Poll: Do you partake in the "dark joy"?

[BadHabit]

No, I don't gossip. I'd have to have people in my life to gossip about or interactions with others to overhear gossip. I'm in the clear.

 

[Sumwear]

Gossip is hard to define. "I heard from a guy on the radio who claimed to have insider knowledge that the Giants are going to go after so-and-so with their first round pick." is gossip. I'm not sure that's sinful though.

Gossip could ran a whole spectrum of things: from the most trivial, obvious, and good things. Saying to other people that your friend has a dog is pretty inconsequential. It could also be malicious, based off of bad hearsay, and just jabbering something you were supposed to keep a secret. The one that always irks me is when the females in my family start talking about other people. Mostly due to the fact that the topic revolving those said people is unpleasant and at times baseless. You guys are probably aware of how it goes:

Did you hear about Mr. X?

No, what?

Well, I heard.

STOP RIGHT THERE! People conjure up all sorts of stupid assumptions and you want to damage someone's opinion about somebody or even their own freaking reputation over hearsay?

 

[Michie]

I'll just add, as the article pointed out, that men can be just as bad or worse. The problem of gossip is not a gender issue.

Gossip could ran a whole spectrum of things: from the most trivial, obvious, and good things. Saying to other people that your friend has a dog is pretty inconsequential. It could also be malicious, based off of bad hearsay, and just jabbering something you were supposed to keep a secret. The one that always irks me is when the females in my family start talking about other people. Mostly due to the fact that the topic revolving those said people is unpleasant and at times baseless. You guys are probably aware of how it goes:

Did you hear about Mr. X?

No, what?

Well, I heard.

STOP RIGHT THERE! People conjure up all sorts of stupid assumptions and you want to damage someone's opinion about somebody or even their own freaking reputation over hearsay?

 

[Sumwear]

I'll just add as the article pointed out that men can be just as bad or worse.

I believe it. I have a male coworker who also lives in the same neighborhood as I do and he has no problems spilling the dirt on people. I call him little diva not only because of his mouth, but also because he has a squeaky voice and a napoleon complex.

 

[bill5]

As others said, you'd have define what you call "gossip" before I could give an answer. I don't think gossip simply means "knowing a secret," it has to have some kind of negative tone or intent to it.

I can't say never but I rarely talk of others behind their back in a negative way. If they have wronged me, however, I might, and I don't mean in a "I"ll get back at them" way......for ex. a contract job I was on was cut short by a manager who was not only incompetent but quite the back-stabber, ie tried to blame me for her incompetence. I have no problem telling anyone about that, if nothing else as a warning if they or someone they know might ever think of a job there.

 

[WarriorAngel]

It is human nature to want yo know a secret, or something remarkable that is little known. We look for sensational headlines, we buy tabloids, and we watch TMZ, becsuse "insider" knowledge makes us feel either a part of something or superior to it. Perhaps we should ask ourselves if we as Pope Francis puts it, partake in the dark joy of gossip.

More-
http://aleteia.org/blogs/the-daily-catch/daily-poll-do-you-partake-in-the-dark-joy/

if i know i know.
if i dont i dont.

i am ok either way.
if someone says so and so is in jail - i ask why.
they say it in front of me...i wonder why.
if they say they cant say - then im still good.
cos i expect no one to betray trust.

 

[Michie]

Well I don't think gossip is so much withholding or sharing information. I have been thinking about this all night and I think it is malicious. Or downgrading another for whatever purpose. Gossip is usually something someone would not have the gonads to say to the person themselves. They instead run to others and say it.

if i know i know.
if i dont i dont.

i am ok either way.
if someone says so and so is in jail - i ask why.
they say it in front of me...i wonder why.
if they say they cant say - then im still good.
cos i expect no one to betray trust.

 

[Catherineanne]

Gossip is hard to define. "I heard from a guy on the radio who claimed to have insider knowledge that the Giants are going to go after so-and-so with their first round pick." is gossip. I'm not sure that's sinful though.

Yes, it is sinful. Unless we know that something is true, spreading this kind of gossip is bearing false witness. It is possible to say that the Giants may be interested in x; that is harmless enough. The bit that is gossip is the suggestion of superior knowledge in the source, intended to add credibility to what is in fact just a guess; that suggestion of superior knowledge is just puff.

 

[Catherineanne]

I feel same. It is hard to define but I think it is the intent behind the 'gossip' that makes it sinful.

No, it is the gossip that makes it sinful. If we do not know for a fact that what we are saying is true, then we should not repeat it.

 

[Catherineanne]

I always thought it meant to do harm to another by smearing them. Or spreading things true or untrue to ruin their reputation. As someone here said previously, if you can't say to them, you should probably not say it.

I think there is a difference when you are looking to address a concern for no other reason than resolution.

