Parents say fake online 'friend' led to girl's suicide

[Steezie]

It sets a dangerous precedent, however.

If I am dating someone who is emotionally unstable and I decide to call off the relationship, and the person commits suicide, am I responsible for his death because I knew he was mentally ill and I also knew that my departure would leave him devastated and suicidal? That is the kind of slippery slope we'd be heading down if these kinds of actions become prosecutable.

That is different, you didnt intentionally call it off for the sole purpose of upsetting him and provoking him. This woman did what she did for the express purpose of upsetting the young woman and that led to her suicide.

Hurting someone's feelings should not be a criminal offense. People have to learn how to cope, whether they're 14 or 40. Otherwise the family of *anyone* who commits suicide will have grounds to sue anyone who ever did or said anything to make the victim feel bad.

Again, this is FAR more serious than hurt feelings, this was a deliberate attempt to provoke an already emotionally unstable person.

 

[praying]

That's very sad But what if there's some other side of the story? There must be a reason why the mother of the other child said that the girl was cruel.... maybe the girl did exactly the same thing to her child first, and she just wanted her to realize how much it hurts?

Umm she is supposedly the adult, not the way to set a great example for your child. Let's exact vengeance.

 

[pgp_protector]

This is why it doesnt pay to spy on your kids or thier friends online

???
Wouldn't it of been better if the parents DID spy / watch what there child was doing online ?

 

[jayem]

I live in Missouri, and this story has gotten a fair amount of coverage. According to the local paper, there just isn't any law making emotional harm a criminal offense. Prosecutors have been examing the case for some time, but can't find any statute that was broken, or any other grounds for filing criminal charges. The law doesn't change fast enough to keep up with social changes.

I think the parents may have grounds for a civil suit. I don't know about MO, but some jurisdictions allow suits for intentional infliction of emotional distress. Which seems pretty clear-cut in this case. Even if the perps don't get criminal penalties, a multi-million dollar judgement would hit them where it hurts.

 

[Steezie]

I live in Missouri, and this story has gotten a fair amount of coverage. According to the local paper, there just isn't any law making emotional harm a criminal offense. Prosecutors have been examing the case for some time, but can't find any statute that was broken, or any other grounds for filing criminal charges. The law doesn't change fast enough to keep up with social changes.

I think the parents may have grounds for a civil suit. I don't know about MO, but some jurisdictions allow suits for intentional infliction of emotional distress. Which seems pretty clear-cut in this case. Even if the perps don't get criminal penalties, a multi-million dollar judgement would hit them where it hurts.

Theres emotional distress and then theres driving someone to suicide. Driving someone to suicide is murder, doing it accidentally is manslaughter, there ARE precedents for this

 

[Avatar]

And we're not talking about peers being mean to each other here, its an adult intentionally messing with a vulnerable child's mind. If a neighborhood parent had done this to my daughter and she took her life, I don't know, I'd be hard pressed not to take matters into my own hands.

 

[Diane_Windsor]

They played on a child's emotions, setting her up to take an emotional fall that they knew she was ill-equipped for. They should carry the responsibility for their actions.

Let's consider this for a moment.

As I understand the CNN article Megan signed up to MySpace before she was 14 violating MySpace policies. As a 14 year old she was under the authority of her parents, and therefore, her parents are respsonsible for her safety and well-being. It's part of their job description as parents. Her parents should have been closely monitoring their daughter's internet activities, immediately closed her MySpace account, and not allow her to get close to people she met online.

Megan went to her room, and by her own will she hanged herself. Unless I'm missing something she was alone in her room, and nobody was holding a gun to her head forcing her to slide a rope around her neck and hang herself. Megan herself bears ultimate responsiblity for her suicide and her parents are also partially to blame.

I find it sad that her parents failed her so many times that this could have been avoided. I find it even more sad that her parents can't take responsibility and are blaming others for their daughter's suicide.

