relative's wedding: make him go or let him stay?

[.chrys.]

Go visit them in August--before the wedding. Take time to spend quality time with them. Take your wedding gift with you and give it to them before you leave.

Decide now how you want to live your lives regardless of how others are living theirs. You have only one life to live. Rise above.

 

[mkgal1]

If you are not interested in third party help, grab a book on marriage.

Love and Respect, For Men Only, For Women Only, Seasons of Marriage are a few good ones.

Sorry.....I can't agree with those first two books (I'm unaware of Seasons of Marriage).....but I don't want to elaborate and derail this thread.

 

[annafullofgrace]

Sorry.....I can't agree with those first two books (I'm unaware of Seasons of Marriage).....but I don't want to elaborate and derail this thread.

Obviously-for men only would be for a husband. Personally, I am not a fan of Love and Respect, but many couples enjoy it. Actually, I am the only person I know who didn't-but since the majority do-it's worth looking into.

 

[mkgal1]

Actually......I thought this article had some good insight....especially this part:

When you first met your spouse, you had a mutual attraction to one another because of certain similarities. Perhaps you met while involved in an activity which seemed to indicate that you had some mutual interests and goals. You dated, fell in love, and married. However, after marriage something changed. You began to see that you also had many differences which created conflicts and division between you. At this point, you began to realize that you needed to make certain adjustments to regain the companionship and unity that you previously enjoyed. One of the greatest desires any married couple has is to experience love, harmony, and real companionship with one another. But, the question is, how can you regain companionship and grow in greater harmony in your relationship? What are some practical steps you can take to reach this goal? Let's look at the general principles that will enable you to find harmony.

There is one principle that stands out and is repeated many times in Scripture: the principle of agreement. To find the harmony you desire you must seek agreement with your mate as the means to the goal of harmony and true companionship in your marriage.~http://www.covenantkeepers.org/onli...ution/315-growing-in-harmony-with-your-spouse

I think that really sums it up---two people having the main goal of finding harmony as opposed to simply getting one's way is what's really necessary.

BGS....I wanted to add that this thread isn't about beating you up and berating you. I'm willing to bet that most of us have learned all this the difficult way (by doing *just* what you're doing). So....I hope you don't feel singled out. I know I've been just where you are (for several long years, in fact).

 

[DaisyDay]

But to be honest... even if we don't want to be honest... most of us know how to make our spouses do things they don't really want to.

Yeah, but one thing I've learned over the years is that it is totally not worth it.

In this case, I would go to the wedding with or without him - it could really be a lot more fun without him as you'd get to be with his relatives without all his baggage and resentments. If he decides to come with you, good. If not, still good. The worse problem I see is that if it is a catered sit-down dinner, having a guest not show up is an extra, unnecessary expense for the couple. If it's a buffet then it may not matter. In either case, let him decide and take responsibility for his own choice.

 

[annafullofgrace]

Actually......I thought this article had some good insight....especially this part:



I think that really sums it up---two people having the main goal of finding harmony as opposed to simply getting one's way is what's really necessary.

BGS....I wanted to add that this thread isn't about beating you up and berating you. I'm willing to bet that most of us have learned all this the difficult way (by doing *just* what you're doing). So....I hope you don't feel singled out. I know I've been just where you are (for several long years, in fact).

Yes, I've been guilty of many things as a wife....and I bet my hubby would agree he has made some as a husband. That's why I always seek advice from those who have been married a long time and still happy. They've been there.