I agree with what you've written, Gxg (G²). How do you think educators and others can address racial issues like this in a way that doesn't overwhelm kids or make them hate themselves? It broke my heart to read in the OP that a second grader, a little child, would feel bad for their skin color based on what they got out of that day's lesson.
I grew up in a mixed Anglo/Latino town and family, and don't recall ever being made to feel bad about that when we would learn about Latino cultural identity, politics, history, etc. in elementary school (mostly in Spanish, mostly from Hispanic teachers). I have to believe this can be done in other racial and cultural contexts. They can't have lost the technology over the last 30 years!
In light of your experience growing up, I agree with you that there's no reason that the same can occur in other places.....and seeing other families I know of and many other examples where others grew up in mixed communities or in settings where a school had one dominant ethnic group and respect occurred, I don't go with the idea that it cannot be done.
I think that the concept of education cannot be made separate from what occurs in the family. In previous times, education was not seen as the responsibility of the schools primarily since what was taught was reinforced at the home - and others taught needed skills such as learning how to listen to long-debates, do critical thinking and value the world you live in. These things still happen today, of course. From a personal standpoint, I am reminded of the work I once did at a small Montosori school based on the
One Room School h
ouse model wh
ere education was more personal (whic
h many used when denied education and they taught with fewer resources than their white counterparts and
yet often had more success while also having freedom to teach on black history/things to be proud of since most of the other schools would not). Being there, I was amazed at how much difference others had in success because of parent-teacher involvement and not doing things based on an assembly-line model for teaching where others were all taught the same - or others were taught without having learning happening the home. If a child has a strong self-image developed at the home they come from, what's said in the schools will not really take them off guard.
For many families who cannot afford to send their children to private schools or charter schools, I am amazed to see how successful their children are in spite of things - those kids going on to do great things because things were handled well at the home. But in regards to kids feeling bad, I think the way things can be handled is by simply training others to deal in facts and debate: Don't deny something if it's true and actually happened - as history is history and there have been negative things happening in all ethnic groups...and while we don't need to act as if the actions of others in our ancestors past are our fault (if those actions are evil/left an impact), there also does not need to be a false mindset saying that any level of regret on negative things done is wrong...specifically if it seems no one acknowledges them. I've seen this when others were shocked at me being in a Christian- College prep high school and listening to what they had to say about the Civil War (from a white perspective) in justifying slavery - and although I disagreed with it strongly, I chose to listen....but I also discussed with the other students and had many good debates with others (even teachers) when it came to what I grew up with. At those points, it became an issue of "Who is the better debator and what are the facts?" - and that's what allowed for healthy dialogue.
Additionally, as others tend to listen to others who have good character, choosing to walk with integrity/have a good attitude and show concern for others actually led to me being considered more in what I said since it was not just about arguments. As the old saying goes, people won't care how much you know till they know much you care. And sometimes, part of opening up doors for practical education on social issues or ethnic concerns is remembering how to handle relational issues (i.e. learning how to ask insightful questions to make other think, listening to people/showing you're concerned with what happens in their lives, showing graciousness when people react to you, etc.). Proverbs 25:15 is so true when it says
Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone. and Proverbs 16:24 when it says G
racious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. or Proverbs 16:21 when it says
The wise in heart are called discerning, and gracious words promote instruction.. Having a family where Proverbs was huge and we were taught a lot on relational IQ, it was helpful for me in knowing how to make others want to listen...
Moreover, part of what helped others listen to me was knowing how to find common ground with them on many issues (even if I disagreed) - showing I could actually argue their heart/see what they said rather than just dismiss it because I disagreed. I may not agree with the idea that slavery was overall a good thing - BUT I could at least note to them I agreed with them when noting that not all slaves either rejected slavery or were treated harshly and the CIVIL War was far more complicated than being about slavery alone. I may not have agreed with them that Catholics are to be condemned and will go to Hell - but I could definitely note where I was concerned with the latter innovations RCs came up with and asked others to submit to (i.e. Papal Infallibility, etc.). I may not have agreed with them that government assistance/welfare was horrible in all cases due to what I saw growing up, but I could engage with them on how the system was flawed and why being independent was crucial for success.
Other times, IT was apparent that they really could not listen fully or hear where I was coming from - especially as it concerns things pertaining to Black or Hispanic history that went counter to what they had assumed/be taught in their own churches - and and in those moments, I either remembered my parents wisdom in standing firm or going with their wisdom in knowing to ignore it as best as possible since it didn't change who I was - and I didn't apologize for having the experences I did growing up or act as if it wasn't real. I was very strong in my stances for anyone wanting to ask me and my parents reinforced that. Growing up in a home where reading extensively (including classics) on history and learning in general was highly valued (one of my favorite pastimes being talking to my mom/grandma on life growing up for them or watching documentaries with my step-dad on PBS or just having debates with my cousins), I was blessed.