 

[Steezie]

Let's consider this for a moment.

As I understand the CNN article Megan signed up to MySpace before she was 14 violating MySpace policies. As a 14 year old she was under the authority of her parents, and therefore, her parents are respsonsible for her safety and well-being. It's part of their job description as parents. Her parents should have been closely monitoring their daughter's internet activities, immediately closed her MySpace account, and not allow her to get close to people she met online.

That doesn't negate what this woman did.

Megan went to her room, and by her own will she hanged herself. Unless I'm missing something she was alone in her room, and nobody was holding a gun to her head forcing her to slide a rope around her neck and hang herself. Megan herself bears ultimate responsiblity for her suicide and her parents are also partially to blame.

Her parents do share some of the blame for not watching her as closely, but we have to be realistic, its impossible to watch your kids 24/7. Especially online and especially if a kid is an MTV Generation kid who knows the ins and outs of a computer and the parents do not.

Megan killed herself as direct result of what the woman said to her. Driving someone to commit suicide, intentional or not, is still bearing responsibility for thier death.

I find it sad that her parents failed her so many times that this could have been avoided. I find it even more sad that her parents can't take responsibility and are blaming others for their daughter's suicide.

Again, parents cant watch kids 24/7

 

[pgp_protector]

That doesn't negate what this woman did.

Her parents do share some of the blame for not watching her as closely, but we have to be realistic, its impossible to watch your kids 24/7. Especially online and especially if a kid is an MTV Generation kid who knows the ins and outs of a computer and the parents do not.

Megan killed herself as direct result of what the woman said to her. Driving someone to commit suicide, intentional or not, is still bearing responsibility for thier death.

Again, parents cant watch kids 24/7

If the parents can't control what goes on In there house on there computers, then they don't need one in the house.

I've got full control of what / where my little one goes & watch them whenever there online. Even from work I can watch what there doing, where there posting, and override them at any time, including disabling there internet access on the spot (In my house)

But I also teach them that
1) The Internet is Not a safe place (even places like this forum)
2) Not to trust anyone online unless they or I know them personally.
3) That the internet is like a city, and there are places you don't let your children go alone.

 

[Avatar]

If the parents can't control what goes on In there house on there computers, then they don't need one in the house.

I've got full control of what / where my little one goes & watch them whenever there online. Even from work I can watch what there doing, where there posting, and override them at any time, including disabling there internet access on the spot (In my house)

But I also teach them that
1) The Internet is Not a safe place (even places like this forum)
2) Not to trust anyone online unless they or I know them personally.
3) That the internet is like a city, and there are places you don't let your children go alone.

That's fine pgp, the parents didn't properly supervise their children. That doesn't in any way diminish the responsibility of this other family. That would be like saying because I let my little girl out after dark and wasn't watching, that I bear SOLE responsibility if something happens to her. Of course I absolutely bear responsibility but that in no way mitigates what another has done.

 

[pgp_protector]

That's fine pgp, the parents didn't properly supervise their children. That doesn't in any way diminish the responsibility of this other family. That would be like saying because I let my little girl out after dark and wasn't watching, that I bear SOLE responsibility if something happens to her. Of course I absolutely bear responsibility but that in no way mitigates what another has done.

True, but I was mainly responding to the part

Especially online and especially if a kid is an MTV Generation kid who knows the ins and outs of a computer and the parents do not.

 

[Steezie]

I've got full control of what / where my little one goes & watch them whenever there online. Even from work I can watch what there doing, where there posting, and override them at any time, including disabling there internet access on the spot (In my house)

Those programs are ridiculous, a ten year old can disable them. I know, I did it. When I was younger my parents tried those stupid things on me. Needless to say, someone who pays attention can disable them in a heartbeat. Can you afford to sit at a computer screen 24/7 and watch your kids all the time they are online?

But I also teach them that
1) The Internet is Not a safe place (even places like this forum)
2) Not to trust anyone online unless they or I know them personally.
3) That the internet is like a city, and there are places you don't let your children go alone.

