Please pray for me. I am angry at God for giving me autism.

[William J]

I pray that God would be with and help you cope with autism. I pray that God would provide all the resources you need and that He would help you find supportive friends and a godly wife.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Sometimes I think banging my head against the wall hard will rewire my brain correctly and get rid of my autism.

Of course I know that won't work and I can hurt myself.

 

[onceEMT]

Please pray for me. I am angry at God for giving me autism.

If I did not have autism my life would be different. I would be employed graduate from College, living on my own, slim, married to a beautiful woman with kids. But no he cursed me.

Instead I am, obese, have never been in a relationship, have Phobias, unemployed and still living at home.

Yes I try to socialize but it always ends in nothing meaning the conversation ends before it begins. I try new things but it's the same outcome again don't socializing. Then I have to hear about every normal person in Church who is blessed while I have none of that.

My biggest fear in life is dying alone.

 

[onceEMT]

I will pray for you, Tony. You've received some great advice from your peers in this chat room.
A miracle sometimes happens after taking small steps. The journey of a million miles starts with one step.
It's great to see you here reaching out to other Christians. Your brothers and sisters in Christ are receiving the power of the Holy Spirit to share that which He delivers.
Jesus got you through yesterday. He's getting you through today. He will get you through tomorrow.

 

[LoricaLady]

I have a friend from church who wants to practice social skills with me in the new year. The only problem is that he has a new kid which makes time difficult.

I also chat with one woman my age from Church by text. She came up to me. I could have never come up to her to talk, I would have been too afraid.

Why not be straight up with the woman? First tell her you really enjoy talking to her, but that you do have Asperger‘s, and sometimes you find yourself falling into awkward silences. Maybe make a little joke about how you are a really good listener, though!

Everyone enjoys being listened to, not uncommonly a lot more than they enjoy being talked to.

 

[LoricaLady]

P. S. When you are doing your good listener thing, you might want to have a list in your head of things to say that are encouraging to the speaker, like.”Really?… That’s interesting. ..No
Kidding…. Hmmm… That must make you feel ———glad—-sad—very sad——-relieved—-concerned —I’m so sorry to hear that and will be praying for you—— That is wonderful news and I’m glad to hear it————-“

If someone shared something with you, make a mental note, even write it down, so that the next time, when you see them, you can ask a follow up question like, “So how is it going about——-“.

Also, in conversation lag times, most people are happy to be asked about how things are going with their family or work or school or whatever they are involved in.

So much of human communication involves a whole lot of familiar and repeated phrases.

Add in nonverbal communication. Things like an occasional nodding head to show you are really attentive. Maybe pursed lips and eyebrows moved closer together,when you hear something that sounds distressing to that person, after you say you’re sorry to hear that. Leaning your head in close to the other person as a sign of being attentive. Nodding with a thoughtful look on your face.

Then, when it seems a conversation is over, it can be helpful to say things like, “Thanks for sharing that——- as I said, I like to be a good listener, so anytime you want to bend my ear, feel free, I would be honored——-“

Perhaps your friend, who wants to help you with social skills could give you some more input in this area. And, as mentioned in an earlier post, practicing before a mirror, or with an iPhone video can be helpful.

The Bible tells us to be quick to listen and slow to speak. You can get to be a real pro at that with practice!

 

[Earthbear]

Hi,

I am autistic and I spent 7 years in the military listening to loud noises, I had my fiance cheat on me and leave me on a cold winter night.

My favorite movie is Hachi, it was about a loyal dog who kept waiting at a train station his whole life, I clawed my way through college and I held a full time job for over 2 years now.

Here are a few things that helped me, exercise a lot, if you are autistic it is better to have a structured workout regiment, you could join a powerlifting club or do gym classes.

Work on social cues and be friendly to people. If you look very sad/angry you will be hard to approach and people will isolate you, try to treat people good even if they don't always treat you good. I have had people treat me like an animal, I feel like I have to be several inches taller, workout way more, have a way better job to be treated halfway decent like a human, I am pretty tall and good looking but because I am a little different it has been very difficult to be accepted but with a lot of effort you can be accepted.

If you want to have a relationship don't go to church and expect to find one, go to the right environment a dating app or specially go to singles meet groups at a church. This can frustrate you because people are there for God you have to respect that and not use church to hope you find some pretty lady to talk to you. You have to try to solve your problems in ethical ways and treat people good, people who have any type of disabilities or are different in some way such as being a minority tend to have very difficult lives and often to work much hard to be accepted. I am sorry that life is like that but in a way you can be blessed because you would have to work so hard, what I mean is some non-autistic people might not appreciate a relationship as much they just get it handed to them and I have seen a lot of men take beautiful women in their lives for granted.