Who knows what can do harm, though? What may sound harmless to us might be very much more meaningful to someone else. Good intentions are really not enough, imo.

I had a Vicar who turned against me, but was not honest about it. He listened to any gossip he could find about what I was or was not doing, and used it against me. He ignored the good, and magnified any suggestion that people were unhappy. People talking about me did not always know that they were contributing to his behaviour, but they were. And those who disliked me found a ready ear to anything negative at all that they could come up with; they said what they liked and he believed it. Meanwhile, I said nothing bad about them.

Very nasty stuff.

 

[Michie]

Who knows what can do harm, though? What may sound harmless to us might be very much more meaningful to someone else. Good intentions are really not enough, imo.

I had a Vicar who turned against me, but was not honest about it. He listened to any gossip he could find about what I was or was not doing, and used it against me. He ignored the good, and magnified any suggestion that people were unhappy. People talking about me did not always know that they were contributing to his behaviour, but they were. And those who disliked me found a ready ear to anything negative at all that they could come up with; they said what they liked and he believed it. Meanwhile, I said nothing bad about them.

Very nasty stuff.

I'm so sorry you had to experience that. Vey sad it was inside the church.

 

[Cos-play]

Gossip is hard to define. "I heard from a guy on the radio who claimed to have insider knowledge that the Giants are going to go after so-and-so with their first round pick." is gossip. I'm not sure that's sinful though.

I disagree. I think there is a difference between sharing intelligence (information) and gossip. The line can be fine but I think you know when you've crossed it.

Your above example is just sharing information.

What I'm not sure of this: A lot of times I have facts about people and suppositions those facts drawn me toward. Now, if asked by someone involved in a situation I might give them the facts I have and tell them to draw their own conclusions knowing (or at least assuming) what those conclusions will be.

It's not straight tell someone something about which I have no direct knowledge but it might be over the line as to sharing information.

I don't know.

 

[Catherineanne]

I'm so sorry you had to experience that. Vey sad it was inside the church.

Thank you, Michie. I appreciate you saying that; it helps.

 

[Catherineanne]

I disagree. I think there is a difference between sharing intelligence (information) and gossip. The line can be fine but I think you know when you've crossed it.

Your above example is just sharing information.

What I'm not sure of this: A lot of times I have facts about people and suppositions those facts drawn me toward. Now, if asked by someone involved in a situation I might give them the facts I have and tell them to draw their own conclusions knowing (or at least assuming) what those conclusions will be.

It's not straight tell someone something about which I have no direct knowledge but it might be over the line as to sharing information.

I don't know.

Imagine the person you are talking about standing beside you and then see if you want to say whatever it is. That is a very good way to work out whether to keep quiet or not.

 

[bill5]

No, it is the gossip that makes it sinful.

Gossip makes gossip sinful? ??

It is indeed the intent (mostly if not entirely) that makes it sinful. If someone goes "did you hear joe and betty are getting divorced? I hear he cheated and....." That is sinful. But if it's "hey did you hear joe got a new car? I hear it's really nice" that is hardly sinful.

If we do not know for a fact that what we are saying is true, then we should not repeat it.

Something can be true and still be gossip though.....

 

[WarriorAngel]

Anything that would harm someone's rep.
Whether a lie or true - shouldn't be shared.
Especially if it was said in confidence.

I'm mostly a listener.
mostly.
Seldom do i say much even about this one woman i dont like at work.
Prudence is best... plus it keeps you out of trouble.

Some ppl will make a story or exaggerate something to sound like they know stuff.
Those are the sort i just listen to. best to avoid it.

 

[WarriorAngel]

I'm fairly cranky over someone i dont know [on facebook - friend of a friend] who reportedly ran her mouth about me to ppl i do know.
Well, one i was starting to know.
We kind of dont chat so much anymore.

IMHO - it wasnt her biz to talk about me, she didnt even know me.

 

[Michie]

I'm fairly cranky over someone i dont know [on facebook - friend of a friend] who reportedly ran her mouth about me to ppl i do know.
Well, one i was starting to know.
We kind of dont chat so much anymore.

IMHO - it wasnt her biz to talk about me, she didnt even know me.

Ugh. Facebook!

 

[Catherineanne]

Gossip makes gossip sinful? ??

It is indeed the intent (mostly if not entirely) that makes it sinful. If someone goes "did you hear joe and betty are getting divorced? I hear he cheated and....." That is sinful. But if it's "hey did you hear joe got a new car? I hear it's really nice" that is hardly sinful.

Something can be true and still be gossip though.....

Why do you think it is not sinful to talk about someone getting a new car?

That might indeed be sinful and harmful.

 

[bill5]

?? Why do you think it is?

Again, it's about the tone/intent. Simply talking about someone is not in itself sinful.