And thats fine, but you cannot keep your child totally safe unless you lock them in your closet.

 

[Mr.Pious]

Megan killed herself as direct result of what the woman said to her. Driving someone to commit suicide, intentional or not, is still bearing responsibility for thier death.

Lets play pretend for a moment.

I am dating a girl I don't like, but I lead her on because I enjoy the sex. When eventually I get tired of her and tell her what I think or get caught cheating or whatever, is it really my fault if she kills herself? I mean granted what I did drove her to it, but should I be held criminally responsible because she killed herself?

 

[Steezie]

Lets play pretend for a moment.

I am dating a girl I don't like, but I lead her on because I enjoy the sex. When eventually I get tired of her and tell her what I think or get caught cheating or whatever, is it really my fault if she kills herself? I mean granted what I did drove her to it, but should I be held criminally responsible because she killed herself?

Did I [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] stutter? The woman INTENDED to cause emotional damage on this young woman who she already knew was emotionally un-stable.

 

[Lynden1000]

Did I [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] stutter? The woman INTENDED to cause emotional damage on this young woman who she already knew was emotionally un-stable.

We agree that the woman intended to upset the girl and hurt her feelings. Whether that makes her responsible for what the girl then chose to do is point of disagreement.

What I and some of the others are saying is that no matter how nasty this woman was to this girl, and we agree she was terribly nasty, the girl was still responsible for her own actions.

Think of it this way. What if the girl hadn't committed suicide. What if instead she found out what the family had done, grabbed a baseball bat, and proceeded to bash their heads in? Would we still be saying that the family was responsible for their own deaths because they were really really mean people and called this girl ugly names?

 

[Steezie]

We agree that the woman intended to upset the girl and hurt her feelings. Whether that makes her responsible for what the girl then chose to do is point of disagreement.

And according to legal interpretation and precedent cases, she is responsible

What I and some of the others are saying is that no matter how nasty this woman was to this girl, and we agree she was terribly nasty, the girl was still responsible for her own actions.

She is responsible for the act itself, but driving someone to suicide is murder, doing it accidentally is manslaughter.

Think of it this way. What if the girl hadn't committed suicide. What if instead she found out what the family had done, grabbed a baseball bat, and proceeded to bash their heads in? Would we still be saying that the family was responsible for their own deaths because they were really really mean people and called this girl ugly names?

Legally they might be able to plead to a lower sentence because of EED (Extreme Emotional Distress). But it wouldn't negate their crime. You are also talking about two different situations.

In one instance you have a young woman who is emotionally un-healthy, depressed, and lonely. In the other you have two adults who, though angry, are still stable enough to make a rational decision.

The mother knew this young woman was emotionally unstable and yet she tormented her anyways. This is the same as an athlete with a heart problem who dies after his coach runs him too hard and knows about the heart problem.

 

[Mr.Pious]

The mother knew this young woman was emotionally unstable and yet she tormented her anyways. This is the same as an athlete with a heart problem who dies after his coach runs him too hard and knows about the heart problem.

I take it you don't believe in personal responsibility?

 

[Caitlin.ann]

I take it you don't believe in personal responsibility?

Not when an adult and a 13 year old girl who's depressed and suicidal is involved. I was depressed/suicidal at the age of 14 and something like that at that age would have been a major blow to me at least. The fact is the woman was an adult who maliciously tried to hurt a 13 year old girl she knew was unstable and for what? Because of a teenage argument between the deceased and her daughter? The mother should be held accountable for her detestable actions.

 

[Steezie]

I take it you don't believe in personal responsibility?

I absolutely do, but to drive someone to suicide makes you responsible for thier actions

 

[pgp_protector]

I absolutely do, but to drive someone to suicide makes you responsible for thier actions

And what of the person that commits suicide ? Do they take any responsibility ?