Hi there, There are many of us who are uncertain of our future where it concerns our mortality. However, where our salvation is concerned we hold to that faith that Jesus promised you everlasting life and He will never leave you nor forsake you.
I've been through that feeling of not getting through. When I went to my pastors wife and spoke to her about it fearing the worst she merely told me that sometimes God withdraws as a momma bird will push her baby out of the nest He wants us to learn to live on the faith that we know He is here for us always. So we do what we do as God is hearing every word as He really is. It's a way to teach us to live by faith not by sight or feelings.
I was so distraught I was like an addict I wanted that constant prodding of the Holy Spirit telling me what to do now suddenly that presence seemed to be gone. He is not. He is listening and He is right by you watching you take those steps a little at a time. Please, I encourage you to pray the harder and to after the prayer to Thank Him for hearing and doing the prayer in advance. For His word says if you ask you will receive. If you knock the door will be opened unto you.
This is a hard thing to do but once you learn not to depend on that feeling or emotion there comes a knowing that He is right there. He's never left. He will answer those prayers said in Faith. Just call those things that are not as though they were by faith and He will do the rest. Please hang in there. I miss that feeling of His constant presence every day but when I go to Him in prayer I am so close to Him because by faith I know He is there. I talk to Him as if He were sitting across the table from me listening with a cup of coffee. Sometimes I get discouraged as it does not seem that anything is changing but some things has to do with others wills. If they choose not to listen it is not His fault nor our we just have to keep lifting them up to the Lord no matter what we see on the outside. God's ways are so much higher than ours and we have to Trust that He knows what He is doing.
Lastly, please let me say that if those people around you do not want to hang out with you then God wants you to broaden your horizons. Sometimes it is time to move on sometimes a door closes but another will open. Perhaps you are at a higher learning level than they are and they are not ready to move up but you are not constrained by that. God wants you to move on maybe. Pray for them and ask Him to bring who He wants into your life. Maybe you have learned all you can from them and though you still care for them it is time to move to your next learning experience. You don't leave them cold you are still friendly with them you just move on. Don't be sad. Sometimes God has to do this to make you uncomfortable enough to force you to walk ahead so you can learn deeper things from Him and deeper things from new people. I have had to do this many times in my walk with Jesus. I walk away, yes, but they remain my friends. But each time I have walked away it is because God by His Holy Spirit is leading me to do so. He knows humans get in comfort zones and sometimes when He wants us to grow He has to move us out of those comfort zones to teach us our next lessons in life. Smile and be glad that you have been assigned for another higher lesson and there are new adventures and new people coming your way, some for you to teach what you have learned and some to teach you. Be humble and sweet and accept this as His way of moving you to where He wants you to go for your next lesson in life. Don't be discouraged. Be thankful. He has deemed you worthy to share your story plus to learn your next lessons from others who have made it though your next phase of the journey you are to go. Be humble and sit, so to speak, at their feet and learn. I hope something I've said will bring some comfort to you. God has never left you and He is hearing you. Maybe it is just time to move on. Maybe you have outgrown those others and it's time for you to learn from others and teach others. It is a privilege. God bless you hang in there and never doubt He is there. Set Him a place at the table set a steaming cup of coffee or tea for Him and talk to Him like He is right there. He will answer you. Get a journal. Ask a question of the Lord and wait until you hear that still small voice and write down every word you hear in your heart. Sometimes if we listen He is talking and our roar of life drowns Him out. This helps us to attune to His voice. Ask questions. Write prayer lists and when they are answered put the date and time and manner of how it was answered. This will be an encouragement to you and show you that He does hear. Sometimes it don't come quickly but it comes when the answer is right to come. He is never late. Those who diligently seek Him will find Him. God bless you so so much and may you find His peace and I hope that something I have said will bring you peace and joy and understanding. If it has then I have passed a test of helping someone move through something I have gone through. May His wisdom be your guide. Read psalms as prayers PS 86 is a great prayer. God bless
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