Really need help!

[SplendidTree]

My twin sister is a lesbian. She believes in God and prays and wants to go to church. Anyhow she has a fiancee. If these 2 were to do a civil union I think it is called.... I really don't agree with this however is it a sin if I show up? Like I don't know when they would ever do this. However I hate the sin... not the person.

If I go does that mean I support what she is doing? I just don't want to not show up if that looks like I am judgemental or hating. I don't agree however I still love her she is my twin you know?

colleen

 

[LyraJean]

I do not think attending your sister's ceremony is a sin. Does she know your stance about her sexuality? I think if you get an invitation you should go. It's the loving the sinner part by attending. If you really do feel uncomfortable going at least send a gift. But if you choose not to attend know that she will probably be hurt by what she might see as your rejection of her. Be ready to deal with the consequences.

But then I don't believe sexual orientation is a choice. I'm also not a psychiatrist nor have I taken any psychology classes. This is just my opinion.

 

[SplendidTree]

I do want to go and she doesn't really know where I stand on it. I don't agree however that is her thing. I still love her a lot and want to go just didn't know if it was sinful or not to attend.

 

[roxanne_101]

I'm sure everyone has their own take on this. However, I think the act of homosexuality is a sin. That means that since you are not doing it, it isn't a sin. I do understand that you may feel bad or uncomfortable going to this, so would I. But I don't think you should feel like you are sinning if you go. You probably will hurt your sister by not going. If you decide not to go, maybe you should explain to her how you feel about it and see if she will be understanding. It's hard to say what the best thing is to do in this situation. I think either way it will be difficult. You do appear to be in support of her homosexuality if you attend. On the other hand, she is your sister and I know you love her. Are any other family members in support of her union?

 

[LyraJean]

I have friends of different faiths. They know my beliefs about their faiths. If they were to invite me to their weddings should they get married I would try to go if I could. I don't see how your sister's civil union is any different.

 

[CFDavid]

That's so hard.

I definitely wouldn't be in the bridal party, but I think I would attend. But any decision would involve an awful lot of prayer.

Hopefully it's a decision you won't have to make, cmjames!

Maybe her desire to pray and go to church can lead to her discovering for herself that God doesn't condone homosexual relations any more than He condones lying, mistreating employees, drunkenness, etc. (Whenever it's discussed, I almost always make an effort to inject that into the conversation, because there are any number of sins Christians seem to think are "passable" in some way in which homosexuality is not. Check Revelation -- homosexuality is lumped in with a bunch of things many Christians do with little remorse.)

Anyway, maybe if you study together and you can bring her alongside, there will be a time when this can be really addressed. What's hard is that so many gays people think of this as their identity in a way that no one would proudly admit they're a liar or a cheater or whatever. That's what's so tricky -- Satan has really done a number by making this (and lots of other sexual activity) a sin that is proudly trumpeted, often as a sign of "being free."

 

[SplendidTree]

Well my mom and dad aren't very spiritual however my dad is opposed. This is a hypothetical thing as there is nothing planned yet. They are engaged at this point though. I will go if she does have one...I want her to know I still love her. I just didnt know if that meant I'd get condemned or something. I hope that doesn't sound rude I don't mean for it to. Thanks everyone for the input.

colleen

 

[FallenPaladin]

If she were going to steal something from Walmart and wanted you to watch would you do it? The question is, 'Should a Christian be a supportive witness of something they think is a sin?'

 

[jthomas1600]

My brother in law is gay. When he came out of the closet I did not handle it too well and said some things that I thought were right and appropriate at the time, but only served to hurt his feelings. It has taken years for us to get back on friendly enough terms where I can have any hope of witnessing to him. In my mind it would only serve to drive a wedge between the two of you if you did not attend and I don't see how that would serve any purpose.

 

[jonnyfavourite]

You need to support your sister, family is the most precious thing, be there for her. No one chooses to be gay, just like no one chooses to be straight.

 

[FallenPaladin]

You need to support your sister, family is the most precious thing, be there for her. No one chooses to be gay, just like no one chooses to be straight.

If God hates sin and someone you love wants to sin with your blessing, would you really be helping them by going along with it? Or, would turning your back on the sinful behavior be better for you and for them? We can pat people on the back who want to kill themselves physically or spiritually or we can try to stop them.