Many black parents did the same and I was told on it often when it came to values in our homes which we reminded each other of (as it concerned our experiences as Blacks, be it Afro-Latino or Afro-American or African-American Indian, or experiences of Whites who disagreed with some of the views in the school that didn't reflect their experiences). A lo
t of parents see that aggressively promoting the mindsets you want your kids to walk in is key - even if
means homeschooling (
if able to afford it). since they wa
nt their own values reinforced.....and
many Christians are taking this route.
In other schools like the public sector where education is stricter, you still have students who realize what's taught really isn't accurate - and they challenge one another outside the classroom ...and the same goes for teachers who do what they can but seek to inspire others to learn - as well as noting where they may have issue with curriculum. However, for many cases of teachers seeking to educate on ethnic differences, there's not a lot of support from the PTA and parents make a world of difference in what is promoted in the schools.
But when it comes to parents, what has to be remembered is that not all within a group have the same value - thus meaning that black parents training their kids at home will not mean that they have the same values as other black parents when it comes to how they see issues. The same goes for white parents as well when speaking on issues: Both need to be able to understand how to train their kids to discuss subjects - even if it means disagreeing agreeably and knowing how to pick & choose your battles. Additionally, both need a lot of patience - for you're not just dealing with exchanging facts but filters....and it takes time for people to realize where they may not be able to hear because they don't realize where they have to remove pre-existing assumptions they didn't know they even had. That happens when in relationship with others, starting friendships and learning to engage each other.
What many of my friends were taught growing up was that they were essentially missionaries in their school - and many of them noted the opportunites they were given to witness/educate and challenge others personally were priceless. Of course, pratically, for others wanting a good education they did school-choice options and went to where they could learn. I was blessed to be one of them and it's why I stopped going to public school due to a lot of the ignorance. Nonetheless, even in a Christian high school, there were still racial issues as it concerns ignorance of what happened historically in different groups - and battles in not fitting the dominant theme at the school (i.e. Reformed, staunchly white, evangelical, conservative seen as "God's Best", etc.). As I grew up in a multi-cultural Evangelical Church, it was difficult seeing a lot of the things I saw - and the same went with how much others were very much Anti-Catholic (and Orthodox), which was a big deal for me since my family grew up Catholic and I still had Catholic family/friends elsewhere ...and other times, it was just bothersome feeling like you were the token black person everyone celebrated because you were "different" than other blacks they imagined and I had many moments I had to challenge them on not being stereotypical. But GOD gave grace..
And for parents who threw in bad kids into the school thinking it would help change them, it was difficult seeing those kids as an influence and sometimes wondering at the other students for how they seemed to go against Christ with ease in His name. I often felt isolated - but God gave me grace to get through it. And I did make friends with other students and my teachers who appreciated me for challenging them - just as I learned things from them I had not known before when growing up solely within the groups I had.
And to be clear, although I am speaking from my experiences in high school, I've seen others in the elementary school level who've had the same - some of the kids amazing me at how wise they are due to the training they had at home. My sister has some of the same battles I had as she goes to a Catholic School and yet is one of the only blacks in the school - often having it where she hears things from other students that we have to explain at home so she isn't bothered. Had it one time she was wondering why everyone "hated President Obama" and why she heard other students (if I remember correctly) say "This is what happens when you have a black president" - it was a big deal to explain how one can be respectful critiquing the president and yet know were not all things said were gracious or considerate and that she should remember how to handle stereotypes others have.
No place will be perfect - but because m
y parents were there for me and trained me while also providing a Church home I could have stability in and real discussion on issues my school seemed to avoid at times, I was able to thrive.
Deuteronomy 6:1-4 - These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all of his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life.
Ephesians 6:4 - Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 - These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children.
Deuteronomy 4:9 - Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.
As another noted best:
Our culture has spent trillions of dollars since 1965 on building expensive buildings, hiring well-qualified teachers and providing well-written textbooks, but none of this is as valuable as parents who care! We need good teachers; of that there is no doubt. We need good classrooms with all the technology; of that there is no doubt. We need textbooks that are sound and well-written; of that there is no doubt. But without parents who are engaged with their children, none of this will matter much.
And even as it concerns the president, the same reality is present for having the facts - as even my grand-father (after witnessing a century of the world and seeing politics all around even when working as a sailor on the docks of the Panama Canal) can still appreciate the president/complicated situations and note what others should be thankful for in the president rather than always critiquing him for a number of things....and many schools have that same basis when it comes to noting why they don't focus solely on Obama being a bad guy. Many whites have noted the same thing...just as others 
Maybe there's still a touch of Trekkie left in that expatriot! just maybe!
And if I don't make it, my wife's an RN who makes more money than I do! 