Here are some specific dating tips and I have been able to go on some dates with very very beautiful high quality women.

With a profile try to remove any inappropriate pictures or innuendos, be respectful does not have to be perfect but you should have a respectful profile.

If a women rejects you then move on, I have felt like an ant in a colony, a spartan baby chucked off a cliff, they pull out a measuring tape, go through a checklist, like no beard then get out of here, the reality is that some women are extremely selective and finnicky which is probably why they stay single for so long. Some women have trust issues because they all chase that same guy with the beard and he only picks one so women can come off as being defensive try not to take that personally.

Start with saying hello, give a non-appearance related compliment and mention something about their profile. After that try to limit texts to a few a day for maybe about the first week. Every morning send them a friendly good morning with a coffee emoji or something cool and then I send them a goodnight emoji with a kitten in a blanket something heartwarming and ask them about their day and make one question towards getting to know them better.

This is what you should do if they are a responsive texter otherwise just play it by ear leave them alone text someone who replies to you only
1 - positive good morning text to brighten day
2 - ask how day is
3 - make an effort to know them better
4- compliment/positive goodnight text

After doing that for a week or two ask them respectfully on a date, talk on the phone or skype or play a game online do something together, if you go a couple dates go good you could probably ask them to be your girlfriend but take your time.

Main advantage of being a guy is no menopause so even if women put you through the ringer at least you can spend a lot time learning/working hard to figure out how to improve

 

[Tony Ramirez]

There is no singles group at my church. I requested it many times but I was told no one but me would show up since my church is mostly couples.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Does God curse people? I think he does, it's in the bible. I know he cursed me.

 

[Lost Witness]

Does God curse people? I think he does, it's in the bible. I know he cursed me.

Tony,
GOD hasn't cursed you,
that's the enemy telling you these things
everything that GOD does is in fact to our benefit even if we don't understand it
the enemy WILL and does use scripture against us

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Thanks. I guess I can see some blessings in my life. I have a roof over my head. I have no debt. I have support financially from my parents.

I just really want a girlfriend and I know I would have one if I did not have autism.

 

[LW97Nils]

Don't get angry! Thank him instead! It may be a blessing.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Don't get angry! Thank him instead! It may be a blessing.

Thank him for what. My life would be so much better if I did not have autism.

The only thing I can think of is that he gave me autism so I would find him. Maybe if I did not have autism I would have not found God. It is just something I think about as all of my NT cousins don't care or believe in God.

 

[LW97Nils]

Thank him for what. My life would be so much better if I did not have autism.

What would you be like then?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

What would you be like then?

Like I said, probably married with kids but not close to God. Even though I am still not close to God. I only worship at Church but not much and I only pray with my NT Christian friends. Not just my autism but my two major phobias (Zomaiphobia, Maskaphobia) prevent me from really believing in God.

 

[LW97Nils]

Like I said, probably married with kids but not close to God.

I have met a young lady who is a member of the Orthodox Church and her father has Asperger's

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I have met a young lady who is a member of the Orthodox Church and her father has Asperger's

No one from church or anywhere else I meet has ASD.

 

[Lost Witness]

No one from church or anywhere else I meet has ASD.

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME,
PRAY WITHOUT CEASING.

 

[peaceful-forest]

No one from church or anywhere else I meet has ASD.

Have you thought about finding an online community to meet others with Asperger's?

 

[LoricaLady]

I have a friend from church who wants to practice social skills with me in the new year. The only problem is that he has a new kid which makes time difficult.

I also chat with one woman my age from Church by text. She came up to me. I could have never come up to her to talk, I would have been too afraid.

Most people enjoy good listeners more than good conversationalists!

You can become a wonderful listener, and also be a comfort to others as the Lord directs.
Anyway, the Bible tells us to be quick to listen and and slow to speak!

You can illicit conversation from others with statements, like…

So how is it going with you? How are your kids getting along? I hear you got a new pet/home/job and wonder if that is working out well.

Comments like these can keep things friendly…

No kidding? That’s great. Or - I’m sorry to hear that. And so on.

When they talk use body language that shows you are really being attentive. Nod your head sympathetically. Purse your lips, and knit your brows a little bit, as if you’re thinking about what they said. Again, these kinds of things can be practiced in the mirror.

You may want to just flat out tell some people that you feel are pretty trustworthy that you have autism, and that sometimes you have difficulty with conversation, but that you love to listen!

Make mental, or even written, notes about things they have told you so you can ask about them later.

Again, there are lots of websites, and videos on YouTube, that can help with social skills.

I pray that the Lord will bring you into peace and comfort in communicating with others.