he is to be treated as the unbeleiving spouse, as referenced in I Corithians 7. This is NOT my intepretation, this was under long counsel with the pastors at our church. He has basically gone through all the stages of discipline at church for this, and is to be treated as an unbeliever, whether truely one or "backslidden" either way, same treatment.

I say all that, to say that I have been counselled that because he left/abandonned, it is a legimitate divorce, and I am biblically able to remarry. Whether others agree or not, my conscious would be clear. I have sought counsel, I have prayed, and I'm okay with this. But, I really can't see getting married again. I'd like to , but the hurt is still too fresh.

By the way, I just wanted to add, even if one party leaves, as in my case, it still takes two to ruin a marriage. The fault may be greater on one part, but addressing my sin that lead to my part in this, as been part of my process of working through this. But, he is still the one who abadoned the marriage, if that makes sense, with regards to remarriage.

Just my thoughts. I don't post a lot here, mainly read, but wanted to share what I thought of the discussion.

 

[highlife]

You have to realize that once some people have something in their head you cant have discussions with them about that topic if your view is different, thats just human nature.

 

[foodiepeep]

I didn't mean to offend anyone with my perspective. Please excuse my harsh tonality in the post..

 

[ArohaB]

My advice would be this: seek God's face and security for His love for YOU. That is where the answer lies. There is no love and relationship in law, only rules. And once you judge yourself guilty on one law, you will have to judge yourself on EVERY law. We are FREE from law. You can stand before the throne of God unashamed. He is your Father, brother, king, saviour, servant, counsellor. He is here to LIGHTEN your load not burden it further. And for further peace of mind, he says if the unbeliever wants to leave, let him do so, we are called to live in peace and therefore not bound. So long as you know you are the believer that is letting go in peace, then you are free. And a husband that abuses his wife, is NOT behaving in a Christlike manner.

 

[Johnnz]

In Romans Paul is not teaching about divorce. He simply uses marriage as an example of death bringing a covenant to an end, as Christ's death did to the old covenant.

Jesus was not being a restrictive as some believe in the gospels.But he was not permissive either. He was addressing a school of Jewish teaching that took the permission clause in the OT and were making it into an excuse for all to easy, Vegas style divorce. That Jesus was not confining divorce to only death or adultery is evidenced by Paul addressing a new set of circumstances as the Christian community began to include Gentile believers. It was acceptable to divorce, and therefore be eligible for remarriage, if an unbelieving partner was no longer willing to remain married to a believing spouse. That is quite an advance beyond death or adultery only.

John
NZ

 

[dayhiker]

I think one has to understand what Paul is saying in Rom.7. His subject isn't divorce, but the law. Israel was married to the law. The was never doing to die or do anything wrong so Israel had no way to seperate herself from the law. While the law was holy and righteous it also was Israel's enemy. The law said do this, but how no power to help people do it.

So the Jesus took the law on himself when he died and the law died with Jesus on the cross. Now Israel was free to marry Jesus her messiah.

That's what Rom.7 is about.

 

[dayhiker]

I love Dr. David Instone-Brewer's book. I couldn't make sense of what the Bible said about divorce till I read his book. Even ordered it and had is shipped from the UK.