 

[EnVida Isaac]

My twin sister is a lesbian. She believes in God and prays and wants to go to church. Anyhow she has a fiancee. If these 2 were to do a civil union I think it is called.... I really don't agree with this however is it a sin if I show up? Like I don't know when they would ever do this. However I hate the sin... not the person.

If I go does that mean I support what she is doing? I just don't want to not show up if that looks like I am judgemental or hating. I don't agree however I still love her she is my twin you know?

colleen

That is an extremely difficult question. Homosexuality is definitely not the right way. For those who do not claim to be Christian, it is okay, but for those who do -- it is not their own body they are doing this with, but the body of the Lord. For when one is baptized in the Spirit they are as married, 'of one body and one Spirit'.

One might argue, "What then does it matter for one is as another", but this is obviously not the case. And there are plenty of perversions people do not do to themselves, and if they do, they will feel real shame about it if exposed. A Christian's walk should be blameless, and while they should feel shame about nothing, they will if what they are doing is shameful.

For instance, what this does is defy the strength of the sexes and their differences. While men may have female qualities and women male qualities, it is important that each feel they are their own and value that. That is good and in such a world where this is defied, people often get confused.

Such a thing also requires a considerable amount of work to change.

Yet, we should be kind and polite to such people on the other hand, or they may be alienated. If I were in your case I would reluctantly not attend, keep up distant personal relations, and be very gentle but judge them in spirit for that is where real power of change comes from.

It is not about condemnation, and that is important to understand. It is about people being who they really are and finding that. Something which is hard enough in this world and can take decades to reach for many.


Consider that as well in yourself. Is it not sacred who a person is, sexually? And is not the union of man and woman as well sacred and perfect?

Really understanding that brings one to the right conclusions and feelings about these matters naturally.

 

[Horsebox]

If I go does that mean I support what she is doing? I just don't want to not show up if that looks like I am judgemental or hating. I don't agree however I still love her she is my twin you know?

colleen

Isn't one of the fundamental teachings of christ to love one another unconditionally? There is nothing wrong with supporting your sister because is her your supporting, not her worldly traits. Also if there was anything wrong with being a lesbian why would God have made her that way?

 

[SplendidTree]

Wow this s definitely opening my eyes. I'm still kind of torn though honestly. I feel more like I should not go. Hopefully I never have to make this decision.

 

[NewHope2010]

If you go, you are supporting HER, not her sin. God doesn't call us to cut off relationships with those who don't yet know of their sin. But let God use you to be a gentle reminder that God does not accept this. Don't push it down her throat!

 

[EnVida Isaac]

Hrrm, reading other posts...

I am torn myself. My wife has gay friends whom I love. (And **no** not in that way.)

I actually was arguing the other day that lesbianism is not "that bad". After all, if all are one in body and spirit in Christ, and this age is different, does it really matter? Some maybe have to go that way to reach others.

So, my own statements here seem the polar opposite of what I sometimes consider.

I also definitely see a lot of feminine in myself (though guy on guy stuff is sick, as also I see any manner of sodomy)... and can see a lot of male in women I have known.



But, when thinking deeply about the matter, I came to the conclusion: No. I would not wish for any woman to lose her sexuality in such a way. It hurts them and keeps them from being who they really are and want to be.



People say, "God made them this way". I disagree. Homosexual tendencies are natural in everyone. We all know this. And guys tend to love to consider this stuff on women. They may even unconsciously force it on them, because then they can fantasize about other women without the offense of other men being involved. Just to be deeply and painfully honest. But such honesty is often required.

Sometimes we have to go into the sewer to get others out of it.

Bottomline, though: Would anyone ever really want to remove that sexuality of their own self? There is no true replacement. There is a deep, hardly understood reason why men are men and women are women.


The more one understands and respects their own sexuality, and the sexuality of the other sex, I think, the more they see why this is wrong.


But I also strongly agree, many of these Christians and others out there are unfairly brutal on such people. If anyone errors it is because of many factors, and it is true God has them in that place of error. But this does not mean they should continue in it. And we sometimes do have to be difficult or controversial to bring them out of it.